Table of Contents
Frank B. Finite (a "true" atheist)
The Blind Fools Guest Entry Log
Amazing Transitional Animals
SPECIAL EDITION
II
The Fleaquel
The Fleaquel
Darwin said that we should find millions of transitional fossils to support the theory of evolution.
And though we haven't come across any yet, we know it is just a matter of time before we do. Because given enough time, anything can happen (i.e., something from nothing, order from chaos via random chance, evolution, etc. and etc.).
So we have taken the liberty of "reconstructing" what these transitional animals were probably like.
We snookered a bunch of students from the local art school to help us out pro-bono. Now it should be cautioned that these aspiring artists may have pushed their creative license in order to beef up their portfolio and make a name for themselves.
Then we hood-winked a bunch of natural science students from the local junior college to give us a brief synopsis of how these animals probably lived. And they probably took some creative licenses too.
Enjoy the tour . . .
Lower Primate-to-Man Transitionary Species
In this edition we'll explore more of the famed "missing links" of lower animal to human animal transitions just like in Issue Six.
You will find that these manimals are not as humanly refined as the previous ones. In fact, they are sort of opposite.
The last issue's manimals had mostly a human body with a lower primate's head. These have primarily a lower primates's body with human characteristics popping up in the cranial/facial regions.
Since this stuff just happens randomly, it is not a stretch that these two differing manimal types could have evolved simultaneously (or even at the same time).
They were just stuck in different parts of the jungle where they had different external stimuli bombarding their DNA.
Here we have an earlier female manimal. You can see some human-like characteristics just starting to evolve.
Notice the ears. They are human in nature, but it will take a million years or so to lose all that fur/hair behind them. When this happens, they will lay back into a more normal position on the sides.
The mouth is more evolved as well. The teeth are stronger and straighter. They are also whiter. Apparently it is at this point that we learned to floss.
Also notice there is a more genuine smile to the expression - doesn't it just warm your heart?!
Here we have another manimal whose human characteristics have just begun to flower.
Again notice the almost full expression of emotion in the face. Our crack team of emotionologists have determined that he is either angry or sad about something.
Notice the he is sporting a flat-top hair style. We speculate that there may be longer hair in the back thus producing the first ever Mullet.
Maybe this is what he is sad/mad about.
Here is yet another early manimal. The only evolved features seem to be the eyes, but there IS something else - the brain.
Nope, you can't see it but it is somewhat human in intelligence. Here it appears the subject is working out a system of math which would entail the "counting" of objects.
He is probably contemplating how many fingers and toes - well, fingers - that he has on his hands and feet.
Ah yes, finally some distinct human characteristics emerging. This is obviously an older manimal judging by its bushy gray eyebrows.
Can't you just see the intelligence level ingrained in the facial expression - quiet yet commanding.
You may notice a yellow glow from above, but don't let this fool you into believing that this is really an angel instead of a manimal. We don't believe in such nonsense.
No wait, we really can't have beliefs. We retract the above statement and amend it to be, "We know for a fact that science has disproved the existence of angels."
There, that's better.
From: thatscomedy.com
Here's a baby manimal cub depicted with a full-sized human (see Frank's commentary) to give a sense of scale. Obviously humans and manimals didn't live at the same time.
Sadly there were some manimals that seemed to revert back to their more primal nature. Like this one for instance.
He was a school drop-out and never held down a regular job. All he did was root around for fermented fruits to ingest.
Was occasionally seen at path corners panhandling for rotten fruit bits. Notice that his full head of hair and teeth have fallen out due to neglect and poor nutrition.
But even with all of this going against him, this little hobo would always offer unsolicited advice and wisdom so that you too could someday be as successful as he.
This is the banana-fish. It was the perfect manimal staple and became their main diet as primates made the transition to more of a full-time carnivore.
But harvesting them was a bit tedious as the banana-fish only grew on underwater trees.