Tony Paglia, co-creator of "Carrot-Bird" and successful filmmaker in his solo career, will be graduating from Rochester Institute of Technology on Saturday, May 24, with a degree of BFA in Film/Video.

Paglia, who was unavailable for comment, ends his four-year stint at the school at which "Carrot-Bird" was shot, and the school at which he met co-"Carrot-Bird" creator, Jay Turner. The Unofficial Carrot-Bird News did in fact reach Mr. Turner for comment, bounding in where angels fear to tread.

     Tony deserves to graduate.  He has fulfilled all the 
     requirements, and came through with flying colors.  I feel
     lucky to have known him in his formative years.  I also 
     feel lucky that I don't have to be anywhere at 7am on a 
     Saturday.

Jay Turner and Tony Paglia are becoming well-known in the cult-film genre for their 1994 film, "Carrot-Bird," but few fans of the dynamic duo are aware that they had a prior collaboration on a project called "Bowling Fun." It is said that their collaboration on "Bowling Fun" was such a success that it is directly responsible for the decision to work together again to create "Carrot-Bird."

But the "Carrot-Bird" world is now ablaze with rumors that Turner and Paglia have plans to re-release the lesser-known classic to the public, perhaps as the opener in a double-feature with "Carrot-Bird." News of this has reached the alt.movies.cult.carrot-bird discussion group, and rumors are spreading like wildfire. One rumor claims that Turner and Paglia plan to "beef up the special effects," while another speculates that the whole situation is simply a hoax to gain a better idea as to how many of their current fans would want to see another of the duo's collaborations. The Unofficial Carrot-Bird Fan Page is unable to comment at this time as to the validity of the rumors, and Turner and Paglia are keeping quiet as to the truth in the matter. It is a confimred fact, however, that Turner and Paglia will once again be roommates within the month, and when two minds such as theirs get together, there's no telling what might happen.

Here's hoping that the rumors are true, that "Bowling Fun" will be released that those who have not yet seen it might experience it for themselves. It is a worthy document of the filmmakers' pre-"Carrot-Bird" work, and it is an entertaining film in its own right. Watch this space for further news as it develops.

Audiences lined up in droves today to see the new film by "Carrot-Bird" co-creator Tony Paglia. The new film, entitled simply "Composition #1," which began at approximately 1:30 pm EST in the CIS auditorium on the Rochester Institute of Technology campus in Rochester, NY, ran approximately 20 minutes, after which Paglia spoke briefly about the film and fielded questions from the audience. To give a description of this film would be like asking someone what they think of the air they breathe, and many audience members were left feeling confused and betrayed, with more questions than answers.

Many in the audience noticed that Paglia sat next to his former collaborator, Jay Turner, during the screening of the film. It was, perhaps, for this sole reason that the audience had such a confused reaction. Many may have expected another Paglia/Turner collaboration, deeply disappointed when they found this not to be so. Others, perhaps aware of Paglia as a humorist in films such as "Bowling Fun," (also a collaboration with Turner) "Everything But the Pig," and the aforementioned "Carrot-Bird," did not understand this unusual turn in genre for Paglia. Said one attendee:

     I feel really betrayed.  This film was nothing like 
     "Carrot-Bird."  Where was the singing?  The dancing?  The
     hilarity mixed with social-commentary that we've come to
     expect from such a filmmaker.  It is clear that "Carrot-Bird"
     was more a product of Mr. Turner than Mr. Paglia, at least,
     in my opinion.  I don't see how a guy who made a film like 
     that can so easily turn around and make a film like this.  
     My faith in Paglia is just destroyed.  Shocking...

Shocking indeed. The film, a silent animation, created through the process of hand-manipulating raw 16mm film stock, and then transfered, edited, and further manipulated on video, is full of flowing, rhythmic sequences of images that are unrecognizeable and seem to be completely based outside of reality. The film is a much more abstract work than we've seen from Paglia before. The work itself is not a normal film by any means; not a filmmaker's film, this piece is more of a "motion painting" or a "video ballet" than anything else. It obviously demands repeated viewings, though we will warn you that it is not for one with a short-attention span.

Its as if this film is speaking in a different language, a secret code, if you will, which the filmmaker is asking the audience to break. This audience, however, composed mostly of film and video students and faculty, seemed either unprepared to surmount the task that this film presents, or else were simply uninterested in being spoon-fed the message within this film, whatever it may be. Paglia was very secretive about his own meaning for the film, asking others to instead think about it themselves and put their own meanings to it. Paglia was unavailable for comment after this film, as he snuck out the back door to evade the barrage of eggs that the audience may or may not have waiting for him. Turner a little-less-than-politely told us to leave him alone so he could more easily digest his "tummy full of snacks."

In an amazing display of karma, The Unofficial Carrot-Bird Fan Page received the Definately Cool Site Award exactly one-month to the day of its opening to the public.

It was an unbelievable statement of faith when Jay Turner, the more temperamental of "Carrot-Bird"'s creators, took the time to point the voting board to our site. Mr. Turner, who is reportedly planning to link back to the UCBFP in his new version of his personal web pages, offered no statement as to his change of heart. Turner, as you may or may not know, has been somewhat distant from the UCBFP since its inception. News of his long-awaited warming to the Carrot-Bird Fan Page helped the website's 1-month anniversary party kick into full-gear, and the announcement of the award, which came at approximately 11:59pm on the 15th of May, simply topped it all off. One of the members of the Carrot-Bird News staff (who wished to remain nameless) was heard to remark, "I feel all squooshy in my pantses." We couldn't agree more, Sammy Johnson.

An official statement issued today, on Mother's Day, by the Unofficial Carrot-Bird Fan Club declared Happy Mothers' Day wishes to all mothers, all over the world.

The statement, which was issued by Carrot-Bird Fan Club President Stan Hryvcek, was the first in a two-part series of statements dedicated to wishing various types of parents a happy day. The second statement is expected to refer to fathers, and is expected to be issued in mid-June.

On a related note, the creators of Carrot-Bird themselves wished their own mothers a happy day today. Jay Turner, in an uncharacteristic act of generosity, called his mother and left an answering machine message. He is reported to have felt badly about not having been able to speak to his mother personally, and so he wrote her a letter which should arrive shortly. This reporter is as yet unable to report on Tony Paglia's method for wishing his mother well.

We here at The Unofficial Carrot-Bird News would like to wish all mothers, large and small, young and old, a happy day and many happy days to follow. Mothers are wonderful people, and they deserve to celebrate and be honored, not just on Mothers' Day. Hug your mother and tell her you love her. But don't tell her we put you up to it.

A note sent to The Unofficial Carrot-Bird Fan Page by an extremist group known as B.A.R.K. has fueled a panic over the use of hyphens on these pages.

A controversial statement made earlier today by Allen Turner, brother of Jay Turner, Millionaire starving artist and co-creator of "Carrot-Bird," has shaken the world of The Unofficial Carrot-Bird Fan Page. The statement evenned the score between those who think the term "Carrot-Bird" should be hyphenated and those who feel that hyphens are a gross misuse of punctuation, thereby throwing the safe and clear-cut world of these humble pages into imbalance. Allen Turner stated his support for his brother's non-hyphenated version of the title, putting his views into simple terms with the now infamous quote, "Blood is thicker than hyphens."

The Unofficial Carrot-Bird Fan Page has been thrown into disorder. Mr. Paglia, co-creator of Carrot-Bird and proponent of the pro-hyphen camp, was unavailable for comment because he has no graphical web access on weekends. Some feel that Mr. Turner and his troublemaking brother knew that and used it to their advantage to prepare this rabble-rousing statement. But whether it was meant to be subversive or not, it has created ripples in the system, as the helpful goblins who maintain these pages prepare for the possibility that they will have to delete all the hyphens which they have so selflessly enterred into every instance of the word (words?) "Carrot-Bird." The Unofficial Carrot-Bird Forum will continue to carry the Hyphen Controversy until it is finally solved; the plan to post the question of Mr. Turner's hairpiece will be indefinately postponed so as to clear up this vital issue. Watch this space for further details.

The First-Annual Unofficial Carrot-Bird Cinco de Mayo Celebration, which was held in Rochester, NY on Sunday, May 4, was brought to a shaggy halt when one of the partiers (a word which is not in the Scrabble Dictionary) leapt up onto one of the modular tables and displayed a bomb which he was wearing around his waist. The psycho claimed to be a protestor to the cult film's treatment of the sensitive issue of fraternity alcoholism, which is touched upon very briefly in the film "Carrot-Bird." The man demanded that the scene be removed from the film, which has been translated into over 1 different language over the world.

The creators of the film were not attending the celebration, but the president of the Unofficial Carrot-Bird Fan Club, Stan Hryvcek, was present, and it was to his diplomatic abilities that the peaceful solution is attributed. Hryvcek promised that the scene in question, in which Messers. Turner and Paglia hold up a beer can found near the Carrot-Bird and therefore assume that the Carrot-Bird is a member of a fraternity (no particular fraternity is mentioned), will not be mentioned on the Unofficial Carrot-Bird Fan Page, and that the creators of the film will be notified as to their apparent oversight. The man with the bombs reluctantly agreed and stepped down from the table, just seconds before a SWAT team from the local police precinct arrived and prepared to make negotiations.

It has come to our attention that the man with the bombs did in fact blow up, but that it was nowhere near where the celebration took place. This is not the first act of terrorism made toward fans of "Carrot-Bird," and this reporter doesn't believe it will be the last.

It seems that the April Showers have brought angry glowers from two of Carrot-Bird's more famous faces. Both Jay Turner, co-creator of the cult film "Carrot-Bird", and MC Shaggity-Shag, hip-hop artist and performer of the Unofficial Carrot-Bird Theme Song, "Carrot-Bird (It's Where the Mall Is)", have come under fire in recent days. Mr. Turner, whose public life is becoming increasingly fragile, due to allegations of toupee-wear and hairpiece-artist coverups, has curiously neglected to prove the issue one way or another. The Unofficial Carrot-Bird Fan Page caught up with Mr. Turner, who had this to say:

     I don't see what all the fuss is about.  If I did indeed wear 
     a toupee, and this is in no way an admission, I wouldn't think 
     it was anyone's concern but my own.  As for Mr. Socks' 
     allegations, they are preposterous.  Had he made a toupee for 
     me, and this is in no way an admission, why wouldn't I cite him 
     in the film?  After all, the hair is an important aspect of my 
     character in the film.  Mr. Socks is just a big damn poopie-head.

Mr. Turner went on to say that he is not bald, but if he were, he didn't really think there would be anything wrong with that, and that he was curious to see what people would think of a bald Jay Turner. Well, Mr. Turner, the jury is still out.