MAZFIN.COM---FIN'S
COLUMN
Thursday 8th March
Hi again,
As usual I will start my column by reflecting
on what has happened since I last wrote my column.......
Let's start off with the 16th birthday of Andrew
Low(e) Yes, Wednesday the 7th of March marked "D'low's" Bday so
I am going to take this opportunity to reflect on the life and times of Andrew
Low. Teresa Low and Andrew Low senior were the proud parents of a young rugrat
whose favourite past times were eating crayons and hanging around with Liam
Gordon and Ben Varley. As Andrew grew older and started school, he earned
himself a bit of a reputation as a troublemaker and a bully. Andy soon took
his mischievousness to new heights as he embarked on "garden hopping"
with good friend Ben Varley. Moving on a couple of years, Low became embroiled
in an on/off romance with Sammy Kenny whome he went out with a record 5 times(well
it was a record back then at that tender age, of course 5 times pales in comparison
to what Vicky McGuinness gets up to) While Low wasn't involved with Kenny,
he was breaking other records, this time with his 37second snog with Laura
Wilson that many of his friends never heard the end of. As Low moved into
his teenage years, h
e enjoyed following Leeds United and playing
street cricket with his idol and one true here Liam "Les" Gordon.
Low will certainly never forget the time he saw Liam and Susan Hanson having
a bit of "Hello Vicar" in a garden shed. Once in Holy Family, Low's
mischievousness grew, I will now mention one memorable incident.......The
scene was set, a group of young hooligans were stood at the top of a banking
digging up mud with the heels of their shoes and hurling it at innocent yound
kids. Low, as you may have guessed, was involved, Low dug up a huge clump
and rolled it around in his hands for 5 minutes or so, he was then ready to
realease but all he needed was a target.........Then, round the corner came
2 "swots" named Jo-Hanna Cutler and Sarah Hannon, Low chuckled and
said "Lads, watch this" In a truly memorable moment, Low flung his
arm back and let his beautiful ball of mud fly through the air at an alarming
speed, the huge "mud bomb" eventually nestled nicely on the back
of Jo-Hanna Cutler's head ruining her ginger locks and causing her to cry
like a little school girl, oh yeah she was one. Skipping a few years....by
year 11 Low was a renowned gentle giant who had picked up the name "D-Low"
as well as a few others which I will not mention. it was in year 11 that Andy
found his sensitive, soft and caring side, he found ANNA SPRAGG. Cutting a
long story short, Spragg broke Andy's heart and now Andy is back to being
plain old Andy. I hope you all enjoed the life and times of Andrew Low Junior.
Now where do I go from such an emotional speech
as that above? Oh yes, the year 11 interform football tournament. Most people
know that this is going to between 11A(my form) and 11M. I would like to do
a little match preview.......
Now 11M are good, don't get me wrong.....they have the likes of Capizio and
Scott who on their day can be better than anyone(especially Scott) However,
11M have 2 main weaknesses:
1. They have Ryan Wise on their team, Wisey is a very good attacking player,
but for my liking he just doesn't have the work rate that we have on our team,
Wisey is great with the ball at his feet but I feel he somewhat lacks the
qualities needed in the defensive department.
2. Stigsworth Wright is not playing, this guy is a living legend, without
him, 11M are meerly "good" With him, they are "excellent"
Wrighty's replacement is Antonio, Antonio aint bad but he is no Wrighty and
I tihnk he tried too hard, he thinks he is an Alessandro Del Piero when he
is only a Di Livio.
In big news from the past week.....Stacey Carter
and Jonathan Willett have been making big waves. Here's the story: Willett
went round to Carter's house last Friday night, while in Carter's room, willett
got the ball rolling by using that very original and romantic line of "It's
hot in here" Anyways, one thing led to another and I don't really know
what happened for sure so I best not comment coz I won't hear the last of
it from Carter! I'll give you some of the rumours that have been flying around
about the incident though.....
"STACEY IS PREGNANT"
"STACEY AND WILLETT ARE ENGAGED"
Both those rumours were supplied by Gillian Regan and Jen Crangle so ask them
about it. Anyway, the last thing Jonny Willett said to me about the incident
was........."Guess where I'm going this Friday night!?!?!*Wink*"
Remember MazFin are still hiring columnists so
mail me about it.....top of our hotlist are.....Eddy O'Dwyer, Joey Cutler,
Mansoor Hussain, Stacey Carter and Carly Selby.
In other news, I have been informed by a reliable
source that some MazFin columnists are going in strike in protest of the sacking
of veteran columnist Tom Marshall by legendary "Alex "Mr.Friday
Night" Gledhill. I am a afraid that I can't give MazFin readers any definite
word on what is going on here but I cna assure you that myself and Maza will
be taking measures to bring these columnists back on board and make sure they
do what they are best at. The word on the grapevine is that Phil Manley, Smeg
and Bardgett are all campaigning to bring Marshall back. I would also like
to bring Tom back coz I enjoyed his thoughts, they were a bit depressing sometimes
but while looking at the site stats I noticed that his column drew one hell
of a lot of hits. So far Gledhill has proposed for Marshall to do one more
"fare well" column, however, I believe Gledhill may have to give
in to pressure and settle his differences with Marshall.
I have enjoyed writing this column and will be
back on Sunday with another little column to keep you all going.
Cy'all Later
Fin
AND FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT WERE UNFORTUNATE
ENOUGH TO MISS MY LAST COLUMN.....CHECK IT OUT BELOW........
Wednesday 28th February
Well, well, well, I'm back sooner
than expected. As I lay in bed this morning I was dreading another day at
school, with my unfinished English essay on my mind I rolled out of bed and
made my way downstairs slowly. I looked out of the window and saw a load of
snow which made me aks my mum if school was off, she said "yeah"!
That brought a broad smile to my face, I went back to bed until 12 which brings
me to now, writing my weekly column.
Unfortunately, there has been
no netball match this week so I can't do another write up. Let's start off
with some things that annoy me.......THE BRIT AWARDS, boy I hate those shitty
awards which showcase such wankers as.....COLDPLAY, ROBBIE WILLIAMS and who
can forget CRAIG DAVID! Those BR(sh)IT awards make my blood boil so I'm not
going to continue talking about them.
Tuesday night did have the brit
awards on terrestrial TV but all was not lost because after that came......Ace
Ventura Pet Detective, what a movie, I thouroughly enjoyed it even if I have
seen it 10 times or whatever. Not only was Ace Ventura
on but also over on Sky One was Hotshots! 2 great movies in 1 night, took
me away from thoughts of coursework.
Since my last column, Leeds beat Spurs.......now
all I have to say on that matter is Bowyer is a diving little Bastard! We'll
see how cocky them Leeds fans are when Bowyer and Woodgate are behind bars.
Moving swiftly on, 1 day back into school life
and my good friend Nicky Wilson was suspended. I've got a little message for
Nicky........"Look on the bright side Nick, at least now that you've
got all that free time on your hands you can copy more games!
MISSING PERSON: Has anyone seen Steven Wright
of West Lane? Stigsworth never ceases to amaze me, during the holidays he
was right as reign but when school comes round he is always mysteriously ill!?!?
MazFin.com is desperately searching for more
columnists, please if you are interested
e-mail me!
Who hasn't got AOL IM now? Everyone seems to
have it which is getting bad coz now knobheads like Wisey are on the net.
Oh well, at least it's another victim for Maza!
Speaking of Maza, you may be interested to know
thatgood ol Maza received a letter through the post yesterday, this letter
was a final warning from cable internet. Maza has had various warnings from
cable about all the hacking he does, I asked Maza if he was gonna give up
the old hacking after this "Final Warning" but he replied in true
maza fashion....."Am I hell, I'm gonna be hacking as soon as I get home"
WHAT A GUY.
Sorry about this col, it's only a quickie but
I am beginning to do them more recently now, expect another column from me
on Saturday or Sunday!
Later,
Fin
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