What Are They Doing To Our Language?

You know who they are. Those people who invent words because they don't know how to construct simple grammar. They're trying to turn the beautiful English language into some kind of business tool. The words they use defy all attempts at definition. Let us know of any irritating non-words you hear people use.

You might also be interested in checking out the page of Management Gibberish that ought to be here but isn't, somehow.

A Serious Facial Egg Situation

From: CACSADE
Someone actually said this to me. We were in a business meeting discussing why our new product didn't actually work. They guy said that "This has put the company in a serious facial egg situation." I laughed because I thought he was joking. I laughed so much I almost soiled myself. He didn't see the joke. Feeling a real need to go to the bathroom I left with the excuse that I needed to "Log Off".

To Leverage

From: Everybody
We all know that English is the only language in which every noun can be verbed. But can you see how it is possible to turn the noun "lever" into the verb "to leverage"? And then to use it in the context "We will be using this product to leverage our position in the marketplace". What does this mean? NOTHING that's what it means. I do not actually understand what marketing people mean when they say that. They do it because they think long words make them sound clever. And they do, but only to people with less of a grasp of English than the marketing men. Which at least encompasses everone under the age of 1. And some Chinese people too. These days I leave the room when the start leveraging things. Well, I don't know how to do it.

Where's the Challenge?

From: Phil (no more information given)
No offence to overweight people, but they're fat, aren't they? But I now have to call them Horizontally Challenged? You what? Exactly what is the challenge? To grow thinner by the day? Doesn't the very phrase Horizontally Challenged imply that they are 'not normal' and that being thin is right way to be. And is it not therefore more insulting to call a fat person Horizontally Challenged than to call them fat? Why can we simply not call them overweight or fat? People do not have the right to not be offended. If you're short, tall, thin, fat, spotty, bald, or whatever then that's what you are. Live with it. It's not a problem.

Here's One!

From: Florian
The English language has some good things going for it, but it *has* many misfeatures. It is not perfect as some might have you believe. Most languages have one sound to a letter or a few letters (a diphthong) because they have had major revision in the last one hundred years to keep up with growing vocabulary and lingual changes. Our language has not had major changes in the past one hundred years. English has silent letters(eg. plumber should be pronounced as plumer, but don't tell some people who learned African English that), diphtongs that make the same sounds as letters (eg. rough sounds like ruf), and other spelling idiosyncrsies(eg. schedule can be said as skedule or shedule).
The Spelling Spelling Society has some very good solutions to this English spelling insanity.http://www.les.aston.ac.uk/sss
[Editor's Comment] Soundz like a lowd of bulkrap to me.

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