Poems I've written over the years...

Direction

I walk all alone.
I feel I've been thrown
Like a pebble or stone;
Yet, my destiny unknown.

My life is all wrong,
As each day drags on.
I try to remain strong
But the memory lives on.

I feel trapped in this world;
With my feelings unfurled.
Your memory's been swirled
As my mind has been whirled.

The devil has lied.
Now there's nowhere to hide.
With no one by my side
Who will be my guide?

Jesus on the cross
Is the answer to my loss.
Now He will be my boss,
No matter what the cost.

Rejection

Once again,
I give out my heart
And just like always,
It gets ripped apart.

I try to hold my feelings back
But I slip and give it a shot.
Now I'm filled with endless hurt
And yet no compassion can be bought.

I don't understand why.
What's wrong with me?
You say that there's no problem,
But I can't make you see.

You're not the only one
That has ever done this to me
It's time and time again.
Does anyone hear my plea?

Show me my reflection
Only through your eyes.
Leave no detail uncovered
And don't tell me any lies.

Now it's your turn.
You can forget me or tell me all that's true.
But I'll leave that decision
Only for you...

On My Knees

Here I am again,
Wallowing in my shame.
I'm hiding from the world
And I've no one to ease the pain.

The broken heart that never heals
Has once again been torn,
My body feels numb and lifeless
And my heart is full of scorn.

So, once again I'm on my knees
Begging you to hear me,
But you walk along your one-way path
As if you cannot see me.

The looks you do not give me
Hurt more than if you tried.
If only you would listen
Then you would surely see my side.

You and him are so different
And the situations, too,
So how can you expect the results
To be the same for you?

Just give me a chance to prove to you
That I could be the one,
Please let me try and you will see
That I really can be fun.

Valentine

You stood firm next to me,
As I swayed within my fear.
You were my everlasting wall of protection,
And always the one I'll hold dear.

I've lost my heart to you
And if you'd ever hold me,
I would melt away in your arms.
Because in your eyes I see forever, honey.

Yet, there are no words
For me to find at all,
I wish that someday
My name you would call.

But sometimes I see you
And you don't know I'm there.
Still I smile through a thousand tears
While the pain grows stronger over the years.

I crawl to you on my knees
And now I'm lost in your dark, abandoned world.
You just ripped out my heart and left it for me
And now I'm trapped in my desires, as my mind has been whirled.

Take me with you
To your forbidden world
And just for a moment, let me pretend
That I might be your girl.

You are a wave upon the sand
Never to be bound.
A sought out treasure
Never to be found.

The ultimate prize
At the end of the race.
But still no competitors
Have won at your game.

"To cherish isn't enough
And to respect doesn't come close"
Is what I'll have said about you
When all is said and done.

?

I often wonder if I die, would you care?
If you never saw me again, would you know I wasn't there?
Sometimes I wish I'd die just to see if you'd forget.
I'd want to see who's at my funeral and who cries with their regrets.
I'd like to be able to come back and tell you-Don't worry; you're forgiven-Because I'd see all the pain and suffering, that so long to me, was hidden.
But what if no one notices, and my spirit goes to Heaven, free?
Whenever you get to Heaven, do you think you'd recognize me?