Just before giving a lavish party at his estate, a tycoon had his swimming pool filled with poisonous snakes. He called the guets together and announced, "To anyone brave enough to swim across this pool, I will give the choice of a thousand hectares of my oil fields, 10,000 head of cattle or my daughter's hand in marriage."
No sooner were his words spoken than a young man plunged in swam across the pool and climed out - unscatched but breathless. "Congratulations!" the tycoon greeted him. "Do you want my oil fields?"
"No!" gasped the guest.
"The 10,000 head of cattle?"
"No!" the young man shouted.
"Well, how about my daughter's - - - "
"No!"
"You must want something," said the puzzled host.
"I just want to know the name of the guy who pushed me in!" - Hank Lee

In the days before smoking sections on planes, a jet passenger started to light a cigar when the stewardess informed him that cigar smoking was not allowed, unless it was alright with other passengers in the immediate area .
"Do you object to his smoking?" she asked the woman seated next to the man.
"I absolutely detest cigars," was the stony reply.
The stewardess then spoke to a young man near the front of the cabin and came back to report that he didn't mind sitting next to a cigar smoker.
As the smoker walked forward, his former seatmate turned to the stewardess and confided, "I've been married to that man for 30 years - and I still can't stand his awful cigars!" - Dan Bennett

One Friday afternoon, a handsome yound man and a young woman walkid into a jewellery store. "We'd like to look at some of your diamond necklaces," he said. The jeweller brought out his stock and after careful consideration the young man selected a magnificient necklace. "We're going out of town for the weekend," he said to the jeweller, "so I'll be back to pick it up on Monday. That will give you time to check my credit." The couple then left the store.
The jeweller checked the credit card and discovered that the young man had only $12 to his name. So on Monday morning when the prospective customer returned to the store, the owner started to explain the situation. "Oh, that's all right," said the young fellow. "I didn't expect to get the necklace. I just wanted to thank you for helping me have a really wonderful weekend - J.D.

Question: How can you tell when a plane is about to experience turbulence?
Answer: The flight attendent is serving coffee - Joey Addams

Listening to world heavy-weight boxing champion Joe Frazier sing, an onlooker scoffed, "Who told him he could sing?"
Actress Mitzi Gaynor's answer: "Who's going to tell him he can't?"- Earl Wilson

copyright © Benoy Thapa, Darjeeling, India - 2001