Suzanne's Bard Work!!

Bard work, huh? Let's just say I was inspired by my favorite bard, Gabrielle, from the TV series, Xena: Warrior Princess. Don't tell me you don't know what a bard is!! It's Gabrielle's profession. She's a writer. Hope that clears things up. Now, if you are compelled to ask, "What the heck is a 'warrior princess'?" I might be inclined to point out that perhaps you've come to the wrong place. :)

With that said, let's get down to the good stuff!! This is basically a place that will showcase all of my Xena fan fiction and filk songs (song parodies), which I'm crazy enough to spend all my free time writing. Whee!

Enter the Mind of a Hero This little story was written for my Fiction Workshop class. The assignment was to write a third person point-of-view, limited perspective story, no more than a page or two. It needed to involve three characters entering an unfamiliar place at the same time. Of course, Xena, Gabrielle, and Joxer were the first to come to mind! Maybe I'll use this as part of a future story, who knows?

THE AMULET OF TIME: Once Upon a Time She's just a typical 20 year old until the day an old woman gives her a mysterious amulet a week before her birthday. She soon finds out that there's more than meets the eye to the amulet's strange green stone when she is transported to ancient Greece, over 2000 years in the past. There she meets a certain Warrior Princess and her friends.

Xena Scroll Writer Parody of Paperback Writer, by the John Lennon & Paul McCartney. This was one of the first Xena related things I ever wrote.

Warrior From Athens Parody of Man of La Mancha, by Mitch Leigh & Joe Darion. I've made several references to Don Quixote in my Joxer fics and I thought this song was just a natural choice for a parody. After all, it's the Don Quixote equivalent of Joxer's song!

The Unreachable Bard Parody of The Impossible Dream, by Mitch Leigh & Joe Darion. A bittersweet song describing Joxer's "quest".

I Whistle a Mighty Tune Parody of I Whistle a Happy Tune, by Rogers & Hammerstein. I had gotten this song stuck in my head a while back, when I was writing "Enter the Mind of a Hero". This is another one of those songs that just fits so well, I couldn't resist writing a parody of it!

Bring Back You Know Who Parody of Any Dream Will Do, by Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice. Here I go with another showtune filk based on a certain song from a certain musical, and it's all about bringing back a certain warrior wannabe.

Season Five Again, Please? Parody of Could We Start Again, Please?, by Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice. The "may we return to the beginning" verse in Bring Back You Know Who reminded me of this very fitting song.

You Make the Fool Parody of Close Every Door, by Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice. In this song, Joxer addresses The Powers That Be (the Xena writers, producers, ect.) for how he was treated during the series, especially at the end of season 5. But Joxer points out that there's hope for him yet... at least with his fans.

What Would Joxer the Mighty Do? Parody of What Would Brian Boitano Do?, by Trey Parker & Matt Stone. Okay, so one thing always leads to another. After writing my Blame Canada parody, I got What Would Brian Boitano Do? stuck in my head. I just love this tune! Since I didn't know the real words that well at the time, I began to make up Joxer lyrics to the song. What Would Joxer the Mighty Do? was born!

I Like Him (Joxer Version) Parody of I Like Him, by Mitch Leigh & Joe Darion. "Why do you follow him? What do you get out of it?" These are questions that all of us Joxer fans are asked eventually. This filk is my answer. I usually change the title of my song parodies, but in this case, nothing could top Sancho's simple explanation for why he considered Don Quixote his friend. "I like him." Does it really have to be any more complicated than that?

Oh What's the Purpose Parody of Oh What a Circus, by Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice. In keeping with the mood of the original song, I decided, just for fun, to make Jace (Che... Jace... get it?) the omnipresent narrator of "Oh What's the Purpose". Yippee! Let me point out that not all the statements in this filk necessarily reflect my personal opinions... some stuff just fit that way and some of it was just fun (or funny) to write.

When Love's Arrow Whirls Parody of When Boy Meets Girl, written by Tom Shapiro, Terri Clark & Chris Waters. And it's a fun, feel-good song too. I was thinking about doing a Joxer/Gabrielle song for awhile. Then I happened to see the music video for Terri Clark's "When Boy Meets Girl" over the weekend. A devilish grin crossed my face as I instantly recognized how perfect a parody it would make.

Close Enough to Perfect (Joxer Version) Parody of Close Enough to Perfect, written by Carl E. Chambers. When I heard this old Alabama song on the radio, I knew I had to make it into a Joxer song. And I really like how it turned out. It says everything I wanted to and more.

She Misses Him (Joxer Version) Parody of She Misses Him, written by Tim Johnson. Another country song... this one performed by Tim Rushlow. I heard "She Misses Him" on the radio one night and thought it could perfectly express Gabrielle's inner feelings about Joxer's death. I'm quite proud of this one. It's not exactly a protest song, but get your tissues out anyway. This one'll get ya... but in a good way!
Don't Come Along Twice Parody of Don't Happen Twice, written by Lance/McHugh. When I heard the first verse of this Kenny Chesney song on the radio (which I left virtually untouched in the filk), it immediately conjured up images of Joxer's first encounter with Xena and Gabrielle after their little 25 year nap. Then I tried to figure out how to make the rest of the song fit in. I'm fairly happy with the result.

A Certain Writer With a Certain Actor

BACK TO XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS... AND JOXER TOO!

LAST UPDATED: Saturday, September 1, 2001.

Xena: Warrior Princess and all things Xena herein are (c) 1995-2001 Renaissance Pictures and MCA/Universal. No challenge of ownership to trademarked property is intended or implied. I am a simple bard with a story to tell, making absolutely no financial gain whatsoever.

Enter the Mind of a Hero	This little story was written for my Fiction Workshop class. The assignment was to write a third person point-of-view, limited perspective story, no more than a page or two. It needed to involve three characters entering an unfamiliar place at the same time. Of course, Xena, Gabrielle, and Joxer were the first to come to mind! Maybe I'll use this as part of a future story, who knows?
THE AMULET OF TIME: Once Upon a Time	She's just a typical 20 year old until the day an old woman gives her a mysterious amulet a week before her birthday. She soon finds out that there's more than meets the eye to the amulet's strange green stone when she is transported to ancient Greece, over 2000 years in the past. There she meets a certain Warrior Princess and her friends.

Xena Scroll Writer	Parody of Paperback Writer, by the John Lennon & Paul McCartney. This was one of the first Xena related things I ever wrote.
Warrior From Athens	Parody of Man of La Mancha, by Mitch Leigh & Joe Darion. I've made several references to Don Quixote in my Joxer fics and I thought this song was just a natural choice for a parody. After all, it's the Don Quixote equivalent of Joxer's song!
The Unreachable Bard	Parody of The Impossible Dream, by Mitch Leigh & Joe Darion. A bittersweet song describing Joxer's "quest".
I Whistle a Mighty Tune	Parody of I Whistle a Happy Tune, by Rogers & Hammerstein. I had gotten this song stuck in my head a while back, when I was writing "Enter the Mind of a Hero". This is another one of those songs that just fits so well, I couldn't resist writing a parody of it!
Bring Back You Know Who	Parody of Any Dream Will Do, by Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice. Here I go with another showtune filk based on a certain song from a certain musical, and it's all about bringing back a certain warrior wannabe.
Season Five Again, Please?	Parody of Could We Start Again, Please?, by Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice. The "may we return to the beginning" verse in Bring Back You Know Who reminded me of this very fitting song.
You Make the Fool	Parody of Close Every Door, by Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice. In this song, Joxer addresses The Powers That Be (the Xena writers, producers, ect.) for how he was treated during the series, especially at the end of season 5. But Joxer points out that there's hope for him yet... at least with his fans.
What Would Joxer the Mighty Do?	Parody of What Would Brian Boitano Do?, by Trey Parker & Matt Stone. Okay, so one thing always leads to another. After writing my Blame Canada parody, I got What Would Brian Boitano Do? stuck in my head. I just love this tune! Since I didn't know the real words that well at the time, I began to make up Joxer lyrics to the song. What Would Joxer the Mighty Do? was born!
I Like Him (Joxer Version)	Parody of I Like Him, by Mitch Leigh & Joe Darion. "Why do you follow him? What do you get out of it?" These are questions that all of us Joxer fans are asked eventually. This filk is my answer. I usually change the title of my song parodies, but in this case, nothing could top Sancho's simple explanation for why he considered Don Quixote his friend. "I like him." Does it really have to be any more complicated than that?
Oh What's the Purpose	Parody of Oh What a Circus, by Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice. In keeping with the mood of the original song, I decided, just for fun, to make Jace (Che... Jace... get it?) the omnipresent narrator of "Oh What's the Purpose". Yippee! Let me point out that not all the statements in this filk necessarily reflect my personal opinions... some stuff just fit that way and some of it was just fun (or funny) to write.
When Love's Arrow Whirls	Parody of When Boy Meets Girl, written by Tom Shapiro, Terri Clark & Chris Waters. And it's a fun, feel-good song too. I was thinking about doing a Joxer/Gabrielle song for awhile. Then I happened to see the music video for Terri Clark's "When Boy Meets Girl" over the weekend. A devilish grin crossed my face as I instantly recognized how perfect a parody it would make.
Close Enough to Perfect (Joxer Version)	Parody of Close Enough to Perfect, written by Carl E. Chambers. When I heard this old Alabama song on the radio, I knew I had to make it into a Joxer song. And I really like how it turned out. It says everything I wanted to and more.
She Misses Him (Joxer Version)	Parody of She Misses Him, written by Tim Johnson. Another country song... this one performed by Tim Rushlow. I heard "She Misses Him" on the radio one night and thought it could perfectly express Gabrielle's inner feelings about Joxer's death. I'm quite proud of this one. It's not exactly a protest song, but get your tissues out anyway. This one'll get ya... but in a good way!
Don't Come Along Twice	Parody of Don't Happen Twice, written by Lance/McHugh. When I heard the first verse of this Kenny Chesney song on the radio (which I left virtually untouched in the filk), it immediately conjured up images of Joxer's first encounter with Xena and Gabrielle after their little 25 year nap. Then I tried to figure out how to make the rest of the song fit in. I'm fairly happy with the result.