A Very Scruffy Life
Bwha. So these cover things I've experienced and what I thought about it. That said, on with my thoughts.
2002.08.01
Mom came home around the 21st. She's doing well...
Wow. I just need...a minute or 80 to breath. So much has happened. My trip to Seattle is off :( Mel's mom knows about us... Our trip to Boston for our anniversary...I don't even know where to start, my God. But Wow. Chinatown in Boston.
Hmm. Will reflect on this after I know the situation with my fall semester. I may not be allowed to return to clasess in the fall --- tuition issues. Anyway, don't really feel like writing an entry now, well tata.
2002.07.17
Mom's been graduated to clear liquids. She's still in he hospital recieving IV nutrition, but she's doing better. Dad says she looks better and appears to already be losing weight. Hooyah. Tomorrow is her birthday. Happy Birthday Mom!
The past few days have been almost idyllic. Sunday Mel and I built that closet shelf/rod setup, then we came back here....Monday we played tennis, and Tuesday we played badmiton. We were going to go rock climing on the school's climbing wall - but mel had the wrong shoes and we were a bit late anyway. Badmiton was fun, but I pulled my right gludius maximus, and my knees are slightly disgruntled. oops. Today is Fencing and then my sim at 11pm. ::yawn:: Off to update that sim page. Mel and I are currently planning our camping trip.
Must call planned parenthood. damnit.
2002.07.16
My mom is in the hospital for her pancreatitis. Her pancreas (which normally has the volume of like half a can of coke) is massive - thus accounting for her pregnant appearance. Good lord. She's on IV nutrition until her pancreas goes back down to a normal size. Hopefully she'll be out soon, but she'll be on the IVs for a while -- she'll just bring her dancing partner home.
Mel and I went home last weekend. I brought presents for peter (flags: USA, Ukraine, Imperial Russia (pre-1917), and Switzerland.), mom (a smith T-shirt , jasmine scented soap, sandalwood soap, and sandalwood insence), and a late father's day present for dad (a smith T college T).
Both T shirts read: "Smith College//Where women's minds matter"
As another present for mom, Melody and I installed new closet shelves with real closet rods :) Mom and Dad's closet is a walk in 8 ft wide and 6.5 ft long. The shelves go down the sides and across the back, I got a rod with bends in it so the rod makes a U shape. :)
Mel and I work really well together. :)
2002.07.12
I wish I could even begin to tell ya'll about my last few weeks. I can't. Not only out of respect for people's privacy, but I can't even begin to process it all. I'm pretty much cowering in a corner. The only thing that's saved me from a complete break down is Mel. She's been there and held me through it all - just as I've held her, because some bizarre-o stuff has been going down for both of us. She just holds me sometimes, and sometimes she's holding me while my world just spins outta control, and other days she holds onto me as her anchor when her world is out of control. And we talk. About us, about movies, about human behavior, about Mal'kasha Eto, about Rossi, about Fencing, about anything and everything. Such healthy relationships might sicken some.
In non-Mel news, my mom was hospitalized for 6 days while the doctors investigated gall bladder problems. It turns out she had pancreatitis (caused by the gall stones obstructing her bile duct, maybe?). She's home now, but needs to go on a strict diet. I'm really relieved everything is ok. She's my mom. My source of unconditional love and hugs. Even if sometimes I'm 'too cool' for mommy-time, I do love her and wish she would take better care of herself. *sigh*
So just as I was finishing that last paragraph, I talked to my dad over IMs... he had this to say:
Just put ma back in vassar hospital so she can be on intravenous....pancreas distended which calls for no food but must keep enzymes and elctrolytes up. In good spirits and got nice windowed room...nurses all glad to see her. Be there for a few days to allow swelling to go down. Hugs to you see ya around 8. gotta do errands for a while.
This is in keeping with pancreatitis and neatly answers my confusion about whether this was acute or chronic (the treatment she is in for is for chronic pancreatitis). I'm just tired and hurting and lonely. Make it better!
Dear God, Fix my Mom. I love her very much. Thank you, Scruffy.
2002.06.14
Hmmm. I'm tired. I miss Mal'Kasha Eto in the days of DuFed. I miss having it be such a large part of my life. I almost started crying reading over the little bit I have on the Mal'Kasha Eto page. In other emotional news, I haven't been so happy for so long in such a long time it makes my head spin. I feel so happy and peaceful and contented around her. She makes my heart swell. I feel like I'm overflowing with joy. I don't know what to do with so much happiness. She completes me so profoundly that I feel like I surely must cry...but the tears don't come. Instead I just smile and feel that pressure in my face as I borrow into her shoulder. I hope she's half as happy as I am.
Yesterday I went and worked on my armour with Mel and Rossi at his house - which I'll be house sitting in August. It was such fun, and just thought how lucky I was to have a girlfriend who enjoys all these things that I do and has a thirst for knowledge and experiance like I do. I have trully found my Comrati. In her, I find myself. I find myself whole and complete and cute and loved and attractive in her. I find myself happy. I really am smitten, huh?
2002.05.23: Who the Hell Stole my Zippo Inards?!
Someone. Some dispicable example of humanity swapped the inside of my Zippo lighter for theirs. This is TOTALLY unacceptable. Someone will fix this. NOW.
OK, I'm going to stop bitching about stupid things now. I find myself reflecting on getting a job again. I should be hunting now, not sitting here doing this, but my knees are out, so I have to be kind to them for a bit first. ... I am about to rip out my hair. So much intellectual masturbation at the Alumnae College thing where I did some work today - sheparding alumnae about the library. It was the worst when we were in the rare book room. Uhg. One guy was REALLY bad. I wanted to hand him a vibrator and tell him to sit on it. Instead I smiled, talked, made the alumnae feel great about Smith. I'm tired. And NOT looking forward to going home tomorrow. Yawn.
It's good that I'm doing this, but all the same, I'd rather stay and play. (Because I'm long...and I'm strong...and I'm bound to get that freak show on...hehe, There is much to be said for "I like Big Butts" It's just plain amusing.)
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Ohkay, more work on site completed. I'm so pleased with what I thought up for the 28th...I really hope the Bulgarians don't ruin the surprise! (Mel and I have two Bulgarian friends who clued me into a few things and that allowed me to figure out what I'm doing for My Mel.).
Yesterday, Mel said the funniest thing. We had a girl who had gotten drunk, had sex with some other girl, and then come to our room, naked, to sleep because she was locked out of her room. This girl claims she's straight. Mel's response to me was: "Yeah. She's straight. Sooo Straight. Just like I was. Straight like the horns of an antelope." We later looked at a pic of a common antelope and decided this was the wrong beast. After some research, Chris clued me in to the antelope that Mel was thinking of. The Kudu. So Mel is straight like the horns of this Kudu. That fucking cracks me up. I've now dubbed her "Kudushka Moya" or My Little/Precious Kudu. ~shka is a russian suffix used to make diminutives out of nouns. Like Devushka Moya is My Girl, but in an affectionate way.
That's all for now...more later today, maybe.
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2002.05.22: A Truly Glorious Day!
I don't really have much to say. Monday at 23:10 I turned in the last Dostoevsky paper! In which I examine guilt in Devils and Brothers Karamozov and how the repression of guilt is doomed to be unsuccessful and that one's inner demons will catch up to one, but are only created in their denial, and so, we are our own demons...Yeah...Kinda confusing when I sum it up. Why not take a look at it on my Academics page?
My last paper looked at the significance of Raskolnikov's room on his psyche and how it was used as a foil to the other significant characters in Crime and Punishment...That was 11 pages. Ick. Glad it's all done!!
The weather is glorious. Warm. Blue Sky. Little wind...::sigh:: Probably going kayaking later today. It's really so beautiful. I love not having much to do. Lets me catch up on all that I want to do. I feel so many things these days. I haven't felt so alive and healthy in a long time. I really don't know what else to say right now. I guess I'll go back to filling in all these pages!
Here I go again...Back from adding and updating pages. Still have a lot to do, but who cares? Going Kayaking soon :P
2002.05.16: A Very Lazy Day
Turned in paper. Finally time to sleep. I ate, found my Zoloft, took my Zoloft. I'm still kinda dizzy, but it is getting a bit better. I miss my Mel, of course. I had planned to go to Hotchkiss today, but no dice. Maybe I'll go tomorrow. I'm so fucking tired. I can't wait till I'm done with with this.
I really should add an "Open Source" section. Papers, presentations, research, projects, code, and so on. This menu system I have no sucks. Maybe I'll stick it at the top with drop down things. No. That would be too involved. I will not use frames. Unless I use iframes. I like iframes.
I also like tables.
None of this answers what I'm going to do with this navigation bar.
Maybe I could do something with tables and image rollovers. Ick, but that would require image maps....OH! (See, this is my creative process...scary isn't it?) I'll use tables. Each column's top div will be labeled with a category like: "Projects" would have school, coding, AWA, ASA, etc....I am so smart :) Ewww, I really don't wanna get to work on this. Oh well. That's next I guess. first....bathroom and a smoke.
Yes, I smoke. I am not editting my life for this site. I smoke like 3 or 4 cigarettes a day, more at parties. I'm sorta quiting, not because of my health or anything like that, but because I want to taste good when Mel kisses me. Shoo.
2002.05.15: A Very Stressful Day
Zoloft! Where's my Zoloft?! Where the FUCK is my Zoloft?! I finally figured out why I've been so dizzy. I haven't had any Zoloft since May 11th...and I'm in withdrawl. Withdrawl is bad.
Withdrawl or not, I've got to finish revising this paper for My russian lit class. Dean Riddell said it was due on the 15th. It will be turned in on the 15th if it kills me. I finally finished it up 11 pages long! I think I did an OK job. Go me! Go me!
I'm da Scruffy.
I'm da Scruffy.
I really hate lit papers.
I'm pleased with how this site is turning out. It'll be good. I'll get some roll overs going on soon. Some interactive content...pop-up menus. It'll be grand! But for now I just need to fill in the basics!