m y . t h o u g h t s . o n . t h i n g s

9/21/04

Hi. This is kinda a letter to anyone who’s grown up in the South, Midwest, or another conservative, religious or otherwise sheltered community. I think there’s a lot of us out there, and I think that as we get older, a lot of us feel this sudden overwhelming need to “rebel”: to get away from our roots, to denounce them, to feel as though our parents crippled us by not preparing us for ‘the real world’. We move to the big cities. We accept all liberal political ideals because they seem more ‘enlightened’. We hate the religion we were brought up believing.

I think it’s kinda annoying when people do this.

I come from a VERY conservative place. I don’t feel like there’s many people who have the right to speak over me when it comes to the experience of growing up sheltered. I know what this life is like. Trust me. I know what it’s like to be scared of the real world, to feel as though you live in a protected bubble that’s conditioned you to never be able to survive outside it’s conservative, religious walls. I know the hoplessness and meainglessness and despair and pain when you start to think beyond all that you’ve been taught and always believed. I know what it feels like when your every foundation you thought was true falls out from under you and you don’t know how or why to live anymore. This is not an easy journey for those who’ve dared to journey it. (And if anyone is reading this who is now going through that, you have my utmost empathy – keep going, I can’t promise that life will make more sense on the other side, but the shock will wear off and a much greater appreciation of life will come, I promise.) I understand what it’s like to realize that the community/beliefs you grew up in are wrong. But what I don’t understand is why some people curse this background, as if it’s the worst thing that could’ve ever happened to them.

I think it’s the best thing that can happen to anyone. I think it’s made me a much better, wiser, more well-rounded person than I could’ve ever hoped to be had I grown up in a lifestyle that I live today.

I used to whole-heartedly believe a different way about things than I do now. I don’t despise what I used to believe, though. I don’t think I was mislead into believing it then; I think it’s just what I believed then. How do I know that what I believe now won’t also eventually change? Because I whole-heartedly know that what I believe now is right? I thought the same thing back then about the beliefs I no longer believe.

Today I live in a very big, very liberal, non-conservative city. Though it's often a common misconception that people raised conservatively are ignorant and close-minded, the more I live in this place and am pervaded with the liberal attitude, the more I realize the opposite. I think that people who consider themselves so liberally open-minded and 'enlightened' are often so bigoted and close-minded to people they believe to be close-minded and 'unenlightened' that it's ridiculous. What I've found is that at least the supposed consevative, "closed-minded" folk will admit that they don't approve of certian liberal beliefs, whereas most supposed liberal, "open-minded" folk will just claim that conservatives are ignorant...and that's why they disagee with them.

I love the background I’ve come from. It allows me to understand things as many people can’t. I feel like I’ve been on both sides of most beliefs. Not many people can do this – understand both sides – I like that I can.

If you’re reading this and you’re from a similar conservative or religious background and now hate that background, don’t curse it. Learn from it. Take it for what it was. You have something to base your understanding of life on the many people don’t have. That’s cool and you should think it’s cool too.

last updated:
9/21/04