MAZFIN.COM---CHRIS
SMEATON'S COLUMN
This is a specail Guest Column by Chris Smeaton tell us what
you think of this column by mailing us here
and if we get more than 10 good replys we will give him a permanant spot here
at MazFin.com!(We cant be fairer than that)
Yo
Smeg here. This is my first column on the beautifully created
Mazfin.com. Not only has the site created several rivalries between individuals,
but it has created a strange hateness and in the same way a respect for the
funny Alex Gledhill. Although most of his jokes are about people who are my
friends, if they were about anybody else I would definitely urinate in my
big sexy pants.
I must therefore remain on the sides of the ugly gook and
brillo pad head. Er, this column will hopefully be changed fortnightly because
I feel that a weekly column leaves nothing new to write about. Just a couple
of problems with Mr Friday Night's column which I will now attempt to straighten
out: 1) I think that Alex may be a little confused about what a Brillo pad
is. (This worries me because when Gledders finishes school, how the heck is
he going to get a job? The interviewer will say: ok Mr Gledhill, why do you
think you should be part of the Oxfam team? When he replies telling them that
he's a real good washer upper, he will be stumped when the interviewer replies
with: Ok which do you prefer to remove stubborn period stains from ladies
stockings, cloth or Brillo pad? I hope that this point has helped you for
the future Mr Friday night. 2) Gledhill clearly has a bit of a thing for fat
ar… I mean Gillian Reagan.
He is showing a text book case of primary school infatuation.
This means that he shows his love indirectly by insulting her. This theory
could be related to the problem of why is he such a twat to my friends, perhaps
he is a fagot and he gets his strange nickname from his voluntary work at
chatback on Friday nights. The theory of primary school infatuation can also
be seen in monkeys, and freaks that live in dark damp rooms, and spend years
and years at a computer trying to gain friends, also known as cocksuckers.
If anybody is in doubt about the theory Hey Arnold! Is a classic example of
it. Helga loves Arnold but treats him poorly. That's all I can find for now.
I expect that he will probably try and come up with a witty reply to this
column and I await two weeks time with a whole bag of insults up my sleeve.
Lots of love Smeg
P.S Alex is probably in trouble with Kurt. Lots of you will
be laughing as I said that name but let me assure you, Kurt has the energy
of a big mountain goat, but he, being a gook is fluent in several different
types of martial arts, but wait that's not all, being a greaseball he also
has several different magical powers that involve grease. I suppose you could
say that he is not unlike the Pokemon Grimer. Beware of his sludge attack
Gledhill: I tell you this as a friend.
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