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	\| home \| links \| notes \| asemanari \| impreuna \| perfect \| e.mail \| \| cartea 1 \| cartea 2 \| cartea3 \| cartea4 \| cartea 5 \| cartea 6 \| cartea 7 \| cartea 8 \| cartea9 \| cartea 10 \| cartea 11 \| cartea 12 \| cartea13 \| cartea 14 \| cartea 15 \| cartea 16 \| cartea 17 \| cartea 18 \| cartea 19 \| cartea 20 \| cartea 21 \| \| cartea 22 \| cartea23 \| cartea24 \| cartea 25 \| cartea 26 \| cartea 27 \| cartea 28 \| cartea 29 \| cartea 30 \| cartea 31 \| cartea 32 \| cartea 33 \| cartea 34 \| cartea 35 \| cartea 36 \| cartea 37 \| cartea 38 \| cartea 39 \| cartea 40 \| cartea 41 \| \| cartea 42 \| cartea 43 \| cartea 44 \| cartea 45 \| cartea 46 \| \| cartea 47 \| cartea 48 \| Invatatura 3..... Audio Completind poza omului Caseta nr. 3 Aceasta disckutie include numerele 5 si 6 pe diagrama de mai jos care nu a fost inclusa in caseta nr. 2 Poza omului diagrama E In ultimele 2 saptamini, in timp ce am facut munca, incepem probabil sa observam ginduri varioase trecind prin mintea noastra spunind lucruri din astea: „Nu vad nimic valoros in asta” „Lasa totul balta” Citiva Nu Eu’s care incearca sa ma imbunatatesc vin si spun „Pai tu esti deja vai de capul tau” „Este teribil” „Nu vreau sa aflu toate astea despre mine” Poate ca crezi ca ar trebui sa faci multe schimbari bruste ca sa schimbi totul. Alt Nu Eu spune, „La ce folos, ca nu se schimba nimic, face numai si mai rau”. Acum.... toate acestea sint foarte naturale ca sa ti se intimple, si se intimpla pentru fiecare care ia invatatura aceasta pt. Interiorul sau, ca sa se cunoasca pe el insusi. Toate aceste indoieli au venit pentru ca unul incepe sa descopere anumite lucruri care nu sint exact placute si nu in concordanta cu vanitatea, in special in timp ce le scriem jos si ne uitam la ele. Dar este esential. Primul lucru este ca sa fim cunoscatori de interiorul nostru ca sufletul nostru sa treaca printr-o transformare. Daca unul nu stie interiorul sau, nu este nici o speranta de nici o transformare. Unul poate sa ascunda sufletul sau, tinindu-l acoperit, si sa nu-si-l vada, dar tot distruge. Deci hai sa continuam munca noastra aducind-o la constiinta noastra, sa fim constienti de ea, si sa fim atenti la ea. In time ca poate ca nu va fi prea placut la acest moment, are totusi valoare mare. De data aceasta vom completa poza omului cu care am inceput (poza omului cum il gasim in starea sa in care a fost conditionat sa fie). Avem ideea de baza ca motivul trairii este ca sa nu fim tulburati. Avem patru idei de imbunatatire ale omului, care sint facute ca el sa ajunga la acea stare de netulburare. 1. Ca sa se planga. Acesta nu a mers pina acum 2. Ca sa sara la drepturile lui. Nici acesta nu a mers pina acum prea bine, si de multe ori aduce o reactie violenta de la altii. 3. Incercarea de a-i multumii pe oameni. De multe ori merge, dar creeaza razboi intern 4. Sa crezi si sa faci cum unul este invatat de autoritatile lui. Chiar daca e din ziare, carti, televizor, sau din ce spune cineva, sau de vreo autoritate pe care o intilnesc in afacerile mele. Am scris jos pina acum cum le punem in practica pe toate aceste idei de inbunatatire. Acum, urmatoarea decizie pe care infantul o face este: 5. CA ESTE IMPORTACT SA FI DIFERIT In alte cuvinte, modul prin care am ajuns la aceasta stare a fost printr-un conflict, deci „Eu ar trebui sa fiu diferit”. Deci aici vine efortul sa pun un zid intre mine si ceilalti. Este lucrul care sa fie, sa fac asa.... oamenii ma vor aproba, imi vor da atentie, si ca voi arata bine si ca ma voi putea accepta pe mine. Dar totul este pe dinafara. Nu este pentru starea me interna de a „descoperii ca aici este un mod de a ma comporta, un lucru de facut”. Este ca sa pun un zid in fata, ca sa impresionez pe oameni. Aceste a fost referat ca si Scribul si Pharrisees. Definitia Scriburilor si Pharasitilor ... Scriburile si Pharasitii sint profesorii oamenilor la orice perioada din timp care nu sint ingrijorati cu statutul intern al omului, dar numai cu comportamentul de la suprafata – cu ritualul pentru dragul ritualului. Eu un asa de mult accent pe detaliile de minut din minut ale comportarii si fac acestea asa de importante ca urmasii lor sint constanti intr-o stare de neliniste ca si cum ei fac sau nu fac corect. Rezultatul este ca ei sint retinuti din a se observa ei singuri si din a se evalua ei singuri, pentru ca daca ei s-ar re-evalua singuri, ai ar trebui sa intrebe pe autoritati. Pentru acesta, de obicei sint pedepsiti foarte aspru. Prin a incerca ca sa apar ca sa fiu diferit, incepem sa construim bariere peste cele 4 la care ne-am uitat la acest timp. Si sintem de obicei neconstienti de cum merg. Noi le dam alte nume. Noi nu le descriem cum le-am descris foarte clar in aceasta poza pe care o construim. Deci, avem partea B, deasupra celei care spune sa-i multumim pe toti, adica care spune „ESTE IMPORTANT CA SA FIU DIFERIT. Acesta este comportamentul diferit pe care persoana incearca, si citeodata, ceilalti reactioneaza. Unul are o explozie de temperament. Unul are o explozie de invidie. Unul are o stare de jelozie, sau orice, dar toate acestea vor continua sa apara. Atunci, desigur, ca vom da cele alte nume si vom incerca sa le descriem diferit in timp ce aparem sa fim diferiti. Dar acesta nu aduce nici o pace pentru persoana si copilul (probabil de 7 sau 8 ani acum) face o alta decizie. Copilul decide: 6. ESTE IMPORTANT CA TOTI INCONJURUL MEU SA FIE DIFERITI (DA VINA) In partea A, el vine cu o decizie solida, care o vom pune in opozitie cu cea care spune ca „este important ca sa fiu diferit”. Copilul descopera ca defapt, „Este vina la toti ceilalti ca el nu era diferit mereu”. Deci copilul spune ca tot timpul acesta sa nu fie pierdut, si sa se decida „PE CINE SA DEA VINA”. Deci hai sa punem aici simplu, A DA VINA. Acum, cind o persoana da vina pe altcineva, el incearca sa ii puna la punct, ca sa faca ce ar trebui sa faca iar aopi, desigur, totul va fi bine pentru mine. Atunci voi putea sa continul cu iluzia ca sint destul de diferit, pentru ca nu va fi nimic care sa ma supere, aparind ca sint diferit, prin a pune aceasta masca de a ma comporta diferit. Nu vor fi nici un fel de provocari, daca toata lumea ar fi diferita, deci, construim socoteli impotriva tuturor care ies in cale pe care putem sa dam vina. Acum aceasta este o idee fundamentala ale acestei scoli – ca noi construim Socoteli... In alte cuvinte, noi stabilim pe cine sa Dam Vina, si spunem ca acea persoana ne datoreaza scuze, sau ca ne datoreaza pentru tot ce nea facut, sau ca imi datoreaza ca sa se comporte diferit. Idea scolii spune, „Acesta este povara pe care orice om o cara”. Este ce il imbatrineste pe om. Este ce il desintegreaza incet pe om. Un aspect mare ale acestei idei, este”Socotelile primite”. Am avut impotriva noastra pe toti oamenii. Este prin a da vina si ca ei ar trebui sa fie diferiti. Copilul decide ca daca toti ar fi diferiti, atunci el ar fi la pace in sine, plin de placere si fericit cit poate el sa fie. Dar toti nu sint diferiti, deci ei sint de vina si ei imi datoreaza mie acum! Noi avem acum 6 idei de baza pentru imbunatatire proprie si idealul mare, deci avem o poza a Omului, fiecare din noi, dupa cum sintem in fiecare zi – pina cind am studiat noi singuri si observind ce se intimpla pentru un timp. Acest timp nu este hotarit. Vom face acest lucru intr-un numar rezonabil de luni sau saptamini, dar nu va dispare diseara. Noi vrem sa fim constienti de acest lucru. Vrem sa fin constienti ca se intimpla. Deci noi vom adauga 2 foi de hirtie ca sa observam. O alta pagina in carte. TEMA Scrie jos cin „Eu ar trebui sa fiu diferit” De fiecare data cind observi „AR TREBUI SA FII FOST DIFERITA” sau „EU PUN UN ANUMIT ZID SI COMPLIC POVESTEA UN PIC” - scrie jos. Din noi, acesta nu este pentru alti oameni ca sa citeasca. Este pentru folosul tau personal. Pe alta hirtie, scrie jos toti oamenii pe care pui vina si ce ar trebui sa faca ca sa plateasca pt. Tot ce au facut. Acum, cineva, fara nici o indoiala, ti-a cerut scuze. Acel lucru ti-a oprit durerea? Sau tu inca continui sa te ti de ei un pic? Adu-ti aminte de incidentul acela si vezi cum te simti. Hai sa spunem ca cineva te-a inselat si apoi si-a cerut scuza sau au uitat cind este ziua ta, sa aniversarea voastra, sau a promis ca sa te ia la o petrecere si a uitat, apoi nu a venit pina seara tirziu acasa. Si-au cerut scuze si au spus ce rau le pare. Hai sa ne reamintim acele incidente si sa vedem daca inca mai simtim ca ne datoreaza, ca ne-au tratat murdar, sau ca ne simtim raniti. Nu vom vedea toate incidentele dar putem desigur sa adaugam un pic la ele in fiecare zi si fiecare adaugare este cunoscind mult despre aceasta conditionare care ne controleaza existenta noastra, si daca putem spune, NE DISTRUGE EXISTENTA NOASTRA. In primul rind, este in conflict, nu? A impotriva lui B si B impotriva lui A. Persoana adevarata cu o vointa nici nu este acolo – acela este un mit, este mitologie despre care acum citeste. Intr-o zi, vom avea o vointa. Poata ca toata conditionarea poata sa dispara. Dar la acest moment, sintem interesati in a cunoaste despre conditionare si a observind cum creste. Fara sa fim constienti de aceasta conditionare, cum lucreaza, nici nu vom crede ca exista. De obicei vine cu un soc mare pentru oricine din noi ca sa descoperim ca defapt este inauntrul nostru. Este ca si cum avem o casa frumoasa si gasim dintr-odata ca este infestata pina la punctul de distrugere cu termites. – am fi foarte socati. Daca nu descoperim termiturile niciodata, nu vom face nimic despre acest lucru pina cind casa fa cade si atunci va fi prea tirziu. Deci, am vedea toate aceste lucruri despre conditionare ca si termites. Si ca ei incet, dar de sigur, slabesc pe un om. Avem orice motiv ca sa ii observam. Pentru cei din voi care ati observat inapoi pentru poza completa, Imi pare rau ca a luat asa de mult timp, dar a sta in viata a fost prima valoare in timpul acestui sezon. De sigur, Eu valorez punerea zidului pe job. Eu nu van nici o valoare in a arata ca sint depresionat sau mofturos. De multe ori, gasesc ca atunci cind incep performanta si reactionez, ca pina cind termin, ca sint sus, si toate gindurile care mi-au spus ca totul nu merge bine au fost in adevar – minciuni. Munca de a vedea ca „ESTE IMPORTANT CA EU SA FIU DIFERIT ESTE PERSONAL..... SI NUMAI PENTRU PAGINA DIN CARTE. As vrea de asemenea sa adaug ca atunci cind Observ pe altii „ca da vina”, ca un Nu Eu sare in sus si spune, „ei nu ar trebui sa spuna asa despre ala”, Este dificil ca sa imi amintesc ca acela este de asemenea un Nu Eu, si slujba noastra nu este ca sa ii schimbam pe altii – este numai ca sa observam fara a critica, judecind sau a invinovatii, este numai asa si asa, este invinovatie, sau individualitatea, este invinovatita. Atunci, unul poate fi dupa un alt motiv, despre care noi doar am sugerat. TINE O STARE BUNA SI NU FA NIMIC IMPORTANT. Expectatie si ciclul adaptarii Caseta 3 Vom incepe cu o poza noua astazi. Vom vorbi deste expectatie si vom desena o poza dupa cum expectatia merge. Deci, hai sa luam o bucata de hirtie si sus, in mijloc scrie „Expectatii”. Apoi, dincolo, pe partea dreapta, hai sa punem „bazat pe ce ideal”. Acum, noi ne amintim ca idealul este ca sa recapata starea de netulburare prin a cistiga placerea si a scapa durerea pe toate nivelele. Vrem placere, de comfort fizical, senzatii fizicale; si noi vrem senzatia de atenite favorabila. Noi vrem placerea de a ne simti important, si de a fi capabili de a controla pe alti oameni Noi vrem sa recapatam starea de netulburare prin a scapa durerea fizicala. Vrem sa evitam a fiind ignorat sau rejectat. Vrem sa evitam dezaprobarea. Si vrem sa evitam simtamintul de a ne simti inferiori, pentru ca lucrurile nu se intimpla cum vrem noi. Oamenii nu fac ce vreau ei sa faca. Acum, noi avem o expectatie bazata pe idealul – prima decizie, cea care este desenata jumatate de cerc negru pe poza omului cum este el in starea sa de conditionare. Totul ce facem este bazat pe expectatie. Nu incepem sa facem nimic dace noi simtim ca a fost adevarat si valoros. Expectam ca va merge asa cum vedem noi ca va merge. Si ce este valoros catre noi in starea conditionata este ca sa nu fim tulburati. Ce este adevarat pt. Noi este ce aceasta actiune ne va aduce. Ar fi oricare dintre cele sase decizii ale cele patru urgii de baza, sau poate altceva in viata de zi si zi. Nu am pune o keie in lacat pina cind nu expectam ca se va deschide. Nu am pune toate ingredientele diferite in cratita ca sa gatim pinca cind nu expectam ca se vor gati si ca cineva le va minca si le va place. De asemenea expectam ca fiecare gind pe care il avem de gratificare va fi implinit. Expectam ca dace ne plingem, ca toti vor intelege si ca vor face ce vreau eu ca ei sa faca. Expectam ca daca ne demandam drepturile noastre, ca toti vor vedea drepturile noastre si le vor face. Nu se intimpla asa de obicei, si de obice sintem inconstienti de expectatie. Deci, hai sa facem expectatiile constiente. Vom scrie jos, „Expectatiile Noastre” pe foaia de hirtie. Dincolo, vom scrie idealul (ce ar trebui sa fie ca sa avem). Putem apoi sa descoperim cite expectatii sint bazate pe idea de baza ca tot motivul trairii noastre este ca sa nu fim tulburati. Vom observa ca relatiile interpersonale, adica dintre mine si pesoanele, ca unul este dezamagit pentru ca unul are expectatie ca toata lumea este constienta. Vom gasi ca credem ca ei stiu ce este corect, potrivit si drept, dar ei merg inainte facing rau oricum (impotriva agapei) Vom gasi ca expectam ca toti stiu ce vreau eu si ce este bine si pe ce pun valoare, si ca ei vor reactiona in consecinta.. In aceasta vom gasi multe dezamagiri. Deci, vom pune pe foaia noastra de hirtie, sau pe o alta foaie separata, lista dezamagirilor mele. Vom scrie jos toate timpurile cind am fost dezamagit in aceasta saptamina si in saptaminile care vor vernii. Apoi, vom putea sa le observam. Vom vedea ce ideal am avut in minte. Poate ca idealul este ca cineva ar trebui sa-si aduca aminte de ziua mea. Dar ei au avut alte lucruri de facut, si ei au uitat. Vom decide ca ei m-au ignorat intentionat. Acesta, fiind ignorat si rejectat este durere. Cind unul este dezamagit, unul se simte ranit, sau ignorat, sau rejectat, sau dezaprobat. Acesta continua ca sa vada pe cine sa dea vina cind sintem conditionati. Deci, pe foaia noastra de hirtie, vom avea un titlu aditional, de „Ce sau pe cine dau eu vina pentru dezaprobarea si durerea mea. Vom gasi ca aceasta este unde experientam supararea, vinovatia, frica si insecuritatea. Pe foaia noastra de hirtie, sau pe foile noastre de hirtie, putem acum sa punem titluri de acele patru emotii si asemanari de a fi nemultumit, jelos, inferior, si orice alte lucruri pe care le descoperim. Sub acelea, vom pune marci si cind vom lua patru din ele, marcheaza o cruce prin ele, pentru al cincelea. Decim am inceput cu expectaiile bazape pe un ideal, care ne duce la dezamagire, care ne duce la durere, care ne duce ca sa ne uitam pe cine sa dam vina, care ne duce la emotii de neplacere. Aceasta este o diagrama minca alei starii noastre interne, muncind pe mine si pe constiinta conditionata. Vrem ca sa fim constienti de funcia ei si cum functioneaza. Nu incercam sa o schimbam, noi doar ne familiarizam cu ea. Emotii A da vina- regret, As fi vrut ca sa nu fi facut acel lucru Frica – ceva nu este bine pentru noi, dar nu stim pe ce sa dam vina Ingrijorare – acesta se poate intimpla, dar eu nu stiu Insecuritate – incapacitatea ca sa controlez situatia Sub aceste emotii si liniuta, marcari, trage doua sageti indreptindu-se in jos, si scrie cuvintul STRES Stres este ce corpul sau functia motorului reactioneaza catre. Corpul reactioneaza la o ardere, sau la cadere, dar noi sintem interesati in stresul intern. Stresul care origineaza din statutul intern al unei fiinte, in alte cuvinte, expectatia idealului care nu este realizat. Corpul merge intr-o stare de imbalans chimical si de tensiune muschiulara nervoasa. Cind sintem suparati, speriati, sau simtindu-ne foarte nesiguri, noi-i spunem lui X, ca sintem in urgenta, si X trimite mesaje jos catre functia motorului ca sa schimbe corpul cu multa energie ca sa lupte sau sa fuga. (Schimbarea vine din folosul anumitor hormoni din glandele canalurilor. Aceste sint adrenaline, thiroxine, pituitary, extract si o schimbare mare al glycogenului din ficat) Unul este schimbat complet pentru statutul de urgenta (o provocare foarte violenta fizicala), dar noi doar am fost raniti pentru ca nu am realizat idealul, si deci, netulburarea. Acum, noi avem un imbalans chimical, si tensiune nervoasa muchiulara. A plecat de la psihologie la fiziologie, si acesta a avut nevoie de ceea ce noi numim ADAPTARE. Nu putem trai cu corpul fiind tot schimbat pentru a se lupta ca sa fuga. Dar nici o lupta sau alergare nu ia loc. Acum, X incepe o adaptatie ca sa inlocuiasca corpul catre balansul chimicat pentru timpul actual, locul si circumstantele. Tu poti sa stai jos intr-o camera calduroasa pe o sofa cu nici o violenta fizicala, de oriune, dar inauntru este TULBURARE MARE. Citeodata este acumulatie de aceasta tulburare. Deci, atunci, aceasta ADAPTATIE ia unul sau doua forme: 1. Cel mai familiar este NEFAMILIARA ACTIVITATE CELULARA. Un grup ce celule incep sa faca ceva ce de obicei nu fac in schimb ca sa foloseasca energia mobilizata si neeliberata din imbalansul chimical si tensiunea nervoasa a muschilor din sensul de a fi suparat, vinovat, fricos, invidios(de a fi intr-o stare de urgenta) Activitanea celulara neobisnuita este cunoscuta ca schimbare in functie. Deci citva aspect al corpului incepe sa functioneze diferit. Intotdeauna rezulta in schimbare in senzatie din ce este de obicei si este experientat ca si durere fizicala, plenitudine, simtindu-te greu, teapan, durere sau febra. Apoi, de sigur ca devine o urgenta, pentru ca „Am fost dezamagit” si acum dintr-o data ma simt aspru. Ma doare peste tot, necomfortabil fizical, si incep sa ma uit din ce cauza sint in discomfort fizical. (Cauza inseamna desigur invinovatia, nu? Ca ma uit pe ce sa dau vina) Deci, pe ce este de dat vina pentru aceasta senzatie, si aceasta schimbare in functie. Trebuie sa fie gripa, sau poate sa fie cancer, sau poate sa fie SIDA – nu pot sa spun ce este. Trebuie sa fie ceva rau. Este sperietor, deci nu mai este nici o schimbare in energie, si aceea, din nou trebuie sa fie ADAPTAT la. Deci, mai multe celule sint trase in procesul de restorare ale corpului pentru balans. Daca acest lucru continua pt. Destul de lung, in finat aceste tesuturi celulare care sint implicate in activitatea celulara neobisnuita, incep sa se strice sau sint alterate in alta forma. Un exemplu bun este un neg pe mina din cauza stresului din pricina frictiei. Atit timp cit acea frictie este acolo vor fi schimbari in tesut. Daca nu e frictie, negul dispare dupa un timp. Deci unul este inschilozit fizical, o adaptare fizicala. Este defapt o adaptare normala perfeca catra niste stres. Este modul lui X ca sa sa restituie corpul catre sanatate. Daca unul intelege acest lucru si nu se excita, se termina foarte repede. Daca unul se excita despre acest lucru, nu-l intelege, devine tot si tot mai cronic pentru ca este un ciclu continuu de a fi ingrijorat de simptome. Frica tot creste imbalansul chimical si tensiunea nervoasa a muschilor si are nevoie de mai multa adaptare de activitate celulara neobisnuita, senzatie neobisnuita si alterarea tesuturilor celulare si cade la pamint. Deci, unul ar putea sa spuna ca „avind o expectatie bazata pe un ideal” (care este o iluzie) este FACTORUL DE DESINTEGRARE AL OMULUI. Celalalt mod al adaptarii este COMPORTAMENT NEOBISNUIT. 2. Unul merge printr-o stare de indulgenta – Unul se imbata, sau arunca un temperament anumit. In caze extreme, oamenii merg sa fure. Ei se rasfata cu droguri, si etc. Acum pentru ceva practic de facut: Scrie jos cind unul are suparare, vinovatie, frica, sau insecuritate cu timpul si data. Apoi observa ce se intimpla in 72 de ore. De obicei adaptarea nu urmeaza imediat. Daca ar urma imediat, noi am fi prins-o de mult. Sintem deja calmi din vrajitoriile emotionale. Nu avem simptomul pentru ca ii ia lui X un pic de timp ca sa observe ca corpul este intr-o stare ce imbalans chimical; si ca sa vada daca vei face ceva despre aceasta stare ( sa te lupti sau sa fugi) si folosind-o. Daca nu faci, atunci X trebuie sa de adapteze la imbalans. Simptomele care se intimpla de la 12 la 24 la 32 la 48 de ore urmind timpul cind emotiile s-au intimplat. Deci, vom tine un record: si vom incepe sa intelegem simptomele. Ce simptome am avut intre 1-72 de ore dupa toate aceste marci. Poti incepe sa realizezi ca toate simptomele sint adaptari normale. Este Calea lui X de a restora corpul catre sanatate, balansului chimical, unui ton normal. Usureaza stresul Daca unul vede acest proces si intelege motivul cu un simtamint de multumire, unul va gasi ca simptomele plec foarte usor. Scrie jos, si vei intelege si lasa-te ca sa fi alarmat la simptome. Vei fi multlumitor pentru ele pentru ca vezi ca sint expresii unui spirit de dragoste ca sa puna corpul la starea sa normala, de obicei, finctionind creativ. Toti dintre voi sinteti constienti ca corpul este un mare, valoros si frumos instrument. Deci.... 1. Expectatiile mele -_______________________________Idealul(care este defapt iluzie)_____________________ Doar ca sa va reamintesc, cele patru urgii de baza Ce cistig Comfort fizical Atentie favorabila Aprobare favorabila Simtindu-ma important Controlind pe alti oameni Ce scap Durere fizicala Fiind ignorat sau respins Fiind dezaprobat sau rusinos Simtindu-ma inferior Scrie jos 2. Dezamagirile mele 3. Ce sau pe cine dau vina 4. Emotii neplacute experientate. Deci, Supararea, Vinovatia, Frica, Insecuritatea, Resentiment duc toate la STRESS (dupa chimbare de energie ca sa fug, sau sa ma lupt, care nu a fost folosita) Adaptarea s-a intimplat in ce frama a timpului? _______________________ X a folosit energia nefolosita ca sa restoreze corpl la balansul sau chimical prin....... Activitate neobisnuita celulara, sau Comportament Neobisnuit. Completing The Picture Of Man The following is taken from The Teachings -- Tape 3 of 48 -- By Rhondell -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Discussion includes numbers 5 & 6 on the diagram below which were not included in the last update. As we have been doing the work for the past two weeks, we are probably beginning to notice various and sundry thoughts racing through the mind that say things like this, "There isn't anything worthwhile in this." "Drop the whole thing." Some self-improving "I" comes along and says, "You're really a mess." "This is terrible, I don't want to find out these things about me!" You may think you "should" do a great amount of suddenly changing the whole thing. Another "I" says, "What is the use, this doesn't change anything, it is just making it worse." Now .... all of these are very natural occurrences, and they happen to everyone who takes up the study of self to have self-knowing. All of these doubts have come along because one begins to discover certain things that are not exactly pleasing and not in keeping with vanity, especially as we write them down and look at them. But it is essential. The first thing is to be knowing self so that the self may undergo a transformation. If one doesn't know the self, there is no hope of a transformation. One may hide the self, keep it under cover, and be blind to it, but it still destroys. So let's continue our work, bring it to awareness, be conscious of it, and pay attention to it. While it may not be very pleasant at this moment, it definitely has GREAT VALUE. This time we will complete the picture of man we have already started (the picture of man as we find him in his conditioned state). We have the basic idea that the whole purpose of living is to be nondisturbed. We have four ideas of improving the self in order to actualize this nondisturbed state. To complain. This hasn't worked so far. Sticking up for rights. This hasn't worked so well and often brings a violent reactin from others. Trying to please people. It sometimes works, but it creates an inner havoc. That one must believe and do as one is taught by authorities. Whether in newspapers, books, television, what someone says, or by some authority figure we might run into in our affairs. We have been writing down how we practiced each of these. Now, the next decision that the infant makes is: THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE DIFFERENT. In other words, the way I have been getting along to this state has been quite a conflict, so "I should be different." So here comes the effort to put on a front. It is the thing to be, to do so...........people will approve of me, give me attention, and that I will look good and that I can approve of "self". But it is all on the outside. It is not due to an inner state of really "discovering that here is a way to behave, a thing to do." It is to put on a front to impress people. This has been referred to as the Scribes and the Pharisees. (Definition of Scribes and Pharisees from Headlines): Scribes and Pharisees are the teachers of the people at any one period of time who are not concerned with the inner state of man but only with his outward behavior--with ritual for the sake of ritual. They put so much emphasis on minute details of behavior and make these so important that their followers are constantly in a state of anxiety as to whether or not they are performing correctly. The result is they are kept from self-observation and re-evaluation, for re-evaluation would mean they would have to question the authorities. For such the penalty is usually great. By trying to appear to be different we build barriers over the four we looked at last time, and we are usually unaware how they work. We give them other names. We don't describe them as we have very bluntly in this picture we are now building. So we have on the "B" side, above the one that says please everybody, that IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE DIFFERENT. This is different behavior the person is trying, and every so often the others react. One has an explosion of temper. One has an explosion of resentment. One has a fit of jealousy, or whatever, but they will continue to appear. Then, of course, we only give those other names and we try to describe them differently as well as appearing to be different. But this doesn't bring any peace to the person's being, and the child (probably 7 or 8 years old now) makes another decision. He decides: It is important that everybody else be different. (BLAME!) Over on the "A" side, he comes up with a very solid decision which we will put opposite the one that it's important to appear to be different. This one he has discovered that "it's really everybody else's fault that he wasn't always different." So he says that his whole worthwhile thing here is to establish who's to blame--so we can just simply put BLAME here. Now, when a person blames somebody, he tries to get them to straighten out so that they will do what they ought to do and then, of course, "everything would be fine for me." Then I could go on in the illusion that I am quite different because there would be nothing to upset the appearing to be different by putting on this particular mask or by behaving differently. There would be no challenges if everybody else would just be different, so we build quite solid accounts against everybody we come up with to blame. Now, this is a very fundamental school idea - that we build accounts. In other words, we establish blame and say that the person owes me an apology, or they owe me damages, or they owe me to behave differently. The school idea says, "This is the burden that every human carries." It is what ages a person. It is what gradually disintegrates the person over a period of time. One big aspect of it is the "accounts receivable" we have against all people. It is blaming and that they should do differently. The child decides that if everybody else was just different, then he would be just as peaceful, pleased and happy as he can be. But they are not different so they're to blame and they do owe me! We now have 6 basic ideas of self-improvement and the big ideal, so we have a picture of man, each of us, as we are in everyday life - until we have studied ourselves and observed what goes on for a time. This time is not indefinite. We will be doing it in a reasonable number of months or weeks, but it is not going to be gone tonight. We do want to be aware of it. We want to be conscious that it is going on. So we will add two more sheets of paper to observe. Another page in the book. HOMEWORK Write down when "I ought to be different." Every time you notice "I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT" or "I am putting on a particular front and fancying up the story a little bit" - write it down. Again, this is not for other people to read - it is for your personal use. On another sheet, write down all the people "I BLAME" and what they would have to do in order to pay the debt. Now, someone, no doubt, has apologized to you. Did that end the hurt? Or are you still nursing it a little bit? Recall the incident and see what kind of a feeling arises within you. Say someone cheated you and then apologized, or they forgot your birthday or the anniversary, or promised to take you to a party and forgot all about it and didn't arrive until hours later. They apologized and said how sorry they were. Let's recall those incidents and see if there is still a decided feeling that they "owe me," that they "mistreated me," or a hurt feeling. We won't see all the incidents but we can certainly add a little to them each day, and each bit we add is knowing a lot about this conditioning that is controlling our existence, and if we may say, IT IS DESTROYING THAT EXISTENCE. First, it is in conflict, is it not? "A" against "B" and "B" against "A." The real person with a will is not even there--that is a myth we read about up to this point. Someday we will have a will. Maybe all the conditioning can be gone. But at this moment we are only interested in knowing about the conditioning and watching it work. Without being aware of this conditioning, how it works, we wouldn't even believe it is there. It usually comes as quite a shock to any of us to discover what is really within. It is as though we have a lovely home and we suddenly find that it is infested almost to the point of destruction by termites - we would be quite shocked. If we never find out about the termites, we won't do anything about it until the house falls in and then it will be too late. So we might see all these things about conditioning as termites, and that they are slowly but surely sapping the strength of one's being. We have every reason to observe them. For those of you who have been checking back for the completed picture, I'm sorry it took so long, but "making a living" was a first value during the season. Of course, I value putting on a front on the job. I don't see any value in displaying a "bad" mood. I often find that as I begin the performance and "act" up, that by the time it's over I "am" up and all those thoughts that told me everything was not going well were in truth--liars. The "work" of seeing that "It is important" that "I" be different is personal ........ and only for the page in the book. I'd also like to add when I observe others "blaming" that a not "I" jumps up and says, "They shouldn't be saying that about so and so." It's difficult to remember that that also is a not "I" and our job is not to change others-- it is only to observe without criticizing, judging or blaming. It's just "so and so" is blaming, or "self" is blaming. Then one can be about a new purpose of which we've only suggested: "KEEP THE MOOD UP AND DON'T MAKE ANYTHING IMPORTANT." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Expectation & Adaptation Cycle From "The Teachings" Tape 3 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We will start with a new picture today. We will talk about expectation, and we will draw a picture of how expectation works. So, let's take a sheet of paper and at the top of the page write "Expectations". Then across from there on the right side, let's put "based on the what ideal." Now we remember that the ideal is to regain the non-disturbed state by gaining pleasure and escaping pain on all levels. We want pleasure of physical comforts, physical sensations; and we want the sensation of favorable attention. We want the pleasure of feeling important and being able to control other people. We want to regain the non-disturbed state by escaping physical pain. We want to avoid being ignored or rejected. We want to avoid disapproval. And we want to avoid the sense of feeling inferior because things don't happen like I want them too. People just don't do what I want them to. Now we have an expectation based on the ideal--the first decision, the one that is dark drawn over in the "picture of man" as he is in his "conditioned" state. Everything we do is based on an expectation. We don't start to do anything unless we felt it was "true" and "valuable". We expect that it will work out the way we see it. And what is valuable to us in the "conditioned" state is to be non-disturbed. What is "true" to us is that this action will bring "it" about. It could be any of the six decisions of the four dual basic urges, or maybe something else in the everyday affairs. We wouldn't put a key in a lock unless we expected it to unlock. We wouldn't put the mix of a bunch of different ingredients in a pan to cook it unless we expected that it would cook and somebody would eat and enjoy it. We also expect that every thought we have of gratification will be fulfilled. We expect that if we "complain", that everybody will get with it and do what we want them too. We expect that if we "stick up for our rights" that everybody will see our rights and do them. It doesn't usually happen this way and we're usually unconscious of the expectation. So let's make the expectations conscious. We will write down "our" expectations on the sheet of paper. Across from that we'll write what "ideal" (ought to be) we had. We can then discover how many of the expectations are based on the basic idea that the whole purpose of living is to be "non-disturbed." We will notice that in interpersonal relationships, one is disappointed because one had the expectation that everybody is "fully conscious." We'll find that we believe that they know what is right, proper and justifiable; but they go on and do wrong anyway. [anti-agape-see excerpt page for more information] We will find we expect that they all know what I want and what is "good" and what I put "value" on and that they will act accordingly. In this, we will find many; disappointments. So we will put on our paper, or on a separate sheet a list of "my disappointments". We'll write down all the times I was disappointed this week and in the weeks to come. Then we will be able to observe them. We'll see what "ideal" I had in mind. Perhaps the "ideal" is someone should remember my birthday. But they had other things to do, and they forgot. We decide that they deliberately ignored me. This being ignored and rejected is a pain. When one is disappointed, one feels hurt, or ignored, or rejected, or disapproved of. This leads to looking for blame when we are "conditioned." So, on our sheet of paper we will have an additional heading of "What or who I blame for my disappointment and hurt. We will find that this is where we experience the anger, guilt, fear and insecurity. On our sheet or sheets of paper, we can now put headings of those four emotions and their counterparts of resentment, jealousy, inferiority and any others you discover. Under those we'll put marks and when we get four of them, make a cross mark through them for the fifth one. So we started with expectations based on an ideal, which leads to disappointment, which leads to hurt, which leads to looking for blame, which leads to an unpleasant emotion. This is a little diagram of the inner working of the "self," and of the "conditioned" awareness. We want to be aware of it's function and how it's working. We're not trying to change it, we're just getting acquainted with it. Emotions Guilt - regret, I wish I hadn't done that Fear - something is not right to us, but we don't know what to blame it on Worry - this may happen, but I don't know Insecurity - inability to control the situation Under those emotions and slash marks, draw an two arrows pointing down and write the word "STRESS." Stress is what the body [motor function] reacts to. The body reacts to a burn or fall; but we're interested in the inner stresses. The stress that originates from the inner state of being; in other words the expectation of the ideal not being realized. The body goes into a state of chemical imbalance and neuro-muscular tension. Whenever we are angry, guilty, fearful or feel very insecure, we're telling X that we are in an emergency; and X sends the message down to the motor function to charge the body with tremendous energy to FIGHT or RUN. (The charge comes from the use of various hormones from the ductless glands. These are adrenaline, thyroxin, pituitary extract and a big charge of glycogen from the liver) One is all charged up for the state of emergency (a violent physical challenge), but we only had our feelings hurt because we didn't realize the ideal; and thereby, the non-disturbance. Now we have chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension. It has gone from the psychological to the physiological; and this requires what we call "ADAPTATION". We cannot live with the body being all charged up to fight or run. But no fighting or running is taking place. Now X begins an "adaptation" to restore the body to the chemical balance for the actual time, place, and circumstance. You may be sitting in a warm room on a soft sofa with no physical violence anywhere in sight; but inside is a "seething turmoil". Sometimes there is an accumulation of it. So then, this ADAPTATION takes one of two forms: 1. The most usual one is UNUSUAL CELLULAR ACTIVITY. A group of cells begin to do something they ordinarily don't do in order to use up the mobilized and unreleased energy from the chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension from the sense of being angry, guilty, fearful, resentful (being in a state of emergency.) Unusual cellular activity is known as a change in function. So some aspect of the body begins to function differently. It always results in a change in sensation from the usual and is experienced as physical pain, fullness, stiffness, soreness, or aching. Then, of course THAT becomes an emergency because "I was disappointed"; and now I am suddenly feeling rough. I feel hurting all over, uncomfortable physically; and I begin to look for what's the cause of the physical discomfort. (Cause really means blame, does it not?) So, what's to blame for this sensation, and this change in function. It must be the flu, or it might be cancer, or it may be aids--no telling what it is. It's got to be something bad. It is frightening, so there is more charge of energy and that, again, must be ADAPTED to. So more cells are drawn into the process of restoring the body to balance. If this keeps on long enough, finally these tissue cells that are involved in the unusual cellular activity begin to break down or they are altered in some form or other. A good example is a callous on the hand due to stress from friction. As long as that friction is there, there's going to be a change in tissue. If you ever quit the friction, the callous goes away in a little while. So one has a physical disability, a physical adaptation. It's REALLY a perfectly normal adaptation to some stress. It is X's way of restoring the body to health. If one understands it and doesn't get excited about it, it's over very quickly. If one gets excited about it, doesn't understand it, it becomes on and on chronic because there is a continual cycle of being concerned about the symptom. Fear builds up more chemical imbalance and neuromuscular tension and requires more adaptation of unusual cellular activity, unusual sensation and tissue cell alteration and a breakdown. So one might say that "having an expectation based on the ideal" (which is an illusion) is the DISINTEGRATING FACTOR IN MAN. The other way of adapting is UNUSUAL BEHAVIOR. 2. One goes on a binge. One gets drunk or thows a wild temper tantrum. In extreme cases, people go on robbing binges. They go on drug binges and etc. Now for a very practical something to do: Write down when one has the anger, guilt, fear or insecurity along with the date and time. Then observe what happens within 72 hours. Usually the adaptation doesn't follow immediately. If it did, we would have all caught on a long time ago. We have already calmed down from the emotional spells. We don't get the symptom because it takes X a little time to notice that the body is in a state of chemical imbalance; and to see if you're going to do something (fight or run) and use it up. If you don't, then X has to adapt to the imbalance. The symptoms occur from 12 to 24 to 32 to 36 to 48 hours following the time the emotions occurred. So we will keep a record; and we'll begin to understand symptoms. What symptom did I have between 1-72 hours after all these marks. You can begin to realize that all symptoms are normal adaptations. It is X's way of restoring the body to health, to chemical balance, to natural tone. It relieves stress. If one sees this process and understands the purpose with a feeling of thankfulness, one will find that the symptoms are all gone very quickly. Keep records and you will understand and cease to be alarmed at symptoms. You will be thankful for them because you see they are the expression of a loving spirit to restore it's body to normal, usual creative functioning. All you are really aware of is that the body is a great, valuable, and beautiful instrument. [From Dr. Bob's description on Tape 3 from the Teachings, I think the written sheets might look something like this.] 1. My expectation_____________________________________Ideal___________________________ (the ideal is an illusion) (Just for reminders) the 4 dual basic urges Gaining Physical comfort Favorable attention Favorable approval Feeling important Controlling other people Escaping Physical pain Being ignored or rejected Being disapproved of or embarrassed Feeling inferior 2. My disappointments_______________________________ 3. What or who I blame______________________________ 4. 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