Get Outa My Face!

Obviously, the major cause of annoyance for people who don't work in the computer industry is other people. How often do you consider how your actions are going to affect other people? Perhaps if we all spent more time thinking about other people we wouldn't have recieved the following.

Would You Do This In Your Own Home Town?

From: Mr Wild Pants in Farmborough
Tourists really get on my nerves. Especially the coach loads of French students that are pumped into my home town of Bath during the summer months of the year. The all congregate in the middle of town making noise or in HMV, stealing things. Little assholes. American tourists irritate the hell out of me as well. They come on our overcrowded buses and expect to have seats all to themselves. We may not have masses of space on our buses but at least we don't go around shooting each other!!!

Look, We Don't All Think You're Great, OK?

From: Mr Wild Pants in Farmborough
Chris Evans annoys me as well. He thinks he's god's gift to light entertainent and unfortunately moron TV bosses seem to agree with him. The fact that he is a talentless prick who has fewer brains than a stupid stone seems to make no odds to them. As for his self adoration of a radio show, i won't even start.
Right, i'm off to calm down.
[Editor's Note] Mr. Wild Pants has calmed down since.

Oh, Is That What Smells?

From: Norma in Massachusetts, USA
I live in an on-campus townhouse (an apartment with two floors). Residents are expected to do all routine maintenance and cleaning, including removal of garbage. I share a common landing with my next-door neighbors. I came home after work one afternoon to find a large bag of garbage on the landing. Since I knew my neighbors were also working long hours, I let it slide, expecting the trash to be removed by the following day.
The trash ended up sitting on the landing for a week. It was a very hot week, and the stench was horrible! I would have removed it myself, except I knew that if I did it once, they would expect me to do it all the time.
I left notes. I called them. Nothing. Finally, I called campus maintenance. They called my neighbors, threatening to fine them if the trash was not removed.
The trash was finmally removed that afternoon.

Actually I Feel Like Shit

From: I Say, Porter in Italy
Why do people ask "how are you" when they meet you for the first time in the day? I mean, they're not really interested. "How are you?" "Well, actually I feel like shit, I got pissed last night and arrested on the way home for trying to shag a lamp post. When I got in I found a note saying my wife had left me and taken the kids, then a letter arrived this morning from the Building Society foreclosing on my mortgage and I've got to be out of the house by the end of the week. How are you?", "Oh I'm fine. See you later, then."

Get Off Your Back!

From: Paul in London
Rucksacks!!!!! Unless you've been frozen in suspended animation for the last 5 years you cannot have failed to notice the massive increase in use. If only people would remember that they've got the bloody thing over their shoulder it would make life a lot safer! I for one am sick and tired of being bashed around the head by these brainless twats. They're particularly dangerous on railway and tube platforms. LT should make a rule that you have to take the damned things off and carry them as soon as you get through the entrance because one of these days someone is going to get seriously, if not fatally hurt!! They also take up twice the space of one person, which is no fun in the London rush hour. I bought one a few weeks ago - I've used it once, when I went abroad for a long weekend, but I was very careful to avoid people with it, and to take it off and carry it whenever neccessary. What I'd like to know is, what to people carry around with them that they didn't need 5 years ago!!

Faggers

From: Chris Morrison in Birmingham, UK
I hate smokers. Not just because they make my clothes smell in pubs and damage my health, but I hate them just throwing fag ends on the street. These are normal people, most of whom would save any other piece of litter for the nearest bin, but they seem to think that it's OK, that fag ends aren't really litter. I especially hate it if they leave them burning.

I Feel Shite, Thank you

From: Phil, Ex-Pat Geordie in Dublin
Aside: I'm not the same Phil as the "fat rant" author. I have a problem with people who ask, usually using a more sombre tone than in prior conversation, "And how are you feeling in yourself?" To date, I have always replied "Fine", since I don't understand the question. I have an inkling that it means something along the lines of "Come on, tell me the truth, your life's falling apart isn't it?" Do people really expect me to tell them that, simply because I have some feeling "in myself"...where the hell else am I supposed to feel anything?
Oh, and while I'm at it.. "I like him as a person"....not much use as a nest of tables then is he? What a pathetic phrase. Just use another verb to differentiate between different kinds of affection: love, like, adore, lust after, be friends with...but for pity's sake, don't like someone as a person.

Eee by Gum!

From Ryan.
I am *FUCKING* tired of people who chew gum, and don't have the common courtesy of finding a *FUCKING* trash can to spit it in after they are done! Instead they carelessly spit it out on the ground, and invariably, it seems as though I *ALWAYS* step on it after it has baked in the sun for a few hours. My birkenstocks *ALWAYS* seem to have gum on the bottom. How hard is it to wait until you can spit the gum into a SHIT CAN, toilet, or other generally accepted means of disposal?
Furthermore, the only form of life that is lower than the casual gum spitter-outer are the yo-yo's who think it is appropriate to dispose of gum by sticking it under tables or desks. Where did this lame ass idea come from, and why hasn't it become extinct like the dinosaurs??

Taking the Wild out of Wilderness

From: Dave in Fairbanks, Alaska
To all of the worldly travelers out there that decide to vacation in Alaska to see what life is like in the "wilderness":
The wilderness is not what you see along the roadways from the window of an RV (recreational vehicle/motorhome/infernal-god-forsaken-rancid-behemoth-of-a-road-way curse) while driving at 35 miles per hour. I realize that about 99.99% of the world knows and revolves around the metric system. I also know that the U.S. is probably the only hold-outs still using the English measurement systems, but the signs all over the roads that say "SPEED LIMIT 65" are *NOT WRITTEN IN FRICKEN KILOMETERS PER HOUR* It's 360 miles from here to the nearest city worth visiting and would like to make it there sometime before winter hits! If it weren't for the fact that one of the state's biggest industries is tourism, without which we could face some serious economic hardships, I would just assume you people forget that we even exist!
You certainly seem to do a good job forgetting that we are indeed a part of the United States and have been living in the 20th Century for the better part of the last 100 years! No we don't live in igloos. It would kind of be a pisser in spring when they melt. And additionally, no one in Alaska *ever* lived in igloos. That was something the Inupiat of Canada came up with. Yes we have TV's, phones, and electricity (except for some pretty remote places), and most Alaskans even have running water and indoor plumbing (although certainly not all).
If you come to Alaska to see the wilderness, here's a clue: you aren't going to find it looking out the window of a tour bus or a camper/RV/motorhome. The best way to see the Alaskan wilderness is to get a truck and haul ass out a dirt road, stop at some random point, get out of the vehicle and begin walking perpendicular to the road. If you're lucky you may get to have a close encounter with a mother bear or moose and her cubs/calves. And if we're lucky, we'll find the keys still in the truck.

Asserting Your Rights

From: DJ in the USA
Tight ass, better then you, Non-Smokers!
I really hate the little shits that think that because they don't choose to smoke, they can then prevent me from doing so, or try to shove down my throat some shit about health or second hand smoke or whatever.
Granted, I don't approve of littering and throwing the butts anywhere you see fit. I save them until I can get to the nearest trash can. Ok, you can't smoke in the stores or public buildings, thats fine, I can deal with that, but fer-christs-sakes, telling me I can't smoke in a Pub? Or how bout when I went into the local Applebee's the other day (little restaurant/bar chain for you non-merkins) They seat us in a little round table 2 1/2 feet or so away from the bar (marked as the smoking section) As I start to light up the waiter speaks "Sorry, you can't smoke here, you're in the non-smokeing section" I say "What? I'm 2 feet away from the bar!" he replies harshly, "Well the bar is in the smoking section and your table is not!" So I moved my chair 12 inches back so the back legs crossed into the smokeing section and proceded to light up. Little self absorbed prick.

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