1.
Shaina,
my childhood friend, the only one who I stayed friends with, was pregnant
again. Her second and was to do again what she did with the first but this
time she asked for my help. She needed someone to be with her, the problem
was I thought I needed someone too. I called Tim; my closest friend back
then who, fortunately was fond of Shaina, and her back to Tim.
So we three, after
getting a hold of three potent tablets for ulcers without prescription
from a medical student we know and four bottles of beer, check in a cheap
Inn along Perez Boulevard. The lady receptionist looked at us
discerningly—a gay man, a seemingly straight man, and a woman with big
boobs. We three looked fairly student-ish, though no one would mistake us
as minors—we are all above eighteen after all and not specially with
Shaina’s big boob made much bigger with all the hormones caused by a
fetus growing in her womb. The discerning eyes were probably not because
of suspicion on our age being legal or not to such places—business was
slow, they were willing to let almost anything slide just to earn. It was,
I think, she thought we were a ridiculous threesome—sexy was the last
word that would come up into mind. But then, that was what was known done
there by two some couples. I don’t know if Shaina and Tim thought so
too, they act oblivious about my observation, but then so I did too.
300 hundred
bucks for a murder place, huh!
I don’t
know if I should be telling you this as you might get the idea and when
faced with the same problem, would solved it as we did, thus making us, or
at least me, accessory to the crime… but then in the spirit of good
story telling I would take the risk and bare everything in my conscience.
The secret
to have the potent drug for ulcer to work, really work, and not just do
damages to the fetus, thus when it comes out be a damaged baby, was to
first starve the would be mother. Shaina didn’t have a single bite the
whole day and the night before. She looked pale but with a strong
determination to rid herself with a problem. I have not detected a single
strand of hesitation on her and Tim was indifferent, going with the flow.
I imitated him, hiding my qualms.
She took
the three potent drugs for ulcer in her mouth and washed it with beer. Tim
handed me a beer and sit next to me in bed, our eyes on the TV. Tim before
that was looking for the channel that shows x-rated flicks as we heard
that motels and inns does have one. Not this one, Tim didn’t find any.
Shaina then went to lay down the bed, waiting for her stomach to ache, as
it would ache as soon as that potent drug start to eat the flesh of the
growing fetus in her womb… dissolving it… yes, killing it for it has a
life already contrary to the popular belief that it hasn’t has a life
yet.
Shaina
didn’t come to me the first time. She had her mom and sister for that.
Yes, it was her mom where she learned everything. Not that she was a bad
mother and that it was a bad family. I know them personally and it was
quite in the contrary. I know this for a fact. They were just working as a
family and support each other. I know for a fact that Shaina was a
headstrong woman and that she speak up her mind, make decision for
herself. I know for a fact that if ever she decided to go with the baby,
her family would be there to help and support her. I know for a fact that
they too got scared… I surely got scared to speak up what’s in my head
then, which caused me to be in that room of a cheap inn in Perez
Boulevard, that afternoon.
When
she told me, she presented me the option of helping her or not, or to how
far I am willing to help. I never felt pressure from her that if I say no,
I would be ending our friendship. I don’t think I would have mind even
loosing her friendship as I have Tim and a couple of more. That wasn’t
what I got scared off. I got scared of deciding for her. I know then what
she was to do and what she was soliciting my help to kill, that what we
are to rid off has a life. I know that. It would be murder. The worst part
was that we were to murder a defenseless innocent. I could have told her
so, but then I got scared. Scared that I might make her decide to keep the
baby. And babies, racing it, making sure that it would grow up a fine
member of the society and with a bright future, is a tough thing to do.
Our parents, no matter how hard they tried to do that, still ended
screwing us up, what more to an unwed teenage mother? Who knows what life
she would be into if she decided not to with my help? Have you heard the
saying that when you saved someone from death, you became responsible for
that someone’s life after, to whatever it may turn to? I had heard that
then, I have always believed in it … and I was only 19. I can’t be
responsible, that would be too big a responsibility.
And
perhaps, she shouldn’t have told me, asked for my help. But then that
blasted song says, “That’s what friends are for…” If that’s what
friends are for, I rather not have friends!
Now,
having said how I really felt, the fun part.
Shaina’s
belly started to ache. I don’t know how painful it was, but she pretty
made us aware that it wasn’t a walk in the park. It ached some more. Tim
and I just looked at her, clueless of what was there to do. Well, we
can’t call on anybody. I thought of holding her hand but for some reason
I didn’t. She said nothing, nor made sounds to share the pain with us.
We just saw her face spoke of the pain she was feeling. We also saw how
much she was fighting not to show it.
I
gulped on my beer. Finished it. “I think we need more beer.” Tim have
the impulse to laughed but didn’t. I wasn’t kidding.
Shaina
got up the bed. We didn’t move or said anything. She stood up and went
to the bathroom. We still didn’t move or said anything. She closed the
door. The TV was still on, so we went on watching. A few minutes have
passed. We were still watching TV when Shaina called for me from the
bathroom. There was nothing to her voice then, but it made me panic. I
jump off the bed and run to the bathroom door which I found unlock—which
was smart in the event that she passes out inside. And there she was
seated in the toilet, her pants down in her ankle, looking paler than she
was already. There was blood all over in the bathroom floor. It wasn’t a
big mess, just drops of blood, but I was petrified and horrible thing
started to run in my head as the reason why she called.
“It’s
over. I’m fine. I just need you to buy me some sanitary napkins, I
forgot to bring.” She said. But my mind malfunctioned, perhaps because
it was moving to fast, that all I heard was that she needed sanitary
napkins and over reacted. “I am buying no sanitary napkins!” I
snapped, “There’s no way you could let me buy a sanitary napkin! You
should have bought a girl here instead and not me!” All through out my
eyes weren’t on her; it was on the drops of blood all over the room.
“If
I had known you’d be squeamish about it, I would have,” she snapped
back at me, “and why didn’t you get a girl instead of Tim?”
“I
bought Tim not for you and I am not being squeamish.”
“Then
why can’t you take your eyes off the blood?”
“Shut
up!” Tim came from the back.
I
back off, mainly because I can’t think of a lie why I can’t take my
eyes off the drops of blood. I can’t say to her I was beyond squeamish.
It was guilt.
Tim
took off to buy the sanitary napkin for Shaina. Before he disappeared
behind the door, he took a hard look at me. I looked back at him, clueless
to what I have done to deserve such hard look. “Just shut up,” he
said, giving up on me.
I
know… I should have shut up. It was too late already.
Tim
got back with a pack of sanitary napkins and a couple of beers more. He
handed me one as Shaina go with her business with the napkins. The TV was
still on but it was already neglected. He light a cigarette, offered me a
stick. When I declined, he insisted lightening it for me.
“What
was that all about?” he finally asked.
“Nothing.”
“It
wasn’t the blood on the floor,” he said, “I’m quite sure of
that.” And the reason he was sure was because he saw me handle blood
when one of our friends accidentally shot him self. He knew I could handle
as much horror.
I
didn’t answer.
“I
am to order room service,” he said and went to go to the phone. I guess
he really don’t want to hear it.