Nan's Collection

POEMS

~written with love and humor~

Now before we get to the poetry, It might be a good idea for me to tell you a little story:
At age four I embarassed my mother,on the evening she was entertaining her"Music Club"by ascending the staircase to inform the large group there was a BEDBUG,on my bed!!
My mortified mother grabbed a couple of her guests and dragged them up the steps,with her,to dispel,I would assume,any further rumors,as she knew I did not even know what a bedbug was!! The bug was a Lady bug,but it WAS on my bed and that`s how my four year old mind rationalized....it was a bug and it was on my bed so therefore it WAS a bed--bug!!
They tried,very hard,to send me off to boarding school,but no one would take me.
My imagination has grown~but I do "see" things just a bit differently than others.That is why I enjoy writing these poems so much!
The first entry was inspired by a joke.
PAPER COWBOY'S FUNERAL
We are here to say farewell to Paper Cowboy,
who rode into town,dressed all in paper,from his head to his feet.Paper hat,paper shirt,paper jeans,paper boots and paper gun,but,Paper, Cowboy was on the run!"
Seems some cattle had been stolen`, and "Paper,"in the dough was rollin`!! Lots O cash,he was a holdin`!!!!
Now,Paper,at one time,had it all... Starred in movies,had a ball !! You may remember him,in "Paper Chase," Paper and his horse,"Erase," Were big,all over the place!!
Then fame and fortune got in the way... and drinkin`took up most his day. Not wine or whiskey,as you`d most think, but the dreaded, jet black,nasty INK!!!!
Well,"Page," his lovely paper doll could not take the strife,and though she,dearly,loved him... She refused to become his wife.
Page,soon stopped her flirting and winking, as more of the ink he kept drinking.
Was then,the terrible tradgedy struck... and the whole town just ran amuck!! As when into the saloon he went for his ink, the mean,old sherrif got him,before he could blink!! Knocking,plum over,his black,inky drink.
Next a paper punch,to his head, and from a staple gun,he was shot full of lead! The whole town was really bustlin,... when the sherrif said "Paper" was RUSTLIN`!!
You should have seen his casket... was a sight ta behold!! All covered in paper mache... the kind that don`t mold!!
His days as a paper hanger were gone... The burley old sherrif had done him,so wrong!! He`d wanted ta be strung up,on a muslin tree, just to show his paper doll how brave he could be!
But before he was a laid ta rest in the ground, for all the paper flowers,his doll thanked the town,and,also,the saloon gal,fer a singin`... "It Was Only A Paper Moon," (hangin`over a muslin tree.) For that was the way he desired it ta be...
Also,placed in the casket,with love... a bottle of ink,a cigar,and an old worn glove.
Why,oh why,did it end,so bad?!?! You`d been so successful,as a young lad!! Farewell,Paper Cowboy... It`s the end of the line.
Your friends are,now,drinkin ink, and I`m drinking wine!!
By Nan ^o-o^ (Mary Anne) June 27,1998
I HOPE that this next poem does not come off as being racially insensitive,as I have,NEVER,been predjudiced,toward ANY race,at ANY time,in my life,and do not condone it,BUT I watched the WHOLE trial,day after day,as I was ill,and had nothing better to do...no web,at the time!! And I became consumed,in it!!!! And,for a time,all one would hear,on tv,or read about,and,even,black comedians,were,joking,around,with it,SO,I thought it would be okay,but I would hate,for anyone to think,I`m a bigot,because of it.

Court Potato~A Satire
I be in court evera day at nine,
To hear dem lawmen bait de line!!
An der sit our bro,in him Armani suit.
mmmm if he not look angelic an cute!!
In regal style him shoe do shine,
Oh! dat bro.....he sho look fine!!
Dat O.J. his manner be so good!......
Neva could he be no kinda hood!!
O.J. love dat gal,with all he might!
He had to beat her 'cause she white!
Po O.J. he be lookin SAD................
That Marsha Clark! She talk SO bad!!
Accusin O.J.!! of da deed!!
Make yo wonda jist WHO on speed!!
AND Kato!!yo nuthin but O.J.s boy....so WHY yo ack so cute an coy?!?!
Git a life!! Ack like yo really care!! Show some respec and ...WASH dat hair!
Now brother Darden...Yo black,not white!
Christopher Darden! Git right outta mah SIGHT!!
Then be brother Cochran..."Johnnie",he name.
He VERA upset when O.J. dey blame!!
AN F Lee whitey!! Do he REALLY feel de same????
Spookey Judge Ito!! HE be SO strange!
He expression...it don`t neva change!!
He be so stern faced,evera day!!
Is he gonna make O.J. PAY?!?!
He don`t like nobody! It easy to see!
I Oh so glad he not lookin at me!!
Dem steely eye...him little go-tee......
Ain`t nobody he gonna wanna set free!!
So Po O.J....wipe off dat smile...'cause yo ain`t goin golfin,fo quite awhile!!
But don`t yo worra none! O.J.!!
De sisters on de jury gonna have de last say!!!! And we don`t know nuthin ´bout no DNA!!
So it`ll be one more touchdown, With a teams strategic play.
There`ll be NO deliberation.................. And absolutely NO delay!!
An when yo play dat golf,agin............... An yo can`t seem to score,
Don`t git mad an in a snit!!
Simply say....De GLOVE don't fit!!
~By Mary Anne Jones (1995)
Saga of Rosa and Judge Ito
Whatever happened to Rosa Tamale?!
Rosa,the witness,so sweet and so jolly!
Sure do miss her,on the stand...
Looking so mad and waving her hand.
"I no remember!!" Rosa would say,
"so why you gonna make me stay?!"
Rosa hates the media,SO!
and always tells them where to go!
"Git outta my life,an quit lookin`at me!!"
"I can go no place,you don`t see!!!!"
"I tol you I saw the #%!%$#!% bronco!!" an,now,I`m leavin` this place,pronto!!!!
"My ticket`s been bought,an I`m on my way!"
"For sure I`m going on the plane...today!!!!" But judge Ito kept telling Rosa she`d have to stay!!
So Rosa Tamale got madder and madder!!
and the public,for Rosa,felt sadder and sadder.
Some,even sent Rosa a gift,
but nothing helped to mend the rift!
So finally judge Ito let her go...
and Rosa Tamale,I miss you,so!
I can just see you,now flying away,on that plane and thumbing your nose at...what`s his name?!
Though you are,finally,back,where you long to be,you are,really,a curious memory...
and I wonder if you`re still the same... or if it`s gone to your head...
all his new found fame!!
~Nan~ (Mary Anne) 1995

CUTE??Cookies!PULeeeeZ!!
I wish Keeblers would not make their cookies into ELVES!!
`Cause I like to soak my cookies when I take them off the shelves.
And it makes me oh so sad to drown them in a drink...
then bite their little heads off before they even blink!!
There`s also animal crackers shut up inside a box!!
and sometimes stuffed into childrens Christmas sox.
Like Noahs ark they come in two`s or sometimes three.
But I quickly set ALL of them FREE!!
Now Lady-fingers make me queasy!!
The thought of THEM makes me quite uneasy!!
I`ll have plain oatmeal,peanut butter or chocolate chip...
Any one of these will better suit my lip.
And when it comes to cake...I`d NEVER eat Sara Lee,for GOODNESS sake!!
Nor Little Debbie or SWEET Suzy Q.!!
How COULD I ?!?! How could YOU?!?!
My favorite cheese won`t allow me to even take one bite!!`cause they had to name it Jack.....
And it doesn`t seem just right!!
When it comes to sausage...they named IT LITTLE OSCAR!!!!
so guess I`ll have to be content with plain old fish and lobster!!
At MacDonalds they have BIG MAC!!
and HE`S eaten up with frenchfries!! AFTER they PULL him from his nice warm SACK!!
Please let`s don`t forget the peanut butter!
STICK to Jiff or any other...
But never ever eat Peter Pan... He might be someone`s BROTHER!!
For breakfast don`t eat Captain Crunch!!Not for breakfast dinner OR for lunch!!
On the CAPTAIN...how COULD you munch?!?!
Now just for fun...YOU think of a bunch!!
NAN - Mary Anne : > )
NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT ONE!
You need not buy expensive perfume and cologne!
Just carry a magazine with you when you leave home!
One day you can have the scent of"Red Door".
The choice is yours as there are many more!
Page after page of lovely scents!!
To please the ladies and the gents!!
Today I am carrying"Redbook" I smell so good!!...don`t care how I look!
One day a gentleman asked what I was wearing....I aswered"Ladies Home Journal"
After that he couldn`t quit staring!!
He looked at me funny...like I had no brain!!
Or perhaps he even thought me...insane!
So THEN I said "To smell as good as I a magazine is all you need to buy!
Inside you`ll even find"Sand & Sable" and since I`m going to the Beach...that`s the one for which I`ll reach. Soon as I take it off the table...
I`ll smell as good as anyone is able!!
And when the sun has turned to dusk
I might even smell like"Vanilla Musk"
But after my shower and I`m tucked in bed for the night in sheets so very fresh and white... I`ll feel just like a million
when another magazine I open and there`s the scent of sweet"White Linen"!!
Now with all my magazines on file.......... I should smell GREAT for QUITE AWHILE!!
Mary Anne Chipman Jones

INTROSPECT
Birds perching Soul searching Mouse nibbling Cheese dribbling Child scribbling Kicking sibling Teens mingling Pockets jingling Phone ringing Beeper dinging Radio singing Back breaking Head aching HELPPPPPP!!

~by Nan~MaryAnne Jones
Heavenly Dollhouse

One summer evening,before it was dark sitting outside,listening to a meadowlark
I laid back my head with my eyes to the sky, where a beautiful blue was the background... for white billowy clouds,so pretty and high... when all of a sudden I thought,to myself...
I am in Gods ENORMOUS dollhouse,and the roof is the SKY!!
All of a sudden I felt VERY small,as the top of Gods
dollhouse was so massive and tall!!
I really felt like a tiny elf
and not at all like my regular self!
Please try it sometime and you will see... exactly what it felt like to me.
I could imagine Gods presence,as He`d planned his dwellings and people,
to even the church down the street with it`s tall and stately steeple,which now looked small,just like the people.
Another thought then entered my mind
If I wanted out...no way could I find!!
Looking to each side of the earth,front and back I was there to stay and that was just that!!
As a little girls dolls are placed in her dollhouse to stay...
we are in GOD'S dollhouse day after day and none can leave by their own power...
until a force much bigger decides the date and the hour.
Nan (Mary Anne Chipman Jones) June 1995

HELP!
You`re on the net and you`ll always be No time to eat,or sleep,or...
The doorbell can ring,and so will your phone, wishing they all would just leave you,alone!, and more often than not you pretend you`re not home!
It`s now your fate
Your life`s on hold,
and you`ll die,in front of it when you`re old.
With the remote in your hand, and a big smile,on your face, just knowing,at least,you had the net at your place!
There`ll be a message,to loved ones,typed on the screen,... saying "Please e-mail me in heaven,as that`s where I`ll be... and my addy is angel@dotnetwebtv." !!

Nan ^<>-<>^ (1998)
A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

A SPECIAL REQUEST
A TRIBUTE TO BILL
A Plea
MARTHA
All poetry on this page was written by and is the property of NAN ^O-O^
MaryAnne Chipman Jones

Email Nan Here
Website designed to the specifications of the author by "JRS"