Dec. 27, 2004/Mon:
Dec. 28, 2004/Tue:
Dec. 29, 2004/Wed:
Dec. 30, 2004/Thur:
Dec. 31, 2004/Fri:
January 1, 2005/Sat:
Decemeber 30, 2004/Thursday
Another Fuckless Night
Each year, the Sta. Lucia East Mall stages
a fireworks display on the thirtieth of December. This year is no
different.
I wasn’t in
the city last year. I was in the province so I have to see this one…
Well, I was bored. But then, fireworks is no good if you are not with
someone… unless of course, you are at the state of pitying yourself…
seeing a firework display alone would be the height and might be the thing
you need to finally put your plan on the way: killing yourself.
With
this in mind, I went to messaged Chris. Chris is the guy in “Way
to Heaven” (he was the one who lost his phone while swallowing
someone in a cab). He had been messaging me yesterday, asking for
Dennis’ number and how was my outing in Antipolo—I asked him the night
we met to come with me. I told him it was okay and that he could read
about it at my webpage (this webpage: “Single
Joins Groupie”). He then informed me that his ex was at that party.
I thought which one, then thought of Cham—mainly because he, too, was
from Pasig City Proper. He said no and told me it was Jhe, as in Jherome…
I don’t remember which one was Jhe or Jherome in the party… I’m not
even sure there was someone in the party that goes by that name. Anyhow, I
told him to just check out my webpage. Later that night—around eleven in
the evening—he asked me where I am and that he said he was in Megamall.
I told him I was home already and asked him back what he was doing in the
stripe. I assumed he was at the Megastripe since Megamall, the mall, is
already close by that hour.
He
didn’t reply anymore.
(I wonder what
happened to Cham—the nice guy who checked on me all the time, seeing to
it that I was doing fine? On the way home—we were together on the
jeep—he said he doesn’t know if he would be able to go home in…
somewhere down the Visayan Islands. I told him, if he wouldn’t be able
to go home, to contact me and we could spend Christmas together. He
didn’t contact me… I don’t know if it was because he was able to
went home or that I didn’t gave him my number… or that he doesn’t
want anything to do with me…?)
I
have his phone ring but still no answer. I also went to have a couple of
people’s phone ring and messaged Carlo but none of them answered. By
eight-thirty in the evening I thought I go online and find someone instead
there to join me see the fireworks display—hoping after it, we’ll
shag.
(By the way, I
woke up this morning with my phone registering a miss call. Guess who…
Pololoko! I checked what time he had my phone rang: 12:47 in the morning.
I am usually still kicking at that hour of the night. But for some reason,
last night, Mr. Sandman decided to come early! I think the call was
because he saw my webpage already. I asked him about it… he didn’t
reply.)
I
went first upstairs, to Netopia… the guy at the counter said that they
are to close by nine. That means I would only be able to be online for
less than thirty minutes. I thought of Brickroad…
(The guys whose
party I went to Antipolo hang there, at Brickroad. In the morning after, I
went to message K--- and thank him and the guys for having me at their
party and that I enjoyed myself. No reply. I messaged him and Neomatrix a
couple of times after, but still no reply. That was until I told K--- that I wrote
about the party and that it would be posted, asking him if it was
alright… he said he have to check with the boys (Boys!?) first. I told
him I can’t wait that long for I was due to update my webpage in two
days and explained to him that it was really nothing and my only concern
was the thing that happened in the bathroom. He told me to e-mail him the
story. So, I did—twice to be sure. I didn’t hear any objection from
him… I went to post the story: Single Joins Groupie. I informed him of
that too—that it was already posted—still there was nothing from him
or any of the guys.)
I
went to Base One, the Internet café at Brickroad… looked around and saw
no one I recognize. I went to log in at MIRC and Yahoo Messenger and
started cruising for a date. A couple of guys macked me but none of them
were available… at least not for watching the fireworks… they wanted
to do the fireworks themselves with me on private… oh, wait… there was
one. He was thirty years old and lives nearby. I gave him my digits but
he didn’t call nor message me.
After my
one-hour was up, I went to where the party was—the parking lot at the
back of the mall. A concert was on going… I went to stand amongst the
crowd—families… children playing around… lovers in tight embrace…
groups of friends… I was alone… Luke Mejares performing…
I
went to try have some number on my phone notice me again by having
their phone ring… messaged Carlo again… still no one heed my call… I
wonder…?
At
this state, I thought, I messaged K--- again. I told him I am at Sta.
Lucia and that if they are around and have problems with what I have
written, it would be a great time to confront me about it… no reply
still
The fireworks
started to wow us… It was beautiful… so beautiful that it’s worth
rejoicing about… I was
alone… amongst the crowd that belong to each other…
After the show,
my determination to have myself fuck or fuck someone mounted… I need
someone to hold me tight… cuss on me in sheer pleasure of my skin on
his! 
I
went back to Base One… log in…
Suddenly,
across me… a guy who I thought I know peered over the computer I was
in… then it occurred to me… it was K---. Surprised, I said hi
awkwardly… He then told me that the only problem they have with my story
is with me using their real names and that if I could change it… I told
him, I don’t think it would matter for anyway, they are not known. I
don’t mean to be snotty or something belittling. I just thought how many
people are there in the Metropolis that goes with the same name? (That is
the reason why I am not spelling the name through and through like it’s
a bad word edited out.) He said they are (known—I guess). I told him
that I would do something about it but not until next week… well the
next day would already be New Year’s Eve! Besides, I am not to keen in
granting the favor… Well, he had the chance… What, his phone ran out
of prepaid credits? Come on! Or is it: I’m not worth his time? Huh! His
boyfriend has man titts and he was shorter than me!
Okay,
that was mean…
I’m
not sorry about it.
Well,
I played nice all through out…
I won’t be sorry about it… not even if it meant not having sex again!!! Okay… cutie Jay could make me… hmmm…
January 2005