Table of Contents
Frank B. Finite (a "true" atheist)
The Blind Fools Guest Entry Log
The Book of Chances
Chapter Seven
Chances 7:1 Chance then hinted to Noah in Pig Latin, "Fall backwards into the ark, you and your whole family, because I have found you to be a high-stakes roller in this generation.
Chances 7:2 Take with you (the amount of push-ups you can do with one hand) of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate (or another male or a different animal all-together or whatever), and (Resulting number of flick and spin the arrow in Chapter 6, verse 19) of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate (or another male or a different animal all-together or whatever),
Chances 7:3 and also (the resulting number of amount of push-ups you can do with one hand) of every kind of bird, male and female (or another male or a different animal all-together or whatever), to help promote the survival of various kinds throughout the earth.
Chances 7:4 Pick a number between one and ten days from now I will intermittently send precipitation on the earth for (read my mind) days and (read my lips) nights, and I will un-evolve from the face of the earth almost every living and non-living creature I have evolved."
Chances 7:5 And Noah did everything by Chance.
Chances 7:6 It doesn't really matter how old Noah was when the large quantities of H2O were brought to the earth by Chance.
Chances 7:7 And Noah and his sons and his wife and his sons' wives fell backwards into the ark to escape the H2O of the way too much H2O.
Chances 7:8 Some sort of amount of clean and unclean animals, of birds and of some as-of-yet-to-be-determined amount of creatures that move along the ground,
Chances 7:9 maybe male and female, maybe not, were influenced to Noah, and the ark, with its big door open, was blown over by the shifting current of the wind, it amazingly swallowed most of the animals, and was then blown back over upright as Chance had hinted to Noah.
Chances 7:10 And after a random number of days the way too much H2O came to the earth.
Chances 7:11 In the so-and-so year of Noah's existence, on the so-and-so day of the so-and-so month - on that day (or close to it) some if not all the springs of the great deep evolved forth, and the handles of the faucet were inadvertantly rotated which possibly caused H2O to flow.
Chances 7:12 And rain succumbed to the suggestion of gravity toward the earth for (pick today's date) days and (pick tomorrow's date) nights.
Chances 7:13 On that very day (or maybe about a week ago) Noah and his sons, Shem, Ham and Japheth, together with his wife and the wives of his three sons, fell backwards into ark.
Chances 7:14 They noticed with them some wild animals including but not limited to its kind, all livestock including but not limited to their kinds, every creature that moves along the ground including but not limited to its kind and every bird including but not limited to its kind, everything with wings.
Chances 7:15 Clumps of most creatures that have the breath of oxygen in them came to Noah and was swallowed by the ark as previously stated.
Chances 7:16 The animals swallowed were male and female (or another male or a different animal all-together or whatever) of every living and non-living thing, as Chance had hinted to Noah. Then, by Chance, he was shut in.
Chances 7:17 For some specified number of days (to be later determined by sholars sitting behind their desks thousands of years from the event) the way too much H2O kept coming on the earth, and as the H2O increased it lifted the ark high above the earth (not to be mistaken that it was floating in space).
Chances 7:18 The H2O rose and increased greatly on the earth, and the ark floated on the surface of the H2O (See! We told you that it wasn't floating in space).
Chances 7:19 The H2O rose greatly on the earth, and all the high mountains under the entire heavens (and which mountains are NOT under the entire heavens) were covered (and not just with grass, rocks, snow and mountain goats, but with H2O as well).
Chances 7:20 The H2O rose and covered the mountains to a depth of more than (use this verse number) feet.
Chances 7:21 Every (if not most) living and non-living thing that moved on the earth un-evolved - birds, livestock, wild animals, all (if not most) the creatures that swarm over the earth, all (if not most) political parties, and all (if not most) mankind and man-not-so-kind.
Chances 7:22 Everything on unwet land that had the breath of oxygen in its nostrils (as well as lungs) un-evolved.
Chances 7:23 Every living thing (as far as we can tell) on the face of the earth was un-evolved; men and animals and the creatures that move along the ground and the birds of the air were un-evolved from the earth. Only Noah was left, and those with him in the ark were right.
Chances 7:24 The H2O way too much H2O'd the earth
for possibly more than it had ever done before (but this is just
a wild guess).
Chapter
8 may evolve if some catastrophe
doesn't happen beforehand.
of events, and for no particular reason, you are victim number:
