Chat Room God:

This guy isn't smart enough to run a chat room on IRC. He is not on very often but, when he is, he calls everyone by their fist name. That is because he and his buddies just finished their shift at Burger King. Don't piss him off because he is in a bad mood. He will threaten to kick you. Of course he can't but people with real lives will leave because his crew will ignore you and continue their discussion about Bufffy The Vampire Slayer. If you check his profile, you will note he is seated at his computer and he really looks mad. More than likely he has shaved his head and is really over weight. He is deeply in love with his girl friend. Screen name usually involves some variation of stoner.

The Goth:

Despite their bleak out look on life Goth's are amusing. They will tell anybody who listens that life truly sucks. This is done on the latest computer their parents have bought them. They swear up and down Wicca isn't devil worship but, they don't actually know. They have cams and mics. Why is the Goth so unhappy? They want to fit in with their friends. High School Goths are funny. If they are in their 20's it's just sad. Pic on profile will be all in black of course. Various references will be made to Ozfest and how life sucks. Screen name usually makes reference to worldly struggles.

The Single Woman (Older):

This poor gal always has a sexy young sounding name. It is not always easy to understand her. All you can see after her screen name is LOL, LMAO, and various emoticons. Is she a virgin? No but, she has been celibate over twenty years. Insists her multiple dogs/cats are just as loving as any child could be. Will only refer to pets as "my babies". A check of her profile reveals a slightly overweight woman apologizing for the picture. Her pets birthdays will be listed and most likely be in the picture. She might actually get a date if she would get off line long enough for the phone to ring. Screen name is a girls name usually spelled with a y spelled with an i and vice-versa.

The Single Woman (Younger):

This character will announce to the room as often as she can that she needs to be layed. Many will not listen to her because they think she is a porn bot. She will describe what sex acts she has done and will do to anyone who answers her. Pathetic single guys will offer to take her out to dinner and a movie and the response will always be "Sure, as long as I get laid. ha ha" Then the other single girls will type LMAO. Complains to the room her PM's are always pervs. Screen names vary but will include breast size or how available she is sexually.

The Single Guy (Decent):

This poor guy is usually sincere. He is polite and well mannered. He says hi to every single woman, even the porn bots. He usually has a decent job and doesn't chat often so he doesn't always get chat-speak. Watch out though. The single guy takes it personal if you don't answer PM's right away. He will apologize for bothering you and then leave the room. It is important to understand there are many types of single guys, the bad ones will keep you on by telling you that women never talk to them. Screen name is real name with numbers that have significance to him.

The Single Guy (Bone Head):

This guy will PM you and then wonder why you haven't asked all about him. He will PM and demand you look at his pic. He will PM you and wonder what is wrong with you? Surely you can see how good looking he is. Why haven't you feel in love yet? He knows you need a boyfriend because you are in a chat room. Some of these guys actually think they are better than your current boyfriend. If you fall for this type you deserve each other. Screen name will have the word fine or hot followed by the word guy and 4U.

The Single Guy (Foreign):

It is difficult to ignore this fellow. One tries to understand the cultural differences but, it is easy to lose patience because if you don't respond to them in a second or two, you will be BUZZed. They will fall in love with you almost instantly. Every time you pop on line they will bury you with 4 to 5 messages professing their love and to ask if you got the ten e-mails they sent. There are varying degrees of irritation depending on the origin of the fellow. The Asian Indians are slighly more polite than those from the Mideast. Either way, it's going to be a bumpy ride that will end in a iggy. Screen name can offer a clue as to the country of orgin.

The Single Guy (Perv):

Pervs in a chat room are a fact of life. Most of the time they can actually get things going in a dead room. PMs from these guys usually involve a 69 reference. One might think all pervs are the same guy since their conversations are basically the same. Pervs have a strange quirk. If you ignore them they accuse you of being a tease and wonder why don't take them seriously. If you actually respond to their messages with the attention it deserves they will flame you in the room. Despite their insistence on telling you their penis size, they want you to think they are "regular guys".

The Wigger:

This character may be the most pitiful of all. This person is so insecure that even when asked nicely to quit using the five year old slang, they refuse. By the time one spends a few minutes with this individual it should be presumed that will mispronounce the word alright, yet they go out of their way to type "iight" into the conversation as many times as possible. Most people, white or black, will become quickly irritated with this person except the other wiggers. Sometimes it is amusing to try to get them stop "fronting". It wears quickly though. One might ask them to drop the vernacular and they might say, "I'm already did. Wanna' cam2cam?" One can even try asking them to lose the colloquialism and they will say, "babygurl i ain't a hater. iight?" Screen usually has no meaning.

MORE TO BE ADDED SOON.