I was one of those people for whom time did not heal all my wounds from caring for my mother. After four years, I still fought painful thoughts and relived horrific incidents which occurred during those years with Mom. It slowly dawned on me that perhaps I needed to work on my focus – To start remembering the good times with Mom, instead of only recalling the bad ones. My healing for the whole person might indeed rest in changing my focus to more humorous musings instead of harrowing ones. This is my attempt to bring healing to myself, as well as to offer the same to you who read here….

It seems true that blue skies follow the rain ---

Mom taught this to me, again and again

Look for the golden, the pure, and the light

Don't waste your days in sorrow or fright...

Blue skies are different to all who behold

Some indicate blessings, not yet foretold

Some warn of danger, coming our way

But in Mom's case, they were her way

Of saying that everything's right with the world

Nothing to worry her - Daily unfurled

Mysteries no longer - Secrets revealed

Life meant so much to her - Nothing concealed

All had been created, done and complete

She had but to wait for the Saviour, sweet

Her days found their beauty, despite all the pain

She always found blue skies after the rain ---

Her life stood for something positive, good

No matter how battered - determined she would

Withstand all the buffeting, onslaught and pain

Because she knew BLUE SKIES follow the rain.......

©2000 Dorothy Womack

Since I have already written several books concerning the account of my mother’s decline from Alzheimers, along with numerous poetic verse surrounding her deterioration, as well as others suffering from this debilitating illness, I felt it was time to put a little levity into the mix. My mother was well known for her humor, which remained with her throughout her lifetime. She was born happy, an accomplished accordionist, a self-taught musician, and an avid polka player too…..We could not have been more different!! However, I have many fond memories of my mother’s humor – Usually she was found to be the ‘fall guy’ in the scenarios, but she always took it with a good natured attitude and really enjoyed living life to the fullest. I named this site, ‘BLUE SKIES’, due to the fact that no matter how bad things became, Mom always looked for the blue skies to reappear – Many songs have been written about this upbeat attitude and I wanted to incorporate it into my writings and perhaps bring a little laughter into the heavy hearts of those who read here. This, then, is my tribute to her….

A friend gave me her black cat, who was very small and would not grow – I loved it, fed it, nurtured it, and Jinx turned into a very hefty family member!! When he first came to live with us, Mom was already bedfast. Jinx was very afraid and disoriented, so he jumped on top of the highest bookcase he could find and went to the farthest wall to sit. Mom was sleeping, and when she woke up, she screamed. She thought the ‘angel of death’ was coming for her!! I explained to her that it was only our new pet, but she was very superstitious and felt it was a bad omen having Jinx around. Well, Jinx took right to her and his newfound job was to sit on top of her bookcase, directly over her head, and stare down at her for hours upon hours!! This unnerved her greatly, to say the least. Usually she would blow her coach whistle in the middle of the night, which sent me flying into her room, and simply point up, saying ‘GET THAT’. That was my cue to remove my beloved Jinx from his position of night watchman!! I never could convince Mom that black cats are not harbingers of evil to come – But it was funny to watch their interactions with each other.© 2000 Dorothy Womack

My husband has always been a jokester and Mom was his highest priority. She loved the attention and no harm was ever done to her. One day, he put a large insect on Mom’s arm and she asked him why. He said he thought she needed a little prayer!! She said ‘Well yes of course I do – but why is this bug on me?’ My husband said ‘Oh, that is a praying mantis – That’s where the prayer comes from!!’ Hahahahahahah…..© 2000 Dorothy Womack

Long before Mom became bedfast, we took a trip to Florida. We were all in the same room at the hotel and settled in for the night. My husband and I noticed Mom was standing at the end of the bed, hopping up and down. He asked her what she was doing, and she said she needed to go to the bathroom. He gave me a really long look and then he asked her ‘well then, why don’t you just go?’ Mom looked over at both of us lying on the bed and it dawned on her that NO ONE was in the bathroom. She was free to use it – so with that, she hopped off, giggling all the way…..I laughed until I thought I would bust!!© 2000 Dorothy Womack

Many years after Mom became bedfast, the nurses would come out and quiz her on her knowledge. This gave them an idea of how her mind was deteriorating. On this one day, the nurse asked her what her name was before she married her second husband. She could not remember, but she could still think!! She looked up at me and said ‘Say, WE used to have the same last name!! What was it?’ I could not resist the temptation, so I said with a straight face ‘Well, it has to do with a goose’. Our name rhymed with an old cartoon about a goose, which I absolutely hated, so I was reluctant to say the actual name. Mom looked at me with such a confused look on her face, and said ‘Our name was GOOSEY GOOSEY GANDER???’ This was what she could remember, back from Mother Goose tales!! And I, the obedient daughter, said ‘YES, that was our name!!’. So Mom looked at the nurse and with all the dignity she could muster, answered ‘My name was Vivian Goosey Goosey Gander’….With that, the nurse actually peed her pants!!!© 2000 Dorothy Womack

When Mom was first diagnosed, my husband and I decided we would take Mom on weekly outings to Opryland, since she loved the music and outdoors. The day dawned very sunny and bright, Mom was in her wheelchair and had her catheter bag tethered to the outside wheel. She asked my husband to purchase a hat for her, to block out the heat, which he willingly did. All day long, people kept smiling at her, patting her knee and talking to her. She came away feeling so loved and special!! What she did not know until that evening when we returned home, that she had worn a cap the ENTIRE DAY which bolding declared ‘OLD FART’ on its brim…….© 2000 Dorothy Womack

We had a friend come visit us right after Mom lost her ability to walk by herself. After a week’s visit, we all took the friend back to the Nashville airport. There was no room in the truck, so I chose to ride in the truck bed with the luggage and the wheelchair. Of course, I had no idea that all of that stuff would be banging up against me the entire time!! Then to top off the day, I saw my husband rolling up the windows as we neared the airport parking lot. I wondered at the time why he was doing that, since there was no air conditioning in the old truck. It didn’t take but a few seconds to figure it out – The SPRINKLERS were running and I was drenched from head to toe!! I looked like a drowned rat!! I looked into the truck itself (when I could finally see through my glasses) and saw my husband, my friend and my mother’s shoulders all bouncing up and down – They were laughing so hard they were almost crying!! Instead of getting mad, I realized this enabled me to give Mom one of her last days of laughter – It has turned into one of my more precious of memories…..© 2000 Dorothy Womack

I was wearing a tee shirt with a decal on it, when Mom asked me what it was. I then asked her what she felt it looked like. Now, given her current state of living at the time, with the focus being on the bathers coming and going every day, she simply stated, laughing, ‘well, it looks like a butt-hole to me!!’. I did not bat an eye either – I merely replied, right in front of the bather, ‘Yes, mother, it is – I had a picture made of myself…It is a self-portrait!!’© 2000 Dorothy Womack

While caring for Mom, I got bitten by a brown recluse spider. By the time I saw a doctor, it had eaten a thumb sized hole into my arm. I stubbornly refused to be hospitalized for treatment, since Mom needed me at home to care for her!! So I prayed that God would heal me and He did!! However, I developed a real phobia of spiders. To this day, I still kill every spider I see and I do it with great vehemence and even glee!! I found out that using a fly swatter did not work, as some times the spider just flies off of it and then can bite you in mid-air. So..I thought, why not use a hammer???? Smash, nothing left!! I take my trusty hammer in my hands, raise it in the air, yell out ‘Hiroshima’ and smack that sucker as hard as I can!! © 2000 Dorothy Womack

We had a cat named Moe, which lived outside and only came around to eat. Now Moe got his name in an odd way - It was a tradition around our house that the outside cats presented their new babies to my mother, since she was in bed and could not move. This happened usually every Spring. So, when the mother cat brought up four babies, I told Mom she could name them. So she did - "Eenie, Meenie, Mienie and Moe" - OH DUH... So Moe visited us on occasion, usually just to eat - Until he got hit and needed help – Then Moe came around constantly, dragging his leg with him. I could not catch him to have him treated, so I called the vet about the decaying leg. He told me that if a blood vessel was cut, the leg would eventually fall off on its own. Otherwise, Moe would die from his injuries. Every day, Mom would look outside and see Moe, dragging his leg around behind him – It was quite pitiful to watch. So, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I took a small paring knife (which I threw away, in case anyone is grossing out right now) and made two slicing movements...EEKEE...EEKEE... The leg immediately fell off - while Moe seemed oblivious to it, drinking his milk and walking away on three legs as if they were four. Well, my husband had warned me (which you NEVER do), ‘Do not touch Moe’s leg !! It will fall off all on its own – Leave it alone!!’ Yeah, right buddy…..When he came in that night, he said ‘See, I told you the leg would fall off – You just have to leave things alone!!’. I was gonna be meaner than I was, but I finally settled on this prank instead. I took an old plastic plate (which I also threw away, for those of you who are still grossed out) and placed Moe’s leg on it. I then took it to my husband, presented it to him and said ‘Here, Moe said to give you this’……With that, I actually saw him turn GREEN and almost pass out!! I wish I had had a camera…. © 2000 Dorothy Womack

We were watching the political elections of not only the President, but also all the retiring Senators on television. I commented to Mom, ‘It concerns me that so many of our Senators are as old as you are and still in office – At your age, would YOU want to run for office and make decisions for the country?’ With that, my mother calmly stated, ‘No, I would just be grateful to RUN!!’ …..(She had been bedfast for over a year by that time – so RUNNING meant movement, not social reform!!
© 2000 Dorothy Womack

We took Mom to get groceries, as was our custom for many years before she ever became ill. We noticed that she was having problems with her bladder, and leaving evidence behind her wherever she went!! She just laughed it off, and we lived in our blissful denial….On this occasion, she added a new twist to the grocery visit – She just disappeared from us and we found her, WAVING from a wire half-cart!! Most buggies are built with a complete wire ‘basket’, but this one was like shelves, only they leaned over and were very unsteady. There she sat, groceries in hand, waving at us, yelling ‘YOO HOO’ all over the store!! My husband was trying to hide, while I was trying to figure out how in this world did she manage to hop up into that wire shelf and balance herself without turning over??? Then, to add insult to injury, Mom began to call out to both of us, using our NAMES, yelling ‘YOO HOO, YOO HOO’ over and over again, where everyone in the entire store could look directly at us!! We knew then that something was really wrong with Mom, but we just thought she was STRANGE…..Oh duh…….© 2000 Dorothy Womack

BUFFET IN A BAG

Years before we had a clue about Mom’s illness, she would take my husband and I out once a week to a buffet of her choice. After eating, she would make the rounds of the buffet table, putting whatever whole pieces of fruit, cookies and crackers she could manage into all of her coat pockets!! Although embarrassing, we just let it slide because we figured that was just ‘Mom’ – She always said the sign said ALL YOU CAN EAT and that is what she was doing, filling up her pockets with all she could carry off!! Then, one day in the summertime, she had no coat – so she simply opened up her purse/bag and poured all of the uneaten chips into it!! My husband said, ‘Uh, don’t pour that hot sauce in there, you will ruin the lining"!! So Mom decided from then on, she would carry baggies with her to take home goodies!! I remember praying, Oh God, help me to NEVER be like my mother!! Now, except for the eccentricities, I cannot imagine a better person to emulate than my own mother, in her courage, persistence and generosity of spirit….. © 2000 Dorothy Womack

WHEELCHAIR FOLLIES

During the time when Mom died, and shortly thereafter, I happened to break my ankle on five different occasions – I was so caught up in my grief that I did not even feel the pain during the visitation or the graveside services!! I wondered why on earth I kept falling down so much!! Finally, when I did go to the doctor, he said my ankle was broken in five places and promptly set it in a cast. That night, we needed groceries, so off my husband and I went to Wal-Mart. He felt I would be better off in a wheelchair, which they furnish, so I sat down reluctantly. Just as I suspected, he whizzed through the store like he was on fire and scared the wits out of me!! So I made him go about 3 mph for the rest of the aisles, and then we got to the checkout lane……OH BOY….Here I was, seated in the wheelchair, sharing it with 25# of cat food and 20# of cat litter. The wheelchair had a buggy attached, where there were 10# of potatoes and also 6 two liter drinks in it. Well, my husband proceeded to unload the buggy while I was still in it – First, out came the 20# of cat litter and 25# of cat food – then out came the 10# of potatoes. Then my greatest fear hit – The 6 two liters were at the very end of the attached cart and I did not weigh as much as they did!! Slowly, but surely, I began to notice that I was tipping forward and was gonna hit shelves with my BROKEN ANKLE!!! I started screaming and waving wildly, and my husband caught the buggy just before I hit the floor – Needless to say, I was a nervous wreck!! Then, he says for me to wait there while he goes to load up the car. So I did, I sat right there in the wheelchair, smack in the middle of the checkout lane!! I finally asked the man behind me to please move me to the nearest wall and he did so, confused and puzzled. It was some time after that I realized that I could have pushed myself across the floor!! It just never occurred to me that I could turn the wheels!!! I guess I was in a suspended state of grace/grief/confusion????? © 2000 Dorothy Womack

Don’t forget to check back from time to time – As I remember more shared experiences, I will add them to the site. Sometimes it does a weary mind and heavy heart good just to laugh, if only for a minute or two….

Here are my other sites, should you care to go look:

Here are some special sites of people who have brought great joy and laughter into my heart!! I hope you go visit them soon – Perhaps something they have to share with you may uplift your spirits and grant you peace of mind and renewed hope on your journey…..