I'm 13 years old and my parents won't let me smoke. All my friends do and I want to also. My dad has grounded me and promised me a good spanking if he ever caught me smoking again, what a joke, i'm too old for a spanking!! So goody-goody how do i get my dad to see things my way.

Brother, for once you're making me do something that I really don't like to do too often - agree with parents. (gasp!) Have you thought about why your parents don't want you to smoke? Kids who start smoking are more likely to get lower grades in school, have a lower self image, and progress to alcohol and illegal drugs.

But you are not your parents! You have your own decision to make!

Regardless of what pointless punishments may be inflicted upon you by your parents, you will find a way to smoke if you really want to. You are your own person now, and you have a decision to make for yourself. Paul wrote that "your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?" in I Corinthians 6:19. Do you want Jesus to live in a poorly ventilated, unhealthy, smelly, puking, dizzy, filthy building? Or something a bit more worthy of His Glory?

Have you actually talked to your family about this? Sit down with your parents at a "neutral time" when you know that they won't be angry, or haven't just been fighting, or aren't trying to do something. This is not a good dinner subject, either. Find a time when you can talk to both of your parents at once, and tell them everything you wrote here.

Regardless of what happens in those talks, you have to stay where you are. Even if leaving looks easier, there are a few problems with that plan. First of all it is illegal, and second, it will cause you to appear immature to your parents and everyone else involved. You need to stay where you are at least for the rest of your seventeenth year, and tough it out if you can. Freedom and adulthood are just around the corner, don't turn back now!

1) Smoking, like excessive drinking or partying, self-mutilation, perpetuation of a poor self-image, unnecessary risk-taking, or any other potentially harmful behaviour, is a sin. If the body is the temple of the Lord, then anything done to harm it is sin.

2) This is totally a question of the mind. The Bible says that "if anyone looks at another lustfully he has committed adultery with that person in his own heart." While a release of sexual tension is necessary (God made us sexual creatures, remember) if you need the thought of another person (and yes, those *are* people on those pages and on the other side of this screen) to, um, help you along, *that* is sin.

While it is impossible to lose God's Salvation and become "unsaved," it is very easy to be "backslidden." Many people seem to think that sins of a sexual nature, more so those of a homosexual nature, are worse sins than any others. While they result in worse consequences, as spoken of in the last parts of I Corinthians 6, no sin is actually worse in God's eyes than any other: "if anyone keeps the whole law, yet forsakes one part, he is guilty of all." So any time I want to kill my professor, every time you disrespect your parents, every time I pass on a rumor, every day you forget to pray, everytime anyone looks down on these "vile sinners" (repeat after me: "hypocrite"), we all become just as bad as mister Manson (either one). So while he continues in sin, all you can do is love him and be a friend regardless. Tell him when necessary that neither you nor God agree with his lifestyle, but don't get overly rude, and don't shove it in his face every chance you get. Pray for him and God will do what needs to be done.

Addressing your second question first, I have to assume that if your parents don't know, then you live somewhere else, and don't communicate all that much. Next time you talk/visit, mention him in conversation. If it's possible, invite them over for dinner to meet him.

Per the Bible Study, check out your local Christian bookstore for some good ideas for study topics. Pick things that are appropriate to the group of people you will be working with, but broad enough to keep anyone else interested. More on this later. Now, armed with your scripture and it's message, work up a plan including music (if any? praise choruses? Hymns? with or without printed words/music?), scripture reading (read by discussion leader or various group members? long passages broken into sections?), discussion questions (keep these very broad), prayer, food, and a little of anything else you think might help drive home the message or make the meeting a little more friendly. Once you have the plans for a few meetings worked up, you need to let other people know what's up. plan dates/times, and then make up fliers, posters, etc., to post around campus & at church, pass out, give to friends, all the rest. Your first meeting, you might want to do a few of those annoying-as-heck-but-fun-anyway ice-breaker games and/or a survey of "what do you want to talk about while you're here?" so you can get a good idea of who you're working with and some ideas for study topics. Also, not at the very first meeting but not long after, you may want to get a list of names/ph.numbers of your members. Now you're on your way. Work through your plan, and invite everyone back for the next meeting. Now flop down in your chair and heave a huge sigh of relief. That wasn't so bad after all. wow. But seriously, now you're through the worst of it. You just need to keep up with the needs of the group, with more study plans and maybe even a few outside of the classroom/apartment/cafeteria/studyplace activities.

A few good references you might like to check out:

About Startup and Leadership:

--Leadership University (http://www.leaderu.com)*

--The Small Group Leader's Handbook (book) (http://www1.gospelcom.net/ivpress/title/1139.html)
by: Ann Beyerlein, Sara Keiper, Jimmy Long, Patty Pell, Nina Thiel and Doug Whallon
from: InterVarsity Press

--Starting (& Ending) a Small Group (book) (http://www1.gospelcom.net/ivpress/title/1075.html)
by: Dan Williams
from: InterVarsity Press

--The Small Group Network(http://smallgroups.com)

--InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (Networked College Small-Group Bible Study)(http://www.gospelcom.net/iv)

--Koinonia House (http://www.khouse.org)*
800.khouse.1 (800.546.8731)

Material For BibleStudies:

--The Bible Study (http://www.vii.com/~bowserd/bible/bible.html)*

--The World Wide Study Bible (http://ccel.wheaton.edu/wwsb)*

--Study Helps and Other Things (http://homepage.third-wave.com/christ4u/christianhelps.html)*

(*Thanks to Julian Tunjo, Leroy D Robinson jr, Pastor Charles Kitner, Will Swim, and the rest of the Christian Computing Magazine Mailing List (ccmagazine@xc.org) for these references.)

God Bless! We will all be praying for you!