The Professor

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I was going to call this section "The Man, The Myth, The Legend" but that seemed a bit much. I admire him, truly, but I don't wish to mock him. He's ruthless when he's angry.
Anyhow, this section is where you can learn about the professor and drool over his godlike appearance. (Okay, that comment may seem a bit drastic to some of you. However, I refuse to apologise. It is an entirely jusitfible comment.)

Name: Professor Severus Snape

Occupation: Head of Slytherin House and Potions Master

Location: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, U.K.

Age: 36

History: Not much is known commonly about his past, as he is a very private individual. What I know personally, I will not divulge here, as it was told to me in the greatest confidence. One I am not willing to break, for several reasons, not least of which is the fact that he is my employer and I am no fool. What I will tell you follows. He attended Hogwarts at the same time as James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans, and their contemporaries. He was a Slytherin, and well-known for his knowledge, particularly of the Dark Arts. He has been a professor at Hogwarts for fourteen years, and is well-respected by his colleagues as well as Headmaster Albus Dumbledore.

Personal Status: ... Yeah, like I'm going to tell you that and incur the wrath of the very man who presides over, essitentially, every aspect of my life!?! I don't think so.

Crude, Muggle Photos of the Professor
(They hardly do him justice.)

Conversations with the BPM

The following are what some may call interviews or "sessions of pestering the professor." However, I believe they may give some insights into the mind and life of the professor to those who are not as priviliged as I am.

Conversation One
The professor and his apprentice are both seated in their private chamber. The professor is reading and marking essays. The apprentice is reading a large, archaic text and taking detailed notes. She pauses, and adjusts her position so she can face the professor.

Dymphna: Professor, may I ask you a few questions?

Professor Snape (raises eyebrow): Perhaps. But I reserve the right to deny any response.

Dymphna: Always, sir. Now, I'll start with something easy. What is your favourite potion to brew?

Professor Snape: I do not waste my time with such trivia. I brew what is necessary to me at the time it is needed. I do not play such friviolous schoolgirl games, Miss Erlina.

Dymphna: Of course. Exactly what I thought you'd say. Now, something more difficult. Why do you insist on so much black in your wardrobe?

Professor Snape (there is a sound here, most likely of shock and disapproval): It suits my purpose.

Dymphna: What is your relationship to the Malfoy family?

Professor Snape (a scathing look of reprimand and a dangerous tone): Miss Erlina, I'm warning you now.

Dymphna (blinks innocently and attempts looking shocked): Whatever do you mean, sir?

Professor Snape (spoken softly, but malevolently): You know bloody well what I mean, woman. Now, be still and return to your work this instant!

Dymphna (slight smirk flits across her face, but is quickly gone): Yes, of course, Severus. I meant no harm, dear.

Professor Snape (glaring, voice and anger rising steadily): I know bloody well what your intent is with this ludicrious line of questioning! I will not have such delicate and private information published on that infernal muggle contraption of yours! I will not have those rabid and daft women knowing such personal details!

Dymphna (lounging, unconcerned, in her seat): Calm down, love. I would not post anything that would be damaging to your reputation, nor place you in danger of discovery. By any party. (gives meaningful glance)

Professor Snape (settling gruffly back into his own chair): I should think not.