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Accounts The Teachings # 9
Audio
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We have all heard the expressions the "pure in heart" and the "clean in heart" and, of course, generally have been taught to regard that as meaning that we didn't think about sex very often. The TEACHING says that it is due to "Accounts Receivable." It says that we have made accounts against people; and that they owe us, and that this makes the heart impure or unclean. It would be interesting to obtain a small LEDGER BOOK AND WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF THE PERSONS WE HAVE AN ACCOUNT AGAINST AND THEN WRITE DOWN THE DIFFERENT THINGS THEY OWE US. Now in many people this can start with parents or people who looked after one when The "self" was small. It can include school teachers and peers of the child in growing up. It can include various brushes with people in authority. Whatever the case, we will make a ledger, putting the person's name at the top and the incident in which they owe us. In other words, they mistreated us in one form or another. We will then put over on the other side what they owe us. We will discover that what they owe us is impossible for them to ever pay. If we say they owe us an apology, they owe an apology. So they apologize and what do we put down then? Have we fully forgiven the whole thing and forgotten about it, or do we say they didn't really mean it? They were just saying that so I would feel better and we still have the account marked "unpaid." This is called a "burden" and most people are weighed down by great burdens because they observe that everyone and everything they are in relation with as being somewhat of a slur, somewhat of a damage, and somewhat of a mistreatment of the "self." There is an old song that the speaker heard in the hills of Kentucky in little wooden churches, "Take your burden to the Lord and leave it there." So I is going to observe each of the accounts receivable against someone who seems to owe the "self" ("John" or "Mary"). We are going to record these and they are reported to X and then we will leave them there. It is very interesting to observe a person who has done this. They begin to stand up straighter, they begin to be less nervous, less agitated, less aggravated. They have removed a tremendous burden. A great limitation has been removed. A great load has been taken off the back and the chest because all of these are things that are accounts receivable. They are forms of self pity, anger, held resentment, and they can even be a form of justifying apathy and, of course, one is forever fearful lest they make other things to add accounts receivable against. So we will have a ledger. Let's take some things that we put in the accounts receivable so that we will have a rough sketchy road map to observe. They have been there so long and have been so taken for granted that one sometimes has to be slightly reminded as to what is really meant by accounts receivable and what happens. I believe that all those in close relationship with me mistreat me from time to time. Now the "self" is talking, I is observing the "self" and the accounts receivable and what they would have to do in order to have the account cancelled. I believe that I merit more appreciation than I get. How many accounts receivable do we have against people who didn't appreciate what I did for them? You know, that little Not-I and his family that says, "It's important to please them, but they didn't appreciate it." After all one didn't please them because one was inclined to, but because one expected to receive something from them and if one doesn't receive it, "they owe me." How will they ever pay it? How much appreciation would I have to get before I would cancel that? That could be a son, daughter, parent, associate, a stranger, or what have you. I believe that due to circumstances I have never had a chance to demonstrate my real greatness. People make up circumstances, so there might be several under this. We might just put circumstances at the top of the page and circumstances owe me a great deal because they have denied me so much happiness, pleasure, attention, approval and so much sense of importance, but due to circumstances which are made up of people, I never had a chance to demonstrate my real greatness of inner being. I believe I am entitled to have my way now and if I do not get my way now, somebody owes me. It was always due to somebody being at fault, to blame, or the cause of my not getting my way and they owe me now. How much do they owe? What do they owe? And could it ever really be paid and marked cancelled? I believe that if you were decent and good that you would help me have my way right now. I have an account because you didn't even help me. You may not have been the one who stood in the way, but you didn't go and knock out those people in the way, so I could have "my" way. So you have something you owe me also because you didn't do what you should have done so I could have my way, and let's see how you could pay for it. I believe that I am entitled to have all my rights, and that whatever I think are my rights are my rights and that if you were decent and fair, you would see to it that I have my rights. Somebody has stood in the way of what I consider my rights and I have accounts against them. It probably includes many many people so there will be several different pages in the ledger having different people's names because I didn't have my rights. What do they owe me now and how could this be paid? Could it ever be paid? I believe that you are deserving of blame and that it is my duty to point it out to you and demand that you cease being to blame, admit your past behavior, and pay damages. I think that you will find there are many different people's names having this account receivable as we make up our ledger. We will see how much they owe me. What are the damages they owe? What could they do to cancel that debt I have charged against them? That's mother, father, sister, brother, children, mates, business associates, people on the street, sometimes a salesman in a store or the manager of a store, sometimes a doctor, a lawyer, a relative of some kind, or someone I have had any relationship with. I believe that I am victimized by you and others into being made to feel anger, fear, guilt, insecurity, envy, jealousy, etc. I believe that it is all your fault that I am in this miserable state. How much will that person have to pay before I would cancel the debt and say, "I feel wonderful, all is forgotten." You see, we have the idea of the word "forgiving and we use it quite freely, but if one will observe the "self" when a given incident is brought up, one will find that the "self" wants to kick, scream, and make a turmoil because the account has not been cancelled. We use the word "forgiveness" and we say, "I forgive,"but actually only X can cancel that. We can observe the "self," report it to X, and we can experience forgiveness, but I don't believe one of us can truly forgive. You see the nature of I is to report accurately to X as to what is--not "what it seems to be" when seen through the "ideal" of the world which is what makes the debt. When one reports that this was an illusion, that nobody really owes the "self" anything, then X forgives and one may experience that forgiveness, that lightness, that entirely new state of being. I believe that I have all virtues in just about the proper degree, including humility by insisting that I am inadequate. however I believe if anyone agrees that I am inadequate, that they are unkind and they owe me a tremendous amount. To illustrate this point: Very recently a person told the speaker all the ways she was inadequate. Three days later the speaker met the person, and in the proper time, place and circumstances told the person in her exact words, (without referring to the former incident), as to how inadequate the person was. The person was so upset, went home and was sick in bed for three days, and later, from this, was reminded that "You told this and I replayed it back to you"--then you were very upset by it. You weren't upset when you were rattling it off as to how very inadequate you were. This was quite an awakening event to the person who has continued to observe the "self," heretofore not observing but only talking about it. Sometimes maybe the methods were a little drastic. In this case, doing it this way through recorded tapes, one does the going back and writing it down. One begins to see that really one has tremendous accounts against people, and that when one puts on a show of being very humble, or very greatly humiliated, telling the story themselves, it is only another way of trying to gain attention for "self" and to get everybody to tell you that it is not true. How many times has one told a sad story to other people and they didn't agree and they didn't try to get you to not agree or convince you that you were not all the things you were saying you were. There is an account against them. "They should all tell me, of course, you are not this, you are not inadequate." "You are one of the most adequate persons I have ever seen." As this continues, one sees all these many accounts. This is not a one-day job or a one-week job. It is a job to start today. It is a job to work at very diligently this week and to continue to add to it as I observe some cunning Not-I that has seldom been caught in the act. But write it down. One then begins to experience what it is to be without a burden, to experience a lightening of the burden, to experience the lightness and joy of forgiving, not because one has forgiven, but because one has seen and reported, and X forgives. It is beginning to cleanse the heart. It is beginning to make it pure because one of the greatest impurities it has is to carry around this burden of accounts receivable against almost everyone that one has been in relationship with through the years. I believe that I am capable of directing your affairs and that you would have no difficulties if you would just take my advice. How many people have you given advice and they didn't take it, and of course, we built a tremendous charge against them. This is particularly true of children, mates, and business partners and employees. "If they had just taken my advice and had done as I told them, they would have been all right." Now you will not only observe this in "self," you will hear it many other places you go and in most every conversation that one has with people. You will hear these various accounts receivable being charged, being reminded and grouched over because the account has not been paid. As long as we can hear this in others, not condemning or justifying, it is an excellent mirror that aids the seeing of, "self." Some Not-I will say they are in very bad shape and I am very good because I have checked out two or three of these accounts receivable, but remember if you can hear an account receivable being said by someone else when they tell how someone owes them because of their perverse behavior, it is almost certain that that account receivable is still existing in self. So I will observe the "self" with renewed intensity when I hear someone else rattling off accounts receivable that are due them and the load they are carrying. This is a great aid in observing what other Not-"I's" still have accounts within "self" that makes the heart impure and unclean because of the burden of old accounts; the clutter of the account books. It also keeps the "self" totally occupied with "self" and tries to get I, the observer, to identify with it; and get totally absorbed. It never considers how others see things. It never considers that others have feelings, that other people have Not-"I's" directing them, that they are asleep and that we expect them to be considerate of "self." As we observe this, we might be considering others rather than continually considering "how does everything affect me? I believe that each of these things and many more things are the one and only I that is I. In other words, the person sometimes builds an account against even the TEACHING for suggesting that there are other "I's," other "personalities" running around, and it is very upsetting to the "self" to be aware, that there are many "I's" and that the house is full of many things. While I was hypnotized, it was made to believe that it is "the one and only, and if anybody suggested that there were others, it is sometimes quite upset and builds an account against even the TEACHING and says, "Why, that's say I'm schizophrenic." It is not something to be disturbed about. It is something to be joyful to see, because when one begins to see it, one is on the way out of the morass of aggravation, annoyances, the many disturbing emotions, the many destructive adaptations in the body. When one is beginning to find the way out of a very unpleasant state of being, one is seeing what is producing these. There are many many of "them," not just one. As we begin to see them, we will realize that we have found a path that somewhere leads out into the sunshine. So instead of being disturbed when one sees the truth about oneself or when one discovers that many pet ideas or pet hurts are all illusions but when one sees an illusion for what it is, one is then seeing the truth and it is the truth that makes one free. How does this come about? I, the observer, sees the truth. I sees the truth of something, reports it to X, and X renders that illusion inoperative, out of the way. So X operates on what one sees as being truth and, of course, when one sees the truth, one is then freed of that further annoyance and aggravation, the continual struggle of that Not-"I" to hypnotize I into identifying with it. So it is one of the more beautiful things that one can discover, that there are many Not-I's running around all attempting to re-hypnotize I and get it identified with the Not-"I's" and to be asleep, and the Not-"I's" can then report directly to X and gain energy for their diabolical schemes to destroy the "self." I don't believe that there are many I's in me each with a will, each trying to run the entire household called "self," that this household is usually in conflict, and I don't believe that it is in a state of deterioration that will sooner or later be expressed outwardly. I believe that dis-ease attacks me. I believe that people mistreat me. I believe that I am one and whole. says the Not-"I's," the "personalities," and tries to hypnotize I into agreeing with this and in this effort of trying to continually get I, the observer, out of the way so that "they" can report directly to X, is something to behold. It is not something to build accounts against. One will discover that as one sees these accounts, one begins to experience a lightness, a freedom, a feeling of being cleansed. To forgive is not something one can do. We can only say the words. The only thing we can do is for I to disidentify from the "self " and observe all the accounts against almost everyone we have known, many of whom may even be dead now, that account is still there as a burden to carry about, something to clutter up the "awareness function" of man, something to keep it to continually associate that this may happen again, to be on guard. It is ever a challenge to observe these Not-"I's." Now, one more thing--we will observe this week also when the "self" attempts to establish accounts receivable against someone, that we may observe that the "self" is still busy trying to make accounts against people, things, situations and events of all kinds, that it is still trying to write up the accounts. One observes this while it is doing it, reports it to X and the account does not become established. You see, when they were established through the years, I was sound asleep, hypnotized by the Not-"I's" and identified with them. All the Not-"I's" spoke in the name of I, and X always does the appropriate thing for the information received and it stored up these accounts. That is a terrible burden. It is something that makes one see crookedly, twistedly, and one feels constantly in a state of being mistreated because the accounts haven't been paid. As we observe these, we will see that in no way could the account be paid. The Not-"I's"set it up so that no matter what happened, the account is still there. This is the burden of mankind. It is a load that few realize why they are weighed down and are aging, and in constantly some sort of adaptation called illness. It is why there is no peace. One has to go back and check these accounts receivable an that the various Not-"I's" are continually reminding that one should be on guard lest someone else mistreat, us. Look at all that is still due us and they haven't paid a thing, and all the rest of them are getting ready to do something and one has a general feeling of being suspicious of being left out of things, of being unappreciated, of being mistreated in many ways. In other words, it is almost a feeling of self-pity, if not completely. Self-pity is generally referred to as depression, unhappiness, being unfortunate or simply as miserable. Then, of course, all the physical adaptation that goes with that state, one is sure that one feels miserable because the poor body has been attacked by disease and then we have still more accounts and are still further forced down towards apathy and out of the picture. So let's awaken and observe the many many accounts receivable. You cannot forgive them. You can report to X that they are not valid. One is seeing an illusion for what it is and that is seeing the truth of the matter and when the truth is reported to X, that truth is then used by X to free one of uncleanness, of burdens, of misery and one begins to experience a higher state of being. One might even be experiencing vital interest for awhile.


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