Poems that I've written over the years...

Forbidden Trust

As I stand here
Wallowing in my shame
Out of me escapes a tear
That seems to let out all the pain.

I stare through an invisible mirror
While the look on your face,
Seems to bring me fear.

I know not how to hide
Or where to turn,
I'm burning up inside
Yet, I know I'll never learn.

Your frustration
And my forbidden trust
Can only lead to the situation of leaving
Which we both know is a must.

I can never say the unspoken words,
And I feel trapped, longing for the desires
Only you can give, but yet I don't deserve.

My mind is on fire,
I can't think of the right things to say.
I know I'll only make myself out to be a liar
Because my heart is so far away.

I really don't want to go,
I have no one else to turn to
So you really ought to know
Every last one of my thoughts will be of you.

Net-Romance

Today I met a hero,
From far away he came.
All we had were words,
But I loved him just the same.

I'm sure his eyes were heaven
And his heart full of love.
He would've been my knight in shining armor
And I his lady love.

My mind paints a masterpiece
Of endless fields and sunsets.
But still I'm looking at the screen
And only see the net.

My wistfulness soon carries me
Into empty daydreams,
Roses and cherry blossoms,
Aren't always what they seem...

But my heart wants to know
The meaning of destiny,
And also that leaving
Sometimes means an eternity.

This fragment of history
Stay so sweetly in my mind,
But the tears will keep on falling
Till the day when truth I find...

Fallen Angel

One night,
I dreamt I met an angel...

I felt the warm touch;
Saw the bright light;
Heard the soft voice.

My eyes,
Were blinded by the beautiful soul...

Love seemed to envelop me.
Innocence filled my eyes,
And I could feel my heart rejoice.

I felt myself reaching,
Trying to touch the being...

All at once, day turned to night,
Warmth turned to cold and my eyes were opened.
The angel in my dream had fallen from grace.

I woke up thinking how I, too,
Had fallen away from Jesus...

I remember my feelings in the dream,
Knowing I'd experienced,
For a brief second, Peace.

I remember looking up from my bed,
Seeing my dream as reality...

Because on my mantle,
Was that little angel
With the broken wings.

Reminding me of the message
God sent me that night, which, in turn, changed my life...

Flames Of Ice

Lost souls, blinded by ignorance and pride. Wandering aimlessly through the depths of endless, disgusting emptiness. The annoyance of life haunting them. Truth deafening numb ears. Wide, worn paths of deception winding their way through their souls. Flames of ice and darkness inhabit their hearts. Their eyes filled of ashes, their souls having been burnt out. Daggers of silk penetrating unaccepting hearts. Hurtful thoughts escaping their mouths, crushing sensitive souls. Hollow reveries followed by prevaricating feelings. Mendacious hearts only give paltering love.

Reflections

A little girl sits in her room,
Rocking...
Sobbing...

As she clutches her teddy bear,
News of her daddy's death in war
Floods her mind,
And she's taken over with despair.

Her thoughts focus on flowery canopies
At Sunday afternoons in the park
And many many late night tea parties.

He had been her knight in shining armor,
The true hero of her heart.
Now daddy's arms weren't there to comfort her.
And they'd forever be apart...

Years down the road,
The same little girl sits in the same room,
Rocking...
Sobbing...

The man that had won her heart over,
And promised never to leave her,
Had been in a car accident
And now the memory of him was a blur.

She thinks of the sweet words,
Soft touches, innocent smiles,
And the true love they'd shared.

She wonders how she'll live without him.
Part of her now gone, there's an emptiness and the pain in her heart overtakes,
One last sob escapes, as her broken heart shatters
And her soul grows dim...