3.
Shaina and I became friends
because they live next door from us, that and because we went to the same
private school in Dagupan, unlike the other kids in the street we played
with then. They all went to the public school just across the street from
our houses—Calasiao Central Elementary School, which would have been more
practical since it’s just across the street and that it’s free. But
then, if I was sent there instead of the private school I attended in
Dagupan, I bet I wouldn’t just be a simple dyslexic, but a dyslexic who
can’t speak English. That’s what made my alma mater one of the best
schools not only in the fair city of Dagupan or the province Pangasinan but Northern
Luzon.
My alma mater, which wished
not to be identified as where I went no matter how I promised to make them
look good, was an English speaking school and that they specialize on
producing excellent English speaking people. They didn’t do well on me,
perhaps the biggest reason they wished not be identified. But it could have
been worst, you know.
It wasn’t the school’s
fault why I turned stupid. Neither was mine. Perhaps it could be argued that
it was my folk’s, if ever so dyslexia is hereditary. Is it? I have not
done much reading about my condition. I read some, but I only got to the
part where it said that there isn’t any cure for it. Well, I think that
was all I need to know. What was there to know more about? How many others
are there like me? Why would I want to know that, to be in their company? I
also don’t think I need to know how I got it. What for? So, that I would
have someone to blame. What would I get from that? I have it and had screwed
me good already.
How it screwed me?
Dyslexia, to those who
don’t know, is a condition where one who has it is unable to identify
letters and its corresponding sounds does affecting his ability to read and
comprehend words. There was no known treatment to such condition, at least
not yet. But it could be help, encase you are wondering how am I able to
write this.
I don’t know how severe or
mild my dyslexia but I was able to figure how to get around it. I got around
it by memorizing how a word looks like—how a word written looks like.
It’s this way: if you ask me to spell a certain word, instead of me trying
to spell it by trying to pay attention on the sound, I try to recall how
I’ve seen it written. At least that was before, now it’s more automatic
although from time to time I still commit the quirks. Thank God there’s
spelling check in (Microsoft) Word!
I don’t know if learning
institutions are now aware to the condition already, that such condition
exist, but during my time they weren’t and I was simply past as stupid.
And at that point of my life, I did believe I was stupid. Imagine not being
able to spell words, even easy words. It was frustrating and that it
resulted to low self esteem.
But now, I know better. It
may not be much but I do know more than before.
Back to the story, Shaina and
I are friends for reason that we were neighbors and went to the same school.
It’s not a question if whether we liked each other, enjoy the same thing,
or believe in the same thing… we became friends simply because of
geography. If it was otherwise… well… I don’t know. There are hundreds
and thousands possible circumstances. I guess, at least one is bound to have
lead to what we were. But I think it’s more likely that we won’t be
interested hanging out together.
Truth to be told, I think we
were just simply at the same place at the same time. That we have no better choice but to like each other, learn
to live and accept each other’s fault, and be there. Perhaps, we had
influence one another one way or another during those times we hang out
together a lot but then one couldn’t be influence unless that one consents
it.
And our friendship, I don’t
know about the others, the secret to it was that we didn’t rely on each
other. We didn’t come to each other with our problems with the hope that I
would give her the answer. We didn’t tell things to each other to seek
approval. We go to each other with answers already in our hands. We tell
each other things simply because we want to. Shaina didn’t go to me to ask
me what do I think she should do with her baby problem. She had already made
up her mind on what to do with it. She didn’t come to me to know if I
approve with her decision not to keep the baby. She simply needed me to come
with her encase something goes wrong. That was how our friendship was. We
respect each other’s decision, no matter how stupid we thought it was and
so against what we believed in. We were friends simply because of company
and for each other’s skill.
I did have the option to back
off; I know that Shaina won’t take that against me specially if I could
suggest someone else like Tim. But I didn’t.
I must admit I was a little
curious… okay, a lot, I was really curious. I thought she would do it
anyway. I must as well come and see how was it really. It was pretty
surreal!