If I looked like her, my problems would be solved, Beyonce’s the type of lady ‘round whichthe world revolves. She’s curv-i-lious I can judge and there’s certainly no doubt, if I looked just a little like her, I’d forever be out and about. I could wear sequined gowns and crowns and stiletto’s to work too, but I’d likely fall and hit my head and then what would I do? I could kick and jump just like her, I could also groove and bump But I’m not so coordinated and I’m missing the key-- a rump.

oh! I guess I’ll just keep being me, but I’ll still make my comments. But, I guess I know if I looked like her, There’d be scores of other laments. Too much money, too much fame too many fans to please, but I’ve got all I need here on the isle, friends and work and time to cease! Who needs her hassle? But, yep, it’s official If I looked like her, my problems would be solved.

ODE TO THE STEPPER

There you stand Tall and lean Just waiting for me to make a workout scene. I choose my time and then my course. As steps start to fall I'm full of remorse. Ten minutes in and I'm starting to sweat. I'm breathing hard - my shirt is all wet. Twenty minutes - my lung is bleeding a full body cast is what I'll be needin'.

Thirty minutes - praise the Lord! I'll be the fittest patient in the hospital ward. You tell me I'm done and calories I've burned but only I know all the lessons I've learned. Don't forget water and accept you'll be sore. Hold on at the end or pass out on the floor. Long live the stepper!