A woman went into a department store to buy some perfume. She explained to the salesperson that she wanted to arouse the interest of a youg man she recently met, and she thought a new perfume might help. "But nothing over $20 an ounce," she added. "I want it to be a fair fight - Joe Ryan

For years the sideshow's strong man had awed crowds by squeezing a lemon dry, then offering Rs 18,00 to anybody who could get another drop out of it. Nobody paid much attention when a wispy little man in one audience dared to challenge him.
The strong man first squeezed the lemon until it was little more than pulp, then handed it to the little man - who not only squeezed out another drop but got almost a saucerful of juice. "Amazing!" the strong man conceded. "What kind of work do you do?"
"I'm an Income Tax Inspector," the little man replied. - N.K.

Jones had this marvellous horse. "Each morning," he would tell his friends at his club, "that horse of mine goes to the dairy and gets fresh milk for my breakfast. Then he goes to the news-stand for my paper. When I'm ready for work, the horse takes me to the office. And when its time to leave he's waiting outside!"
Smith was much impressed by all this, and made an offer of $100 for the horse. Jones declined, saying the figure was too low. Smith then offerd $1,000 and Jones grabbed it.
For a week Jones didn't show up at the club. When he finally returned, he heard Smith complaining about how bad the horse was, how he did nothing but eat and sleep. That's when Jones said, "You know, if you keep talking about the horse like that, you'll never sell him." - J.P.B.

US Senator Abraham Ribicoff tells about attending a dinner in honour of Arizona's famous citizen John fulton, then 80 years old. Speaker after speaker got up and paid tribute to Fulton as the state's greatest banker, rancher real-estate man and manufacturer. All of them mentioned how Fulton had come to Phoenix 60 years earlier, barefoot, in tattered clothes, with nothing but a haversack on his back.
Ribicoff couldn't get that image out of his mind. So, after the ceremonies, he went up to Fulton and asked, "Sir, what did you have in the haversack on your back?"
Fulton drew deeply on a cigar, blew some smoke in Ribicoff's face and replied. "Two million dollars in cash."- N.M.

Length of residence outside the country does not dilute Scottish blood, I learned while eating breakfast with my uncle in a restuarant. After reading the menu and complaining bitterly about the high prices, he ordered two fried eggs.
Knowing he despised egges cooked this way, I asked why he hadn't ordered his usual scrambled. "At this price," he replied, "I want to be able to count them!" - J.E.L.R.

copyright © Benoy Thapa, Darjeeling, India - 2001