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The difference between a school and a cactus plant is that the cactus has the pricks on the outside. Be careful reading health books, you might die of a misprint. How come wrong numbers are never busy? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? A fine is a tax for doing wrong, a tax is a fine for doing well. Why is the man who invests your money called a broker? If people from Poland are called "Poles", why are people from Holland not called "Holes"? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather, not screaming, terrified like his passengers. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? There is fish flavored! Can a stupid person be a smart-ass? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is a boxing ring square? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"?
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