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I enjoyed being in the town centre, and I enjoyed meeting new people. I started to develop a gift for an ease of conversation, becoming more and more confident with each passing day, shunning my "swot" background, standing up and saying "Fuck You!" once in a while. Wh?ile most of the changes can be said to have been influenced by my friends and emotional changes going on in my head, a lot of it was influenced by Vicky, the aforementioned girl. I'd actually met Vicky before college started, she was a friend of Henry's sister, but our age. I first met her on Halloween of 1996, dressed in a Pocahontas costume. Her, not me. Before that point, I had never wanted a girl to like me before. Yeah, I'd lusted over a few girls at school or whatever, but I actually saw something special in VIcky, and it was something a little more...mature. I would relish conversation with her, yearn to see her smile - to be the cause of that smile. Yes, she was the major influence during my college years, and possibly the biggest influence on me to date. At this poin tin my life, I had long hair, a well developed sense of humour, good friends, an unshakeable confidence in the validity of my thoughts and opinions and options ahead of me. i also had alcohol. The cellar bar, ah yes, back in the day. Now the Cellar Bar is populated by underage twats who all know each other and ram it down your throat that they do. But back in 97 and 98, we were those twats. And it felt good to be me. It probably marked the happiest time of my life, with no real worries, no responsibilities and the prospect of seeing a beautiful, fascinating girl every day. I did begin to meet new people both in and out of college. Two of Henry's friends, Dan and Phil, had always been about, but it was only at this time that I began to get to know them. They would soon become close friends, and members of The Massive, as vital to the core of the group as the boys from Pleckgate. We began to associate with others - JB, Big Mick, Fabio, Le Benj, Mr C, Pommy Rob and a whole host of other people, who, whilst not always there, were important. The first real "outsider" to be accepted into our group though, someone who had no prior connection to any of us was a lovely young girl from Ribchester. Emmy got to know Terrence and Henry, then the rest of us and we realised we had found a kindred spirit, a true and trusted soul.
Alcohol was discovered, enjoyed and then discarded by me over the course of the 2 years. Academically I was not doing particularly well, I was not attending lectures, doing essays or paying any particular attention to my future. I was, however, dancing. Each Friday would be spent around town, in both The Napier (then Pub of Champions, now toss-den) and The Cellar Bar for the first half of the vening, then the second would involve myself , Peck and Dan Duerdan at the local tiny Rock Club called C'est La Vie. This prepared me well for the rigours of university, and made my time at college seem blissful and carefree. We would dance and mosh for hours, often from ten till three, before walking home. Strange how someone as unfit as myself could do this every weekend without physically paying too much for it.
And Vicky? Well, I never did ask her out, all the confidence in the world will do you no good when you are stood before your perfect woman. I was afraid of rejection, and afraid that if it ever "came out" then it would spoil our friendship, which I genuinely did cherish. Ironically, the phrase "came out" punctuates the end of my hopes in relation to her, quite well, or at least, it did at the time - more of that in the future though. Still, every Wednesday Evening was a moment of happiness, wandering around the town centre trying to make her smile, just once more. How could someone with so romantic a nature end up as who he is now? Read on, it will all become apparent. |
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