Table of Contents
Frank B. Finite (a "true" atheist)
The Blind Fools Guest Entry Log
Here's another back woods relative. I'm not exactly sure how we're related, but I don't think that I really want to know. His name is Jeb.
Anyway, his big news was that he got engaged the previous weekend. Everyone was excited until they met his fiance.
Meet the fiance. She's from Pakistan and her name was Apeamandala or something like that.
This did not go over well with the family, especially when she let it slip out that she was indeed a mail-order bride.
When asked to defend himself on marrying someone outside his own race, Jeb just told them that he was spreading his genes for the sake of diversity.
Oh yeah, and that he loved her too.
This is little Jimmy. He's pouting because he had to sit in the corner for time-out.
His crime? Asking his Uncle Jeb how much the shipping and handling charges were for his new mail-order bride.
This is little Jimmy an hour later doing an impression of his Uncle Jeb's new mail-order bride. I personally found it hilarious. I think the kid's gonna make it big some day.
He was sentenced to thirty minutes time-out as well as losing dessert privileges.
Here's another relative who may make it big some day. It's Benny, future comedian/magician.
Here he tricks a frightened cousin into believing that he coughed up his own lung and is going to pop it.
Benny later confessed to "stirring up" the rabbit prior to "Consul the Magnificent's" performance - which may have included electrical shock.
When asked why he just replied, "I didn't want the competition around."
You gotta admire ambition like that.
Here is the antithesis of ambition. It's Sally and she's on the phone gossiping with one of her girlfriends.
This is all she did all day long - talk, talk, talk. Uncle Leo just about flipped his wig when he found out it was long distance.
When asked to get off the phone, this disrespectful little preteen gave him some lip and made a rude gesture (notice the suggestive way in which she grabbed her pants).
Doesn't this just make you sick. Evolved primates do this kind of thing, out of common courtesy, in private. But not MY family!
Oh no, PDA's are a common occurrence in the Miko clan, especially when liquor is involved. It hasn't been determined whether these two are cousins or not.
And don't think that I'm just being bitter because I haven't found that special someone. Because I'm not bitter - not at all.
Also, by the way, that rumor going around saying I talked to Jeb about mail-order brides is just that - a rumor. So you can stop spreading it right now.
Here is my grandmother and baby sister back at my parent's house later that evening after the reunion.
Grammy is giving Mika some sweets right before bed time. I love my sister, but she is spoiled rotten to the core.
I never got sweets like that! But I'm not bitter. Really I'm not because I get to do other "fun" things.
Here I am playing a game with my folks late into the evening (I'm the one in the middle - don't I just looked thrilled).
My parents are old. They're supposed to go to bed early. I wanted to go to bed early. But I didn't get to go to bed early.
And it was at this exact time that Swami was getting his little hairless rump lost out in the jungle. So I had to get up early and help look for him.
If the truth be known, I found a tall bushy tree to climb and go back to sleep in. We coulda found him earlier, but you gotta have your priorities.
You gots to look out for number one. And number one comes first. If it's gonna be survival of the fittest, then I'm gonna need my beauty sleep.
And it's obvious that most of my family haven't slept for a very very long time - if you get my drift. If they would just move to the city they would evolve some and get better looking - like me.
Well, that just about wraps up the Miko family tour. I hope you enjoyed it because I surely didn't!
~ Miko