(Since 1992)

Why have a funniest scenes list, but only include the top 10 since 1992? Well, mainly because that's how long I've been watching the show. If I had started earlier, I'm sure I would have included Max and Tina's Wedding (I Tina, take thee Cord), and Luna's arrival in Llanview (by parachute in the middle of a country club garden party!) If you have comments or suggestions, feel free to email me at umby12@msn.com.

The Courtship and Wedding of Asa and Alex Buchanan:
It started with a bet that Alex would get Asa to propose. It brought us so many memorable scenes, like the singing billionaire (Chantilly Lace and a pretty face...), the vodka shot contest, and the Super Soaker shootout (where Asa and Alex used waterguns to shoot a shot glass off the head of an increasingly drunk Nigel). And it all culminated in the most amazing wedding ever, with Alex, dressed as Cleopatra, kidnapped by faux-nuns Buck and Bulge and rescued by Buchanans on horseback. And of course, the wedding ceremony itself: Nora wore a matron-of-honor dress straight out of The Ten Commandments, the society matrons skipped gaily down the aisle as attendants, and Andrew got an experience few Episcopal priests ever get: the chance to invoke Egyptian gods Ra and Isis in a wedding ceremony!

David Kidnaps Kelly
David just wanted to kidnap Kelly to get some cash, but figured why not give into Kelly's come-ons in the process? But when Kelly said no, she meant it. She grabbed the first thing handy (a lamp in the shape of George Washington's head), and gave him a whole different type of bonk. ("I've killed David with the Father of our Country!" she tells Joey.)Thinking she had killed him, she stuffed him into the back of her car and buried him in the woods.Of course, David wasn't as dead and buried as she hoped. After Kelly and Joey spent a long night looking for David's body, David snuck into the gatehouse and grabbed Kelly and took her to his yacht. Of course, once he grabbed her, she became hilariously difficult (Or don't all kidnap victims throw paper airplanes with SOS out the window and demand pedicures) while David faced off with his "gumdrop" Dorian over the amount of the ransom. Of course, I always did like Ruthless People.

Cleopatra's Jewels
When Cleopatra's Jewels came to the Llanview Museum, there was nothing that Alex wouldn't do to get them (After all, Alex is the current incarnation of the Egyptian Queen). And so Cain and Tina thought they would steal the jewels and frame Alex in order to send Alex to jail. Of course, the mob queen, inspired by her communion with Carlo's ashes, turned the tables on the pair so that they ended up caught by the museum's Clouseau-like security system and she ended up with the jewels. Cain and Tina managed to get out of jail and recover the jewels, but Hank couldn't figure out who to prosecute.

New Year's Day Dream--Coffee House Style
As soon as Bo and Nora set a deadline for getting married, the two fell into an immediate panic attack. In hilarious movie parody day dream sequences of couples at Max and Luna's New Year's Party, one of them dreamed about the tempestuous affair of a young european (Joey) and his tart girlfriend (Dorian), who goes from her passionate fiery love straight into sex with the waiter (David). From the black and white shots, to the cheesy bistro music, to the wide gestures, the scene managed to parody both European art films and Joey and Dorian's relationship perfectly.

The Wedding of Bo and Nora Buchanan
Good Golly, Miss Molly! Despite months of hounding by the Llanview Wedding Police, Bo and Nora were all ready to chuck their wedding and continue living in sin until Little Richard convinced them to bop down the aisle. A fun wedding for Llanview's best couple.

David and his "Sister"
David and the audience knew he wasn't Tina's brother, but he couldn't tell her that AND steal Todd's inheritance, no matter how much he wanted his "sister". So it was absolutely hysterical when he started telling Tina about how Egyptian kings married their sisters, and other reasons why Tina could and should have sex with her "brother".

Asa's Commitment Hearing
After months of watching Asa fly kites with his sailor-suited butler/grandson, (Nigel) Little Buckeroo, Alex decided to have him committed to an institution. After all, she didn't know Asa was only testing her loyalty to him, she thought he had truly lost his marbles as well as his company. But Asa had to convince Judge Fitzwater that he did not need to be in an institution. To show that he had at least an inkling of what was going on, he let loose with one of the funniest lines ever: What I want to say is...I am not a vegetable. No man is a vegetable. And no man is piece of fruit. But this woman is a fruitcake. What part of the food chain is she on?

A Holliday Valentine
In the ultimate practical joke, Angela Holliday got the last laugh on Cain and Tina. Though Cain chose a wedding with Tina over reconciliation with Angela, Angela managed to con the con man by hiring an actor to stand in for the minister (viewers knew something was fishy when they saw those green Converse hightops peaking out from under his robe). Angela let Cord in on her joke by sending him a Valentine's Day card with all of the juicy details. Of course, Sarah used the envelope for her collage so it took Cord a few months to find it.

Hank's Bachelor Party
Yes, once upon a time, for five minutes, Hank Gannon was funny. After telling everyone he did not want a bachelor party before he married Sheila, Llanview's most solemn character naturally expected one. So when the equally solemn Judge Fitzwater called to have him come to the court house, Hank (to the horror of a watching Nora) told her no way. He told her off. He called her Fitzie! So imagine his terror when Nora told him the truth--that Judge Fitzwater had nothing to do with the party. He stumbled through an apology, which ended with Hank inviting Fitzie to the party. Like everyone else, she had a blast.

David Leaves Town
Poor David Vickers! Dorian cut him off with no credit cards, no Mercedes, no yacht. So what's a sleazy con man to do? Well, just kiss up to former mayor (and rich older widow) Liz McNamara and get her to finance his "new play" (in which Brad Pitt was going to make his singing debut). When the two left town, Florida-bound, we were happy to see that two characters who really deserved each other had found each other, but sorry to lose their talents.
Nora Can't Cook/Dorian's Maids and the Doorbell
Okay, these are not storylines, single scenes, or even linked, but they are terrific running jokes. Nora, Bo, Hank, and Rachel all get terrific quips about Nora's cooking abilities, or lack thereof. Remember when Nora told Rachel that she would make her some chicken soup to make her feel better, and responded to Rachel's disbelief by asking what was so hard about opening a can. And burning the whole Rosh Hashana dinner, ordering takeout, and then Bo orders backup pizzas.As for Dorian's maids, it's hilarious how they are never available to answer the doorbell. For years, Dorian called out "Carlotta!" whenever the doorbell rang, but to no avail until the Angel Square story began. Now that Carlotta is busy at the diner, it's "Simone!". Obviously, Dorian has yet to be domesticated.

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last updated 4/28/97