[The Weird Guys Who Write Poems: The Anthology]
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My Bad Day

I had a bad last Thursday
it went sorta this way

I lost my truck, I lost my girl
my dog ran away, his name was Earl
the car exploded, house went up in smoke
I got robbed by some punks, and on a doughnut I choked
I lost my job, my savings was down to nill
that's when things started to go downhill

-Mark


A Little Kick

The was a father and son
who wanted to have some fun
so they went to a b-ball game
but they found it was kind of lame
because a player kicked a camera man
after diving for the ball to impress the fans
so the father and son left with disgust
and when asked why they said "We must"
and so the player paid what was due
but the camera man still tried to sue

-Chris


Pregame Fear

It was just a lazy morning
but now you're biting your nails
It was just a quiet afternoon
but now sweat fills the pails

It is the day of the big game
your friends say no need to fear
But you're nervous and scared
you manage to blurt our "Oh dear"

And now you're in the locker room
and now it's time for the show
And now your fear will disappear
when your team says "Let's go!"

-Jeff


[paperbag]

Paper or Plastic?

There once was a town with people loyal and true
Of what is destined to happen they hadn't a clue
In this town of many there was but one grocery store
The people were happy to shop there, it wasn't a chore

But then at the checkout counter one day
There arose a matter that wouldn't go away
The clerk looked at a man and began to inquire
"Paper or Plastic, which do you desire?"

From across the store there arose a shout
"Don't use Paper you'll just throw it out"
Another one yelled "Yeah, Plastic can't biodegrade
Save the earth, come to its aid!"

The intensity and anger began to incline
The man got an opinion from anyone in line
Everyone yelled what they thought was right
Soon this turned into a violent fight

The Plastic side met in the store's very back
There they made plans for their attack
The Paper side conferenced in the dairy aisle
And on all their faces there wasn't a smile

They went out in the town to gather more troops
Both sides more than willing to add to their groups
Every man, woman, and child had to choose
"Paper or Plastic, which would you use?"

The Paper side moved to the east, the Plastic side west
Each person with what he thought best
Their opinions they were determined to keep
I'm sure this has a moral but it's becoming kinda deep

- Mark


 [plasticbag]

The Week of The Test

It was the Friday morning of the first test
Hundreds of kids achieving their best
Filling in circles on a separate sheet
in a time limit you had to beat

It had math, spelling, and vocab
It was hard to keep tab
I've been taking it for many a year
but I still have some fear

But now I have to say goodbye
for now I have a test on vocabuli

-Jeff


The Posse of Weirdom
A Sequel to The Weirdom Wall

there once was a clan
of about twenty-some
identified as
a posse of weirdom

but lunacy was banned
and was to be illegal
which made them all outlaws
according to the rule

they grew more popular
and very influential
extraordinary strangeness
became a significant tool

still the club grew larger
as they roamed through the towns
loyal citizens rebelled
from places all around

it became so effective
they repealed the restriction
the sudden change
all seemed like fiction

the posse of weirdom
was an important key
in finally freeing the area
from formality

-Derrick


Mr. Z's Pants

When he came to our school in the fall of '94
he wore pants that weren't bought at any ordinary store
These pants were better than normal, better by far
for they bore the legendary Texaco Star
He was asked "Where did you get those, are there anymore"
he just said "Quiet, and turn to page 194"
Where they came from he never did say
they remain a mystery and legend to this very day

-Mark


The Terrible Hair Dilemma

There once was a man who had a care
About his head and its balding hair
And so he went and bought some Rogaine
But it didn't work and he went insane
And the folks around him thought he'd do harm
So they sent him off the the funny farm
But he wasn't really crazy, just a little weird
So he got hair transplanted to his head from his beard
So he's finished and now he's had his fun
And his hair adventure is over and done

-Chris




Foul shot

One second is left in the game
you're at the foul line and going insane
the game is on your shoulders the score is tied
right now you feel like want to hide
the first attempt you shoot like a brick
and you just wish there was something to kick
your hands are sweaty, your knees are weak
the adrenaline in your body is at its peak
the ref hands you the ball
you feel very very small
you remember how you shot the ball and feel like a jerk
and then you remember you have science homework
you concentrate with all your might
your stomach is very very light
the crowd is so loud it awakens the dead
your feet feel like buckets of lead
you shoot the ball that is what you do
do you make it? that depends on you

-Mark


The Game of Organization

with the papers piled
nothing filed
the mother walks into the room
"Son, clean your room or meet your doom
so let the games begin"
she said with a big grin
he started with the closet then under the bed
by 5 PM he felt dead

once he had a spot cleared out
he looked all about
he had no place to put it
as he fell apart bit by bit

then he knew it was more then putting
things in a different location
he had to get some organization
shirts on hanger, socks in the drawer
all the dirt to come off the floor

he cleared a path but still had much to do
cause with all the time wasted he had accomplished few
he collected the papers that covered the room
now he could finally vacuum

he dusted the desk then the trim
the light at the end of the tunnel was now dim
at 8 PM he was nearly complete
but what he needed was some sleep

he pushed to go on
half his breathing was done by yawn
he finished late at night
just in time to hear his parents say
"Don't let the bed bugs bite"

- Jeff


The Loss

You walk into the locker room and no one says a word
The whole team is shocked, the game was absurd
Some of the players are close to tears, some look rather sick
for your team was ahead near the clock's final tick
Your team was so close to a championship, so close to a win
If only that desperation shot had not gone in
But your team has to settle for second place
Then your coach takes you aside and adds to your disgrace
What he says makes the loss twice as hard
for the man who made the shot was the man you were to guard

-Mark

[Places] [Stories] [People] [Jason's stories] [Animals] [Poems that fit don't fit anywhere else]
Places  - Stories  - People - Jason's Stories  - Animals  - Poems that don't fit

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