5.
Contrary
to popular belief, I wasn’t having any sex then. Everybody who doesn’t
belong to my inner circle of friends, thought I was having so much action
basing on how wonderfully gorgeous I was then—then, meaning before. I
don’t know what happened to me.
My
close friends knew I wasn’t getting any. They were encouraging me for
anyway that was how I was thought of by most so no matter how I project
myself as wholesome as I could be, I was still seen as a self righteous
hypocrite. I know so and wanted to take their advise. The problem, which I
thought was kind of funny, was that I don’t feel any carnal desire for my
objects of affection. I don’t know why but I can’t even bring myself to
fantasize being in bed with any of them (should I clarify that when I say
objects of affection or use the plural pronoun, I don’t mean I have more
than one at the same time, I mean one after the other). I just don’t for
some reason. I don’t even know if it was natural that it was so in my case
even to this date.
Well,
I was still young then. Too young that I was still a strong believer of love
and that sex should only be done with love or for love. So even if there
were others I know who would like to sleep with me, I know I don’t even
have to lift a finger to get laid, I didn’t. I was that dead gorgeous.
“So
how do you managed on those cold nights…” a friend asked, “how many
times do you masturbate?”
“I’m
not a very sexual person.”
Clearly
that’s a lie.