Silly List of the Week:

Suggested Wedding Presents for Recent and Impending Nuptials


Silly Lists from Former Weeks

or are they formerly silly lists? Or possibly former lists from silly weeks? Weekly silly forms? Listless forms of the week? No, wait! I think I've got it! Weak Formal Lisps, am I right?
(any resemblance to the writings of Monty Python's Flying Circus are highly inappropriate,
but quite likely intentional)


Secret Fantasies of Llanview's Men

Classes Offered By Maggie's New Arts Center

The most asked questions about OLTL

Rules to Follow for Llanview Parents

These rules apply to parents, stepparents, legal guardians, custodial relatives
and significant others of all of the above.

Top 10 Crimes in Llanview, PA

  1. You can get away with murder, you cannot get away with smoking in public.
  2. You can get away with obstructing justice, you cannot get away with poor police procedure (unless you are Bo).
  3. You can get away with kidnapping, you cannot get away with yelling on top of the Palace Hotel.
  4. You can commit arson, you just can't commit to marriage.
  5. You can get away with flying while impaired, you cannot get away with driving while in tears.
  6. You can steal another man's wife, just don't steal another man's news story.
  7. Brawling with Todd is okay. Brawling with Guy is not.
  8. You can get away with committing crimes against Dorian, you cannot get away with commiting crimes for Dorian.
  9. Evading arrest is okay, evading the press is a lot harder.
  10. You can get away with anything if you are Alex, Asa, or Viki, you cannot get away with anything if you are a non-contract character.

Shops for the Llantano River Mega Mall


How to Kill Off Guy Armitage

OLTL Theme Songs


Now that Todd has his pal Bird, maybe there are some other characters that need some animal companionship. Now just what would be the perfect pet for your favorite Llanviewite?

Irreverent Character Bios, Part 4
Everyone Else


Vegas, Holdens, and Gannons


The Cramers

The Buchanans



Llanview Sex Etiquette


Things to Do In Jail if You Are an Oil Billionaire


Story Line Suggestions the Labines Probably Should Not Use


My List of Things to Do Today, by Dorian Lord

  1. Make disparaging remarks about each and every one of Victor Lord's children.
  2. Shop for politically incorrect and practically useless but oh so sexy fur stole.
  3. Remind someone that I am a doctor, and hope that they don't remember that I haven't practiced medicine in almost two decades.
  4. Lie to Cassie.
  5. Lie about having lied to Cassie.
  6. Seduce at least one man half my age, preferably a Buchanan. Perhaps Kevin is available tonight? or maybe CJ?
  7. Go to Llanfair and remind everyone that it used to be my house (and still would be if it wasn't for that witch Viki)
  8. Brush up on my biblical curses to throw at Andrew.
  9. Talk to junior high sex ed class about the outdated concept of virginity.
  10. Find a storyline worthy of my talents, or at least find one that I can show my cleavage in.


Suggestions for Decorating the Carriage House


Surprising Items that Your Favorite OLTL Characters
Keep in their Closets


The Real Reasons why Ian Armitage Came to Llanview

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last updated 5/12/97