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Tia FAQ's. (Frequently Asked Questions.)

Question: Have you ever been with a black man?

Answer: No I haven't but, I have be with a dog. You know what the say? "Once you had a hound you don't need a man around."

Question: Are you a model?

Answer: Have you seen that commerical for genital warts? That's me!

Question: Are you really a blonde?

Answer: Sadly due to a genetic disorder I have a total absence of body hair. Some people have mentioned that this isn't a problem. Being bald "down there" shouldn't be a turn on. If it is for you, move on.

Question: Have you ever been with a woman?

Answer: I thought at one time I had. I really enjoyed it too. It turned out to be an uncle I hadn't seen in a while.

Question: Do you want to fuck?

Answer: A woman respects honesty. This line has worked every time I have been asked at the needle exchange clinic where I work. Women don't care if you live in your mothers basement, just come out and ask her.

Question: Can I take you out to dinner?

Answer: Sure, if you don't mind walking. I have a gas problem and when I succumb to the inevitable process of digestion, the results have been compared to burning inner tubes. You won't be able to keep your eyes open as a result, that can be dangerous while driving.

Question: What religion are you?

Answer: Reformed Amish.

Question: Can I take you to a movie?

Answer: Yes but, no comedies. When I laugh I literally shit my pants. Not after dinner, unless you just want to hear it.

Question: How about a walk in the park?

Answer: Of course I would love to but, my eye might wonder if someone is walking their dog.

Question: Have you ever thought about a threesome?

Answer: Yes I have. My thought on this is the male half must not be doing his job too well. Usually these requests are made by the female half. I can just imagine what my boyfriend would think if I asked him if a girl could join us in bed. A girl never want another guy. Let's face it, with two girls the guy is going to finish real quick. Then what? However, if Fido is there I might consider it. Also I got to thinking, what if Abbott and Costello were discussing a threesome porno? It might go something like this:

Costello: "Hey Abbot!"

Abbott: "What Lou?"

Costello: "I heard you rented a threesome porno last nght."

Abbott: "I sure did, but it was Asian and these Asian porn stars have funny names."

Costello: "Like Sum Yung Boy?"

Abbott: "Yes, yes. This one stared Li Me, Yang Hoo, and Wang Yu."

Costello: "Who came first?"

Abbott: "Me."

Costello: "You?"

Abbott: "No! Me."

Costello: "That's what I said."

Abbott: "No you said, "Yu came first."

Costello: "She came second."

Abbott: "Who?"

Costello: "She came third...."

Abbott: "Who came first?"

Costello: "Me."

Abbott: "Never mind.......they get to the "money shot" who comes on who?"

Costello: "No! He comes on Me."

..........and so on.

Question: Is your pussy tight?

Answer: That is subjective. I don't really know other than what I have been told. They say they can't touch both sides at the same time. When I moan I hear an echo.

Question: Are you spiritual?

Answer: Of course. If you read the About Me section you will see that. Those little tracts set me on the right path. I would like to share one with you now.

I was given this life saving tract by a young man I met while I was working at the needle exchange. He suffers from acute brain damage but, this little book spoke volumes......