My parents are going to put up some money to help me pay my insurance until I get paid next. I didn't want to take their money; they've already done enough.

      I'm a man now right? I don't need help. I don't need handouts. I sure as shit don't need anyone looking out for me. I can take anything this world throws at me. Well, maybe not. OK, well maybe I need a little help now and then. Maybe you do too. Just maybe.

      I was reading a letter my mom had written me and I felt bad. So bad. People don't have what I have, and why? Why am I here with supportive parents that are always trying to look out for me, despite the independence I constantly try to build between us? I don't deserve it. There are others out there that need my mom damn it, and they don't have her. They don't have anyone and Why?

      WHY? It's fucking bullshit is what it is, why the hell do they face this world alone while I sit here, warm, knowing I've got a safety net. God, I want to be one of them. I can't take knowing that they're out there, with the snakes and with the spiders and I'm safe in here unable to bring them inside. I can pull and pull and share and share, but they're out there and I'm in here and I don't know why. I just want to grab on to them and tell this world that I'm not leaving them there alone. I want to cry out there with them and not inside, without bringing them with. I will not leave them alone. That will not happen. I don't care how this life goes anymore, or how much they try to push me back towards my net; I will not abandon those that I love and I will not leave them to fall alone.