Bad timing. That's all it is. Mom, of course, has a more sinister interpretation.
Still, I deny all charges that I intentionallykeep mom awake all night when she has "important things to do" the next day. These false accusations crop up every time this happens, which is every time mom has "important things to do." Mom's just being paranoid. My explanation is obviously more logical. After all, I can't predict when mom will decide what she has to do is going to be "importnat." I has to be pure coincidence that I engage in especially noisy nocturnal activitivies on those specific nights - activities that tend to keep me busy somewhere in the vicinity of mom's bed till around dawn.
If it were more than mere coincidence, I'd have to be a very, very cunning and devilish little bunny, and clearly, I'm not . . . right? (heh, heh, heh)
Well, for the 8th year in a row since I've been following the Emmys not a single animal actor was even nominated! Not even Murray from Mad About You or Eddie from Frazier. Sure everybunny loves Helen Hunt and the human casts on both shows are great, but let's face it, those dogs really carry the shows.
Today mom was off to watch horses. Normally, I'd be a little put out at being abandoned for another species, but I forgave mom this time. I'm pretty sure this was just a simple misunderstanding on her part. She read that there'd be "jumpers" at the event so I'm sure she was expecting rabbits. It's a perfectly natural mistake.
I'll bet she was really surprised to find the jumpers were just horses! What surprised me was hearing that the place was crawling with dogs, too. I don't know if they were jumping too, but mom said she got lots of pictures of both of them and she'd be glad to let me have some for my webpage after she gets the film developed. Fine, but why couldn't she have found some rabbits to photograph, too?
What does it take for a bunny to get a drink of water around this place?
I must have done everything but spell it out with piece of my morning carrot to get mom to notice that my bottle was TOTALLY EMPTY! I ran back and forth from my bottle to mom and danced around her feet. I rattled the bottle against the cage. I even tried a little pantomiming with my ears - all with no result!
Finally, this evening mom saw the empty bottle and refilled it saying "Why didn't you tell me you were out of water?" I was speechless . . .but I had a nice, long drink.
I think mom's just making a big deal out of nothing. She claims she caught me "sneaking" into the bedroom after she took of her walking shoes and, instead of going downstairs, she only went halfway down and spied on me. We've been through these unfounded accusations before - that I'm "obsessed" with mom's shoes and and an "abnormal and unbunny-like" attachment to them.
Well, there's nothing unnatural about my interest! I may be a house bunny, but I have a healthy curiosity about the outside world. Mom's shoes are my best informant on the subject. They tell me all sorts of things about where she's been and what types of animals she's been hanging out with when my back is turned. Sure, I waited till I thought mom was gone before I went into the bedroom, but I was just trying to be polite. It's rude to snoop around someone's shoes when they're wearing them, plus mom hates it when I run around her feet and make her trip.
OK, I did settle down beside the shoes and snuggle up against them. It was a friendly gesture. They get lonely sitting in a dark room by themselves. I'm a very thoughtful rabbit.
Mom told me a really amazing story today about a woman in Delaware who knits rabbits. I think that's what she said.
A friend called to tell her about someone she met at a craftshow. The woman was holding an angora bunny on her lap and spinning wool right from the bunny's coat! I assume she used the wool to knit more bunnies.
I had no idea rabbits could be reproduced in this way! Just think of all the little companion dwarf bunnies we could have running around our house now if mom learned how to use one of those spinning wheels to turn my loose fur into rabbit wool! It makes me want to shed some more right now.
Apples for lunch today - my favorites, Granny Smiths! What a treat! I love apples. I gobbled mine up right away and was ready for more, but all I got was some hay and a cornstick treat. What a letdown!
Lunch was the highlight of the day. It was all downhill after that.
Mom got our pictures back from the developers today and we looked them over. I was eager to see how I turned out. I thought I was looking a bit sluggish in the last batch, but I seem to be back in good form.
And it's not easy keeping yourself looking your best when all the mirrorw are way above your eye level. I guess mom doesn't want me to get vain, or maybe she thinks I'll think there's another bunny in the house and attack it.
Anyway I'm still sorting through the pics, trying to decide which ones to put up on my page. We've got a couple decent shots of the little brown bunny visiting our yard and may a couple of other guests I might find space for in my "Neighorbors" section.
I got a new toy yesterday. It's A long cardboard tube mom found inside a package of aluminum foil after she got rid of the foil that was wrapped around it.
I experimented with it last night after mom went to bed and discovered it's a lot of fun to toss around and roll across the floor. It makes an enjoyable "thwacking" sound against the wood floor and a pleasant hollow "boinking" kind of sound against furniture. Bouncing it off my blanket makes a nice muffled "thunking" sound. Rolling it makes a sort of "plunk, plunk, plunking" sound. It kept me busy for several hours trying out on various surfaces.
I prefer this kind of activity late at night, when everything's quiet and peaceful. I can get the full effect of each individual sound. Mom, however, disagrees with me on this issue.
If they'd just invited me to the block party, none of this would have happened. You can't really blame me for feeling left out - all alone in the house while everyone was out in the street having a good time. Cats and dogs were invited, so why not rabbits?
All I wanted to do was grab one of my treats to comfort myself with. The ones I wanted were at the back of the shelf . . . a little hard to reach, but I was feeling pretty put out. I deserved this treat, so I stretched, and poked . . . and suddenly I was up to my ears in treat boxes, which certainly I had to investigate. The one I wanted, of course, was on the bottom, but soon all the treats were pretty much everywhere.
And that's about when mom came in to check on me and give me my treat, but I'd beat her to it. Obviously, if anyone's to blame for all this, it's mom. You can't expect a bunny to just sit quietly, twiddling her paws while there's a party going on outside.
So what if I galloped into mom's room at 3 a.m. this morning and attacked the furnitur and rug for an hour or two? Is that so terrible? I was full of energy, and mom seemed to be planning to sleep away half the morning! That's no fun for me!
Then, for some reason, mom was feeling grumpy all day, complaining about "rats gnawing on the bed all night, giving her bad dreams." Very funny. I wasn't gnawing on the bed - I just gnawed the bedside table and the storage chest.
Sometimes I think mom doesn't fully appreciate my playful nature.
Today was a wonderful cool day and I had a glorious sunbath on the second floor landing. Mom wanted to take a picture of me 'cause I look so cute with my back legs stretched out and my fur shining in the sunlight.
I waited for her to get the camera, then got up and hopped away just as she was focusing. I really am a little devil!
Today I got some pair for lunch! My carrot strike is already paying off!
I dashed over to the dish to investigate when mom brought it over, so she was happy. When she cam back later, she found the dish empty . . . I'd carefully scattered the pieces across the floor. Mom was VERY disappointed. I'm such a little devil! (Just between us, I actually ate a couple pieces - they were delicious!)
I've temporarily lost interest in carrots. Mom is baffled. She tried cutting my carrots into smaller pieces but I still ignored them.
I haven't decided how long to keep up my carrot strike yet. It depends on how long it takes mom to scramble around and find a new food that will appeal to me. Then I might start eating carrots again.
Being a bunny can be very complicated.
Mom let me help review the rabbit entries she got so far in her website's photo contest. Who'd have thought bunnies could come in so many interesting sizes and shapes? We got nice big fluffy white bunnies, spotted bunnies, cream color and black bunnies. Bunnies with perky ears (like mine) and bunnies with droopy ears. Big and little, long hair and short hair, cuddly and curious.
But they're all cute. So we put them all up on mom's page. I wouldn't want to deprive any rabbit-lovers of seeing all the nice bunnies.
Frankly, I don't know how mom's ever going to pick just 12 winners for her calendar. A lot of the non-bunny pictures are really cute, too. I'm glad that's not part of my job.
It's been rumored I only know how to write poetry about the weather. Not true! Here's an Ode to Breakfast:
Mom may not be as dumb as I thought. I'm sure I was completely hidden under the robe she had hanging on the bathroom door. I pulled it out across the floor and slipped under it neatly - it covered me from nose to tail. I waited patiently for my "victim" to come down from the office ready to pounce on her shoe as she passed the door.
I tensed up for action as I heard the approaching footstep when suddenly I hear "Hey Bun Bun, what'cha doing hiding under my robe?"
It spoiled the whole surprise! The day was ruined, so I retired to my hideout under the guestroom bed.
Here's another poem:
People have been asking for an explanation of my poetry. I think it's pretty straightforward, really. I take my inspiration from the weather. It's something everyone experiences and can easily relate to. It has universal appeal. Plus, it's always there. I think about it a lot, so naturally I express those thoughts in my poetry.
As some have pointed out, my poems don't rhyme. We rabbits prefer a less rigid structure in poetry as in life. We zig, we zag, sometimes we hop straight up. What we don't do is rhyme. I like to follow a string of images to wherever they may take me. For those looking for more traditional poetry, you might try a canine poet. Dogs often enjoy a good rhyme.
Mom rented a video about a little Beagle pup named Shiloh. I was shocked to see how mean the puppy's owner was. In fact, he was mean to everyone and even used nasty looking illegal traps to catch small animals and shot deer "out of season."
I was glad the pup ran away from him and found a nice boy to adop, but then the mean man got him back. It was a sad movie that showed how hard life can be for lots of animals - and for people too. The mean man had had an even meaner father, and the little boy's family was having a hard time making a living and keeping the roof over their heads. His dad tried to be very tough, but he had a warm hear underneath
In the end, even the mean man showed he had a little bit of his heart left. I guest there are lots of mean people in the world. Probably most of them get that way just like the man in the movie, because someone was mean to them when they were little. But I'm sure glad I've never met anyone like that. He was scary enough in a video that you could turn off and then snuggle with someone friendly.
I'm very concerned about the Russian space station Mir.
I know it's not the sort of thing a bunny usually worries about. In fact, outside of a few fleeting thoughts about the Rover on Mars outer space is generally about the furthest thing from my mind. Bunnies are very attached to Mother Earth - we often tunnel down into her so we can be even more firmly attached.
But the Mir station looks like it could be a threat to us Earth-bound creatures. It seems to be held together by bubble gum and a prayer, and I'm not sure the prayers are working any more. It could just fall down. And if it does, it's going to make a very big thud. I don't want to be under it when that happens. I'm sure it wouldn't be a healthy thing. It could very well be "the end of life as I know it."
Like I said, I'm very concerned.
Look, I'm as brave as the next bunny, but that vacuum cleaner was out to get me. I was just catching a little shut eye under the bed when it suddenly came after me, snarling and breathing dusty fire in my face! It was enough to give a rabbit a seizure!
Well, what can you expect from a monster whose sole purpose in life is to gobble up as many "dust bunnies" as it can hold in its cold metal stomach? It hunts them down relentlessly where ever they try to hide. If it sucks up a few fur bunnies in its mad quest I don't think it's gonna lose any sleep over it. If it sleeps, that is.
Mom shuts it in the closet when it's not roaring around on its evil mission. But is it sleeping? I don't think so. More likely, it's thinking about what it'll do with all those poor bunnies it collects.
I won't be one of them, that's for sure. If it tries to get me, I'll bite it and box its ears - wherever they are - and shake it hard . . . or maybe I'll just retreat to a safer hideout. Yeah, that'll show the nasty old airbag! I'm no dumb dust bunny!
Well this is one day I was glad to see the end of! Mom started cleaning my room while I was sunning in my favorite spot on the third floor. I forgot it was cleaning day and wasn't expecting my wicker basket to be in the doorway. Skidding on the hall rug to avoid it I bumped into the wall instead.
Obviously I had to give the treacherous basket a good thrashing, but I guess I shook it a little to vigorously and sent it sailing into my newly refilled food dish, splattering pellets in every direction.
Mom was annoyed (well, why was the dish on the floor anyway?).
Finally, it was treat time and things seemd to be settling down. I began my special "hurry, hurry, hurry, I'm starving" pretreat dance and I was really getting into it when suddenly I caught a claw on mom's skirt, lost my footing and ended up kind of dangling in mid-air for a few moments until mom was able to untangle my paw.
I just HATE when that happens!
The little brown rabbit was back. Mom is hoping he has a nest somewhere in the yard. She was tiptoing around, peering under bushes and into some clusters of tall plants.
"I don't think I should bother pulling up the high weeds," she was telling me. "If the bunny's nesting there, it might get upset and run away."
Yeah, right! Another great excuse for not weeding the yard. Nice try, mom!
After a relaxing afternoon nap in a warm pool of sunlight I stretched, loped off, and simply disappeared without a trace. Mom called and called, looked in all the usual hiding places, tried to entice me out with promises of treats - nothing worked! Where was I? Nobunny knew. I was lost in thought in some undisclosed location. I'm a creature of mystery . . . Oh, what the heck. This is boring! I'm gonna go get some lettuce. Maybe it's not too late for one of those treats.
Mom was all excited about a little brown rabbit visiting our yard. Peeking out the back window and snapping pictures - you'd think she'd never seen an adorable bunny before!
I'd have been deeply offended by the whole spectacle except that mom had gone out a gotten me more of my favorite treats. I guess I can forgive her a few little character flaws.
Mom ran out of my favotire treats today. She tried to interest me in several other treats she had on hand, some fresh veggies and a piece of apple, but I wasn't biting.
There's no excuse for this kind of carelessness! I'm very annoyed.
Another heat wave is over! I feel a poem bursting to get free:
The birds were throwing some kind of wild party in our backyard this afternoon. Eight little sparrow were splashing it up in the big birdbath at one time - ot was a regular bathing frenzy! All the feeders were fully occupied, too. Mom must have put something a little extra in the birdseed this time. A couple of pigeon had even taken over the squirrel feeder - quite a witty joke, though I didn't hear the squirrels laughing.
We get a lot of bird visitors but usually the squirrels are in control of the yard. Mom has what I believe is a fairly unique "backyard philosophy." She prefers wees to those psky flowers and plants that require all kinds of attention and special encouragement to grow. Squirrels are always welcome at the birdfeeders because they're going to be there anyway. Mom claims she practices a "laissez faire" policy. I think maybe it's just lazy.
We were watching a music program on TV when a singer I like came on - Seal. I couldn't have been more stunned - he isn't a seal at all, he's a human! I did think he sounded awfully good for a sea mammal.
Then they went to a commercial for a new movie about "the Beaver," and - you guessed it! - the Beav is just a human boy.
This is just the tip of the iceberg! If your looking foward to seeing Eagles, Bears, Dolphins, or Bulls play a ball game of some sort, you're in for a BIG disappointment - they're all humans!
And about that movie, "Reservoir Dogs"! . . .
We had an ugly incident in our house today - a spider showdown. You know, one of those "this web isn't big enough for the two of us" kind of things.
Apparently, two of our house arachnids, for reasons of their own, staked out the exact same corner and neither one was willing to back down. It didn't take long for things to turn nasty.
Eventually, after a lot of posturing on both side and some pretty impressive threat displays, mom decided it might not be such a good idea to "let nature take its course" in this case. A little timely intervention seemed like a better idea, so we scooped up the losing spider ( I supervised the operation) on a piece of paper and relocated him to more suitable accommodations where he could spin his web in peace.
Mom and I agreed that "we've got plenty of insects to go around - no need for our spiders to turn on each other."
I'm off lettuce for awhile. I've switched back to my rabbit pellets and hay, which I'd been shunning for several weeks. No reason, really. I just like to keep mom guessing what I'm up to. It's a policy decision, actually, to keep mom on her toes. Cats invented the concept and have been using the "finicky eater" technique very effectively for years. I think it works quite well for rabbits, too.
I'm just curious. Why did humans decide not to grow fur like most other mammals?
Think of all the time it would save - getting dressed in the morning, undressed at night, agonizing over "what to wear" when you have to go out somewhere. And it would cut down on laundry costs, not to mention all the money thrown away on clothes that just wear out and have to be replaced - money that could be spent on carrots and lettuce or yogurt treats!
You'd never have to worry about how you looked, either - you'd always look just right. Most important, you wouldn't have to be jealous of cute little critters or sleek wild cat, 'cause you'd have your own home-grown fur coats to show off in.
I'm not saying all our problems would be solved if people had just opted for fur instead of skin. But I think the world would certainly be a better place. And I'm not even going to get into the issue of whiskers! You may scoff, but they can be very useful when you find yourself in a tight spot. I wonder why humans don't grown them.
I've been offline for a week - you may have noticed. It hasn't been a vacation. I like to think of it as a "hiatus."
Not that anyone's threatening to "cancel" me. Mom just monopolized the coputer for 15 hours a day working on a big job so I couldn't make my regular entries. But here's a summary of what's been going on:
Wednesday: I found a new hiding spot. Mom couldn't find me at all for most of the day.
Thursday: Mom saw me coming out of the coffeemaker box - the jig is up. She's on to my new hideout.
Friday: I realized mom's been hording my favorite yogurt treats in the frig where I can't get at them! She claimed it's 'cause they need to be kept cold and my room gets too hot. I wasn't buying it. I think she's been eating them herself on the sly.
Saturday: The bat returned! Just when we thought the house was safe from marauding wildlife, a bat dropped in for a quick spin around the place. I don't think it could be the same one who visited us several times six years ago (until mom patched up the hole in the wall it was coming through), but it looked the same.
Frankly, after mom's impressive defense against the squirrel army, I was a bit disappointed with her whimpy approach to the bat - she claimed it kept dive-bombing her and she wasn't sure where it was going next. That's apparently why she kept ducking and making strange noises like "eek" and "aaahh." I had a secure spot under the ironing board where I was able to watch the action while mom "herded" the airborne intruder down the stairs and out the front door.
Then she complained it had interrupted her work and wasted 40 valuable minutes. I thought it was the highlight of the week!
Sunday: Mom taped up the spot where she thought the bat came in. The house remained batless.
Monday: Mom finished her job, drove into the city to deliver it then came home and crashed.
Tuesday: Life begins again! Everything's back to normal. Hiatus is over.
I've got a new favorite TV commercial. It used to be the Texico parrots, who not only sang and danced but wash customers' cars, operate the cash machine and the vending machines at the station - they're soooo talented! But now my favorite is the cute little chihuahua on the Taco Bell commercial. I love to watch him strut down the street to the rhythm of the salsa music, and he really delivers his line with style.
Of course, I certainly hope that, after he's enjoyed his taco, he gets together with the beautiful girl chihuahua - she looked so crushed when he trotted past her!
After all these years together mom still can't anticipate which treat I'm in the mood for from day to day! I can't believe she hasn't learned to read my mind yet! Or at least interpret my skillful "treat-begging" dances.
Honestly, I give her every imaginable hint - a variety of hops, circling patterns, and soulful looks to indicate the treats she's offering isn't the correct one. Occassionally I leap up to the treat shelf to assist her with the treat jars - she just claims I'm "interfering"!
Still, mom often has to offer me two or three different treats before she find the right one! Obviously her training hasn't been completely successful. I think it may be time for a refresher course.
To improve my mental skills, I jot down interesting observations. Here are a few I think are worth sharing:
I hope these observations are helpful.
Here's a trick you might like to try in your home to spice up a dull day. First, hide behind a convenient door - preferrably inside a dark room. Then, just as your human is about to walk by the doorway, dart out and slip between their feet. You'll find the effect is especially amusing if they're carrying something like a full cup of hot coffee.
I've found that no matter how often I try this trick it's always entertaining. One caution, though - be sure to not actually dart directly UNDER your human's feet. This can be painful and embarrassing. Also, you won't want to be in the line of fire of whatever they're carrying in that cup. Being drenched in hot liquid tends to take all the fun out of this trick!
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