Todd Manning, Llanview's favorite bad boy, has some of the best quotes in daytime. Whether he's raging at Patrick or bonding with Viki, he can usually provoke a smile. So here is a list of Todd's best lines and exchanges.

The idea for this page is not mine. The gang at Michael Gill's One Life to Live Discussion Group started a series of posts referred to as Todd's Notebook. Some of these quotes included come from this experience, with credit given to the appropriate poster. Others are e-mail submissions. Want to add your two cents? E-mail me at


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Back from the Dead

Todd: What can I say, Viki? Somebody down there likes me.

Todd: That's right, it's the ghost of Spring Fling Past.
Marty: How?
Todd: It beats the hell out of me. I guess when really bad people die, they go to Llanview. I figured if I was going to come back, I would be a cockroach or a gopher. But God really has a sense of humor, so I came back as me. (Myra)

Marty: You've been given a second chance here. I don't understand why you don't want to run home and make the most of every moment.
Todd: You sound like a greeting card. (Debbie)

Viki: How did you survive? How could anybody survive that?
Todd: Clean living. (Sara)

Todd: I came back after a year and the first thing I lay eyes on is my wife getting a lewd infusion from some other guy. (Debbie)

Blair: You died.
Todd: What can I say Blair. I can't do anything right.

Todd : (Halloween, to Blair) I am wearing a costume. I'm Todd Manning the dead guy. (Tricia)

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About Blair

"I am not going to heaven, but suddenly, going to hell didn't seem that bad, cuz, Blair, you are going there too." (LaVondra)

To his lawyer, before the custody hearing: "Blair isn't that stable, Winslow, and don't forget about all those Cramer women in loony bins cutting out paper dolls." (ToddFan)

Todd: Blair's got financial problems of her own. Melador turns out to be a big Mela-dud. (Debbie)

Todd: (to Blair about Dorian) She wants to see us reconciled like she wants to see you married to Charles Manson.

Todd: Do they call it morning sickness if you get it at night? (Tricia)

Todd: Blair cares about Blair. I'm sure the two of them will be very happy together. (Debbie)

Todd (to Asa): The only difference between Blair and a murderer is a dead body. (Debbie)

Todd (to Blair): Did your lawyer send you here to see what's rattling in my closet? The cocaine is in the medicine cabinet, the uzis are in the hallway closet and the spare body parts are in the freezer. (Tricia)

Todd: You can morph into Donna Reed all you want, it's not going to help you win this case.
Blair: Yeah, and you're Clark Kent. (Tricia)

Blair: I guess I've been a little overwhelmed, you know, with everything happening so fast--the marriage, the proposal. It was like I was going to wake up tomorrow and just realize it was all a dream--a very good dream.
Todd: No, not a dream, believe me--I've seen the bills. (Debbie)

Todd: I'd say the operation was a total success--except for the part where the patient almost died. (Debbie)

When Todd and Blair decide to get married the first time around:
Blair: I'll make you happy.... I'll, I'll try...
Todd: Good luck. (Christa)

Blair: What else?
Todd: Don't worry, I'm just getting to the good part. You see, I get hit on by you which isn't really pathetic but then I get dumped by you which even you've got to admit is pretty pathetic. (Crayola)

Todd: What's the matter Blair? You look about as happy to see me as my parole officer used to be. (Crayola)

Winslow: Somebody has to play the bad guy when it comes to Blair. That's what you pay me for. Let me be the heel.
Todd: Just so long as you step on her. (Debbie)

After Todd marries her in Key West:
Blair: We did it. Whoo! How do you feel?
Todd: The same... only weirder. (Christa)

Todd (after their first wedding): If a couple a days ago someone asked me where I'd be in a couple of days, never in a million years would I have said married with a kid on the way. And look who I married, She-Wolf of Llanview.
Blair: Well excuse me, pardon me, but who are you, Gandhi? (Tricia)

Todd: What? You've never heard of tipping?
Blair: Yeah, I just wasn't sure you had.

Blair invites Todd to go horseback riding:
Todd: I grew up in Chicago. The only thing I know how to ride is a bus. (Debbie)

When Todd tried to convince the nurse to give him Blair's medical records:
Nurse: Should anything happen, just have one of the physicians give us a call...
Todd: No you see, that's what I'm worried about. What if some witch doctor in Fiji can't figure out how to use the phone? I mean, my little lollipop could die! (Tricia)

Todd (after Blair and Starr move back into the penthouse): Wow, look at this happy loving family, instantly, just add water. (Tricia)

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Those Crazy Cramers

Blair and Cassie tell Hank that Todd is capable of murdering Carlo:
Todd: This is terrific. The crazy Cramers in stereo. (Debbie)

Todd: Look, it's what's-her-name.
Dorian: And I was so hoping you wouldn't be here.
Todd: Next time, try some place I don't live. (Debbie)

Todd: It's no fun here anymore, anyway. Dorian's being nice.

Dorian: Mel Hayes is worth ten of you.
Todd: Well, he certainly drinks like ten of me. (Debbie)

Todd (to Dorian): On second thought, maybe I shouldn't warn you. Maybe I should enjoy watching you go through another romantic disaster, 'cause Mel Hayes is not your type. For one thing, he's old enough to shave. (Debbie)

Dorian: Todd owns the other newspaper in town, if one can call it a newspaper--"The Sun."
Todd: Yeah, that's right, and when I bought it, it was a rag called "The Intruder," which is appropriate because Dorian owned it. (Debbie)

Dorian (preparing for the fashion show): Think, in just a few hours, this place is going to be filled with the most beautiful, glamourous, fashionable people in Llanview.
Todd: But you can come anyway. (Tricia)

Todd (to Starr): You got a brand new immune system. It's not operating at full capacity, but we're not going to let a little thing like that spoil our fun, okay?
[Dorian enters penthouse]
Todd: Or a big thing like that, either. (Debbie)

Todd: What's that?
Dorian: It's the first installment on Starr's add-a-diamond necklace, with more to come on special occasions.
Todd: Which for you would be, what, like a Wednesday? (Debbie)

Todd (to Starr): Auntie Dorian is leaving now. She's going somewhere else to scare other children. (Debbie)

Dorian: If it were up to me, I would raise Starr myself, and you would have nothing to do with her upbringing.
Todd: Yeah, and if it were up to me, I'd have her raised by wolves. At least they have a maternal instinct. (Debbie)

Viki: Is something bothering you?
Todd: No. Why?
Viki: Because I know you.
Todd: I guess you're just picking up on all of the psychic residue from the psychic havoc that Diamond Lil unleashed on me earlier.
Viki: Dorian?
Todd: Starr and I were in the door for, like, three seconds and Dorian comes storming in here and treats her like she's a piece of property-- tries to put a flag in her to claim her for the Cramers. (Debbie)

Dorian: It's so typcial of you Todd, to take advantage of a man's personal foibles.
Todd: I wouldn't call howling from a rooftop in downtown Llanview personal and I wouldn't call it a foible either 'cause...I don't know what that is. (Tricia)

Todd (reading the invoices for the fashion show): Champagne, duck liver, fish eggs, nothing anybody normal would eat, perfect for a party like this. (Tricia)

Todd: I'll tell you what, Blair. You go home now, all right? You drive yourself crazy about how sick Starr is. You put yourself into that toxic waste dump Dorian calls a mouth. (Debbie)

Todd: (about Cassie) I am woman. Hear me whine. (Debbie)

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That's Téa, Not Tee-ya

Todd: Why don't you send me a bill and I'll pay it?
Téa: What? No hard ball? No haggling?
Todd: It's this miserable good mood of mine. It's ruining everything. (Debbie)

Tea comes downstairs wearing Todd's shirt:
Todd: Look, I know we're hitched and everything but no fair swapping clothes, all right? I don't think I have the legs to pull off those short skirts you wear.

Téa: I handle liable cases in case it becomes necessary.
Todd: Wait--so, you're an ambulance chaser?
Téa: Anything wrong with that?
Todd: No.
Téa: I'm just drumming up more business.
Todd: You mean somebody actually pays you besides me?
Téa: No one else has to. (Debbie)

Téa (looking under the sofa cushions): This is where you keep the cheese crackers, right?
Todd: I'm sorry, I'm all out. I guess the bird found my stash. Oh, excuse me for not living up to your high-point Park Avenue standards. I mean, I forgot because, to tell the truth, sometimes you have all the grace of a Mack truck. (Debbie)

Téa: I wasn't expecting a ring.
Todd: You want it or not?
Téa (opens box): Oh, my God. Does this come out of my $5 million?
Todd: No. It's payback, you know, for not putting me through that whole thing where you got to buy a wedding dress or I got to sit around and wait while you get your hair done. (Debbie)

Todd (about the wedding ceremony): Anybody you want to invite?
Téa: Uh, no. No one I know would understand. You?
Todd: I don't know anybody. Except maybe Viki. But she's away. She's in Washington at a conference for the National Association of Boring Publishers or something.
Téa: Shouldn't you be there? (Debbie)

Nora: My word, Tea. What is that?
Téa: A diamond ring.
Nora: Do you have an announcement to make?
Téa: Well, it all happened so fast.
Bo: Well, who's the lucky guy?
[Todd joins Téa]
Nora: You're kidding me.
Todd: Oh, thanks for your warm wishes, Nora.
Nora: Not to be confused with someone who cares, but what happened to thealready--God help her--Mrs. Manning?
Todd: Oh, you mean Blair? Well, she's the ex-Mrs. Todd Manning.
Nora (to Téa): You're number two?
Bo: What is going on?
Téa: Well, we've been working together a lot lately and--
Todd: And, you know, Cupid's little arrows found their way into our little hearts. (Debbie)

Todd appears anxious about the custody hearing:
Téa: We must have really bonded. I'm drinking coffee and you're the one who's wired. (Debbie)

Todd (to Téa): You know, it's weird. When I came back to town after being dead, I had one thing on my mind--I wanted to be with my wife and my kid. And look what I got. I mean, it's not exactly the original cast, but who's complaining?

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Patrick Thornhart

"What are you going to do Patrick, write a nasty poem?" (LaVondra)

Todd: What are you gonna do, hack me up with an angry poem? "I hate Todd because he smells like a scrod." (Debbie)

Todd: It's too bad Blair and Patrick didn't know that I was coming. They could've made me a cake instead of a baby.

Nora: I'm Patrick Thornhart's attorney.
Todd: Oh, you are? Well, I hope you do better for him than you did for me. (Debbie)

"The only good Irish Poet is a dead Irish Poet." (ToddFan)

Patrick: Why do you have to be such a head-butting oumhadan?
Todd: What, that's like an idiot? (Debbie)

Patrick: Margaret says she has a man--a man she loves--back home.
Todd: Not me. No, what Marty and I share is a lot stranger than love. She must have been talking about that hillbilly hayseed.

Todd (about Blair): She's pregnant with Patrick Thornhart's baby, Ireland's little gift to the poetically challenged. (Debbie)

Todd: The McPoet has agreed to an early delivery...
Viki: I think that due to his actions, Patrick deserves to be called something other than Poetry Boy, the McPoet, Professor Thornhart, and the cute nicknames you have for him.
Todd: No he doesn't. (Tricia)

Todd: (To Briggs) Then I want you to run down to the photo file and find a really ugly picture of Patrick Thornhart..... that shouldn't be too hard.... (Christa)

Téa (reading the Sun's headline about Patrick): So, Patrick Thornhart was a terrorist in another life.
Todd: This is his other life. (Debbie)

Viki: So, what do you mean you were right about Patrick?
Todd: Well, I was thinking more of in a general sense. You know, little things, like blowing people to smithereens. [Shows Viki the Sun's headline:"BAD LUCK OF THE IRISH--POET IN POKEY."]
Viki: Yes, yes, I saw that. Expressed with your usual pithiness.
Todd: I was going to be pithier. You know--"PATRICK THORNHART--UNIPOET."
Viki: I hate to muddy the waters with this pesky little reminder that Patrick has merely been arrested, not convicted.
Todd: Yeah, but he's guilty. I know that. I guess when Irish eyes AREN'T smiling, people die.

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Fractured Fairy Tales

The Frog Prince
Todd: Once upon a time, there was a king with a beautiful, but spoiled princess, well don't I know the type! One day, she went down to the lake and saw a frog sitting on a lily pad....this is really a stupid story. I hate this story, why don't I tell you the real story of The Frog Prince?--- and so the princess kissed the frog and do you know what happened? No guesses? NOTHING! Absolutely nothing! ZIP! The prince stayed a frog, you know why? Because he liked being green and ugly and slimey and he could sit around the lake all day on his lilypad and eat flies ad croak at the moon. And you know what happened to the princess? She went back to the castle and married this dweeby, nerdy accountant/poet and she got really, really ugly and lost all her looks and then she had so much bad plastic surgery that she was SO ugly that not even the frog would kiss her! THE END! (Tricia)

The Ugly Duckling
(Blair's in the room)
Todd: Once there was a duck that was so scuzzy and ugly that none of the other ducks wanted to play with him. But nobody knew that he was really a....
Kids: a swan?
Todd (looks at Blair): Close, he was a rich, smart, INCREDIBLY good looking newspaper publisher. [kids laugh, Blair leaves the room] So one day the ugly duckling decided he wanted to get back at all the other ducks who had been mean to him, so you know what he did? He bought the whole damn pond! (Tricia)

(Blair asks what Todd is doing in the hospital)
Todd: I'm a candy striper.

Todd: And the princess got ugly and old and grew warts and even the frog wouldn't kiss her. (ToddFan)

Todd: they took the baby to the royal judge and the royal judge said (deep voice), "The baby belongs to Rumplstilskin. Hand her over!" So the whiney, selfish, nagging Queen had to give the baby over to Rumplstilskin and do you know what happened?....They lived happily ever after, the baby and Rumplstilskin forever and ever. (Tricia)

Todd: I'm telling you, Marty, if I get out of this, I'm quitting good deeds cold turkey. Especially if they have to do with little kids and airplanes and YOU. (Debbie)

Todd: I'm looking for a room, but it keeps disappearing. Who designed this hospital any way, David Copperfield? (Ariel)

Dr. Sands tells Todd that Eli's AIDS treatment grant was turned down by the hospital board:
Todd: Well, I don't know who they think they are, playing God. That's my job. (Debbie)

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Oh Lord

Todd suggests going to the police station after Mel and Patrick are arrested:
Viki: Whatever happened to this dinner you were buying me?
Todd: We'll get some fries at the drive-thru. (Debbie)

(After she almost hit Kevin, Viki is talking to Todd about her uncontrollable anger)
Todd: You're paying your shrink to help you lose control? I could have given you some tips for free! (Gwendelyn)

Viki: Your bird is in serious need of professional help.
Guess it runs in the family.

Viki: [Kevin] should never have brought me flowers.
Todd: Hell, if someone brought me flowers, I'd have ripped their lungs out--don't tell me the three faces of Viki are coming out to play again?

Todd: (to Viki) You wouldn't like prison. There's no maid service, the food is lousy, and I don't think you could handle everyone wearing the same dress. (Tricia)

Tori: I would reconsider if I were you.
Todd: Well it's too bad you're not. I may be a bastard but at least I'm not nuts. (Crayola)

Todd:(To Viki) Why is it that you think everything you say is gospel? (laughs)...Is it 'cause your name's Lord? (Geena)

Todd (to Starr, at Viki's cabin): I know it's not exactly what you're used to. See, you gotta understand, my sister--your Aunt Viki--you know, she's been rich for so long that her idea of getting away from it all is to come up here--dress up like a lumberjack. (Debbie)

Kevin: It's not just my family you're trashing here. It's yours, too.
Todd: So, now you want me to be part of the family? Make up your mind, Kevin. I'm getting confused. (Debbie)

Viki: That wasn't praying. It sounded like you were cursing God.
Todd: That's how I pray.

Todd (to Viki): Look. If I wanted advice about marriage, you're the last person I'd be talking to. Clint still has the skid marks on him from when you peeled rubber outta that marriage. (Debbie)

Todd (to Viki): What's my crime, wanting to spend time with my daughter? Get out the guillotine. (Tricia)

Todd (to Viki): What now? What else? This social worker garbage.
Jessica: (Gasp) Are they making you see a social worker?
Todd: Very funny, you a comedian? It's my kid, see I have to act like a regular father whenever this social worker comes by unannounced.
Jessica: So?
Todd: So? Don't you have a class to go to or something?...Blair's going to come out like a wonderful mother and I'm going to come out Daddy dearest unless...
Viki: Unless? You want to learn how to be a good father in 10 easy lessons?
Todd: No, like in one easy lesson and you gotta make it fast and can we start right now?... So you're always winning these mother of the year awards, so you could let me in on your trade secrets.
Jessica; Yeah Mom, come on, teach him how to make some brownies.
Todd: You think this is funny, don't you? Look if that idiot chick judge had given me I gotta prove to some Signey Freud wannabe that I'm a good father.
Jessica: Sigmund!
Todd: Sig...Signey...Sigmund...Why don't you go to the mall or something?
Todd: I'm going to make a REALLY big donation to the children's hospital and splash dollar signs all over the front page of the Sun, that'll show them.
Jessica: Yeah, it'll show them how dumb you are.
Todd: WHY are you still here?
Jessica: You want everybody to know you care about kids, right? So why don't you volunteer to work in the children's ward instead of throwing money at them?
Todd (to Viki): Whatja do, clone her? (Tricia)

Viki: You're pushing Blair away because the emotions she stirs up in you are inconvenient and unpredictable, and you don't want to admit that, even to yourself.
Todd: You gonna bill me for this session or are you just gonna send the paperwork right to my insurance company? (Debbie)

Viki and Dorian are tested as possible bone marrow doners:
Todd (to Marty): Well, maybe we'll get lucky with one of the battling bluebloods. (Debbie)

Todd (to Kevin): What, did you run away and join the Llanview Ballet?

Kevin and Mel arrive at the courthouse for Patrick's arraignment:
Todd: Hi, Kev. Couldn't handle the job by yourself, huh? Brought along a pro? (Debbie)

Todd overhears Kevin and Cassie telling Andy they were in Todd's stateroom on the Orion:
Todd: You probably weren't snooping after the lights went out. Whatever. Just being there, you probably broke a bunch of laws, not to mention a commandment or two. (Debbie)

Todd: Well, people would talk--a dark room, a woman who happens to be married to the preacher, and a man who happens not to be the preacher. (Debbie)

Viki: I think a man who doesn't care what he does to get something doesn't value it much when he has it.
Todd: That's very nice. That's a nice thought. It's a little long for a sampler, but it's very nice. (Debbie)

Todd (to Viki at Christmas): Yeah, I'll dress up as King Herod and slaughter the innocents....Go on, take the kid back or you're going to lose your deposit.

Todd: I could get into this donating blood
Tina: I'm surprised you have any left after Blair got through bleeding you dry.
Todd: Why, that was almost witty. Have you been practicing? (Crayola)

Viki: (to Dorian) We're just one big, extended family. Get used to it.
Todd: Where's Norman Rockwell when you need him? (Debbie)

Todd: (To Viki) Do I look that dumb? Don't answer that. (TV)

Todd (to Kevin) I gave Cassie an assignment. She wouldn't do it. That's why I fired her. It has nothing to do with you or with me or the fact that your mother is crazy and thinks that her family should be "The Donna Reed Show." (Debbie)

At X'mas when Todd tried to take Starr from Viki's office to see Santa:
Todd: Come with us. You can make sure I don't drop her off at gift wrap and send her to Tahiti.
Viki: I wouldn't put it past you. (Tricia)

Tea: I've been staying at Carlotta's, but Kevin's going to help me look for my own apartment.
Todd: Well, that's something to do, keep his mind off the minister's wife. (Debbie)

Viki: You two are going to drive me crazy.
Todd: Oh, yeah, wouldn't want you to go crazy, Viki. (Debbie)

Mel: Your father was a formidable newspaperman.
Todd: My father was a formidable pervert. (Debbie)

Tina (to Todd at his back-from-the-dead party): You're welcome always...and your family.
Todd (to Blair): Your broom's in the shop, right honey? As soon as it gets tuned up we can work our way down there. (Tricia)

Tina (opens her door to find Todd): Oh God.
Todd: No, it's just me, your baby brother. (Tricia)

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Starr Light, Starr Bright

Talking to God, about Starr's illness: "I'll feed the hungry, clothe the poor, shelter the homeless. I'll read Patrick Thornhart's poems every night, I'll even be nice to Dorian.--Forget it, deals off!"(Lisa M)

(To Starr)
Todd: See Mr. Froggy? He used to be a prince and then your mommy kissed him.

Todd: Yes, I got up with Starr. We watched cartoons, we threw some toys around, she's upstairs right now torturing Jennifer.
Blair: Her name is Judith. (Tricia)

Todd (to Starr): You see that stuff out there? It's called snow and it's cold and wet, but you'll like it when you get older. It'll keep you from going to school. (Tricia)

Todd (after informing Blair that Alex is Starr's donor): Don't worry, I don't think honesty is produced in the bone this time tomorrow, Starr's blood will run with the stuff of Mother Russia. (Tricia)

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Making Headlines (the Llanview Sun)

Todd: I've got a headline I've gotta print: "Carlo Hesser - Dead Again." (Debbie)

Todd (thinking of a headline for Alex's story): Hesser Hit Chick....Hesser Hit Heroine Hires Help...I'm so good! [phone rings, he answers] Happiest guys in Llanview! (Tricia)

Poet Pops Pillow Papa

Pillow Papa Popper Poet Proves Penchant for Pugilism (ToddFan)

About Packwoodesque Congressman
He Couldn't Keep It Zipped

Hank: Cute headline.
Todd: We're a cute newspaper. (Christa)

Guy: Are you this suspicious of everybody else?
Todd: Only if they're breathing...and only if they have a major axe to grind with people with inherited money.
Guy: Ah...hmm...I see you've done you're homework. Well, I have too. I happen to know you weren't exactly born with a silver spoon in your mouth.
Todd. No, more like a 2x4.

Todd: (answers phone) Shoot.
Alex: Good morning Todd.
Todd: Alex...I guess you're the wrong person to say shoot to. Let me guess, you're calling me from a "cell" phone.

Todd: (to Mel) Just want you to know that I' making it my life's work to destroy the Banner. I hope that doesn't jeopardize your career opportunities. (Traci)

Todd: So, Alex Hesser, what pushed you over the edge? Was it giving birth to a stillborn pillow? (Debbie)

Alex: It seems like you're the only friend I have in the world these days.
Todd: That doesn't say much for your days. (Debbie)

Alex: Well, don't you think the citizens of Llanview have a right to know that their mayor's working hard to keep their streets safe?
Todd: You're working hard to keep your job and stay out of jail. (Debbie)

Alex: What good would I be locked up?
Todd: Well, that depends who you ask. (Debbie)

(Alex tells Todd that she is Starr's marrow donor)
Alex: You'd think I'd just shot somebody.
Todd: Again. (Debbie)

Todd: When [Starr] gets older, I don't want to hand her a paper that's just used to wrap fish.

Todd: I'm gonna sell so many papers that the only reason anyone's going to use the Banner is to house-train their puppies.

Todd: Mr. Hayes is a lush. Hayes--a perfect name for him. The guy's been in a "haze" for months.
Briggs: But he can still write.
Man: Which makes him a threat to our circulation base.
Todd: Mel Hayes is a threat to my liquor cabinet. (Debbie)

Mel: Do you mind if I smoke?
Todd: No, go right ahead, just don't exhale. (Tricia)

Todd, closing the letter to Mr. Green of Armitage Publishing Group that he dictated to Lou over the phone:
Todd: "Love and kisses, Todd." (To Lou) No, I'm not serious. (Debbie)

Todd (on finding Reverend Carpenter in his living room): Well, there goes that theory. I guess my front door can't be the gateway to hell--or you would've been zapped with something, being a man of God and all.

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Todd: You know, I thought the party was a total loss. But if Carlo Hesser died, I guess it's not. (Debbie)

Todd (to Carlo): What does it take to insult you? I mean, I'm taking my best shots at the headlines and you're still here! (Tricia)

Todd: (to Carlo) Can you do me a favour? Tell me, what kind of a name is Poseidon? I mean if you're going to name yourself after some Greco Roman freak, why not Pluto...or better yet Uranus? (Tricia)

Todd (to Blair about Carlo): Did you hear that? Captain Picard's coming to the social event of the season. (Tricia)

Todd (to Carlo): Not every guy would adopt an illegitimate pillow and raise it as his own. (Debbie)

Todd: (to Carlo)- Why don't you run home. I'd hate to think of some crazy four dollar an hour teenager somethering your pillow with, say, a baby! (Richard)

Todd (to Carlo): It's not every guy who can sire a pillow. (Debbie)

Todd (to Carlo): I wouldn't help you lift your dog's leg over a fire hydrant. (Debbie)

Todd (to Carlo): You know what? I just thought of tomorrow's headline: "Pillow's Papa Cries Uncle." (Debbie)

Todd (to Viki about Carlo): You know, I know I'm going to hell, I know I am. And when I get there, I'm going to make it my job to torture that troll! (Tricia)

Todd: (about Alex, after finding out that she killed Carlo) Well, I guess that 'The Sun' won't endorse her for re-election now. (ToddFan)

Todd (to Tea visiting Alex in prison): This is the woman who single handedly, single shotedly, got rid of the baddest bad guy in Llanview. (Tricia)

Todd (typing on his computer): Things to do: Destroy the Banner. [Doorbell Rings. He opens the door to find Viki] Oh, speak of the devil.
Viki: I won't ask. (Debbie)

Todd: I like you. I do. I don't know why, but I like you. So, I'll give you a tip, one newspaper man to another.
Mel: Ah, good. Change your socks daily?
Todd: No, I just buy new ones. (Debbie)

At the Banner when everyone found out Carlo was murdered:
Cassie: I always thought he was untouchable.
Todd: Well I guess someone reached out and touched him (laughs). What?
Clint: It's just that we don't see death as something very funny.
Todd: Well, you had to be there. (Tricia)

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Todd and the Law

Hank: Where were you when the lights went out?
Todd: In the dark.

Todd: My Record's at least as clean as O.J.'s.

Todd discovers Blair's tape recorder:
Todd: The judge is never going to hear Todd Manning's Greatest Hits. (Debbie)

Todd: (To Andy) Get me Bo, I want to talk to a grown-up.

Andy: We're doing this one by the book.
Todd: Well for your sake let's hope the book has big print. (Christa)

Blair (to Hank, about Todd shooting Carlo): He was on the deck with the gun when the lights went out.
Todd: It was Colonel Mustard with a wrench in the library. (Debbie)

Todd: I want to talk to lawyers like I want to vacation in Ireland.

Todd (on the phone to Conrad Klein): Conrad, it's Todd. Well, how many guys do you know named Todd? Todd Manning. Well then, you don't read the paper, do you? Pick up a copy of the Sun. My pretty picture's on the front page. Conrad? Conrad? Look. I need a lawyer. Pull yourself together or I'll get another one. Ahh, that's right--now you know it's me. (Debbie)

Todd: I could kill someone just by dropping my police record on their head.

Todd (on his efforts to get Guy off the yacht before the bomb exploded): I try and save the guy's life, and what does he do? He lives.

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Todd: What did you say?
Parrot: Nevermore.
Todd: Quoth the parrot, "Nevermore." It'll never work. (Debbie)

Briggs: Todd, when are we going to discuss vacations for the staff?
Parrot: Nevermore.
Todd: He's a born publisher. (Debbie)

Todd (to Bird after it refuses a chicken nugget): You'll never get anywhere in this town if you don't learn to eat your own kind! (Tricia)

Todd (to Bird): Try not to brain yourself on the windows. (Tricia)

Dorian (seeing the parrot): What in God's name is that?
Todd: My new society page editor. Perfect, don't you think? He's just what I need to cover the birdbrains you hang out with. (Debbie)

Dorian: What's that bird up to?
Todd: He hasn't eaten in a while. He's trying to figure out what food group you are. (Debbie)

Todd: Eight billion birds in the world, I get the one with an eating disorder. (Debbie)

Jessica returns Admiral Byrd to Todd:
Hey. One step ahead of the taxidermist, huh? (Debbie)

Todd (to Byrd): Kenneally told me everything I need to know about that peacock, Patrick--enough to turn him into a clay pigeon. (Debbie)

Todd (about Admiral Byrd): He's angry when he gets ignored, you see, and he's in touch with his emotions. I mean, he doesn't want to keep all of that anger bottled up 'cause--where have I heard that before?
I do not need to be on this end of my own advice.
Now, look--you just have to accept the bird for who the bird is and then move on, Viki.
You're asking for it, Todd.

Todd: It's perfect. That Guy Armitage and Patrick Thornhart are all locked in to lock horns. Now I just need somebody to be there to watch them go at it--somebody reputable who can tell everybody how much they hate each other and be listened to.
Admiral Byrd: Feed the bird.
Todd: No, I can't bring you. Your little tuxedo's at the dry cleaners. (Debbie)


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last updated 8/6/97