Captive Audience


Articles Dante Alighieri Arthur Dent Jesus Jones Thomas Paine Other Authors Contact Us! Letter to the Editor Dante Alighieri Arthur Dent Jesus Jones Thomas Paine	Captive Audience Thomas Paine It started during my sophomore year. It took place once again when I was a junior. This year, it has happened seven times, and I fear it will happen again. Hundreds of impressionable teens, taken hostage. No choice. No mute button. No escape. This isn't a story of youths held captive in far-off lands; it's a story about you; it's story about me; it's story about Terra Nova High and the third-party speakers to whose inanity the students of this fine school are subjected with alarming frequency. Are you interested in DeVry "University" or Heald "College"? Did you sign up for a seminar about a fashion school in LA? Do you want to spend an hour of your time listening to one such school's representative yammer on about his institution as he attempts to brainwash you? No? Well, pipe down - nobody asked you. That is precisely the problem. Nobody asked us if we wanted to receive information about these schools. Nobody asked us if we wanted to miss out on engaging class discussions, important lectures. Nobody asked us anything. Nine. Nine times in my short high school career, I have sat through seemingly endless sessions of "information and education" about schools and programs that are of no interest to me and have nothing, I repeat, nothing to do with the subject at hand. And not to sound selfish, but why am I here in the first place? Why do I spend six hours a day at TN? The answer, my friends, has nothing to do with DeVry. To be quite honest, the caliber of the schools whose representatives so frequently waste my time is not the outrageous part. For all I care, it could be a Stanford University spokesperson addressing my econ class week after week. The outrage is that any party not directly involved with a given subject is allowed to set foot in the classroom. You are in econ to learn about economics. You are in Government to learn about, well, the government. It is the job of your teachers and administrators to ensure that you do, and again, wasting class time hearing about a fourth-tier school from a random person is frankly uncalled-for. Never mind that these lectures take place before class-loads of seniors who have already applied (or been accepted) to colleges. Never mind that students often disrespect these speakers and hold them in contemptuous regard. The problem is simple: during these presentations, you are a captive audience. You can't run. You can't hide. All you can do is sit and inconspicuously doodle or play paper-football, or, if you get lucky, do some homework while a monotonous voice drones on and on about "your future at Heald." So, what to do about this predicament? Something must be done, for I fear that, if I am again subjected to the incoherent ranting of the man pictured to the right, my head will, in fact, burst. First, it is important to know that class time belongs to the teacher. Not the administrators, not the college representatives. The teachers. That means that your teachers are allowed to tell their superiors, "No. I will not let DeVry hold my class hostage. I have teaching to do." Can you ever imagine Ms. Tom or Ms. Potter letting that shit happen in their classrooms? Never. Why? Because they value their class time, and they value their subject matter. So the solution, it seems, is simple: communication. Tell your teachers that you value class discussions, and you are tired of being robbed of your education. The instructors at this school tend to know their subject matter, and this may (god-willing) be your last chance to learn from them. It is up to the teachers, in this case, to stand up for themselves and refuse the advances of these counter-educational presenters. I'm sure that, if all of a sudden teachers refused to let Heald and DeVry into their classrooms, Administration would find an amicable solution. Perhaps the best alternative is optional seminars in the library - ones for which students must sign up. This way, everybody is happy. Those interested in economics can learn it. Those interested in Heald and DeVry can find out more. Those interested in teaching can do their job. It's incumbent upon you, however, to encourage them and to refuse to be, yet again, taken captive. Glad I'm not that guy.	Archive Back Issues Why? Cartoons Poetry Random Rants Disclaimers Losers and Kudos of the Week Letters to the Editor Editor's Notes Picture of the Week
Back		Top

Thomas Paine

It started during my sophomore year. It took place once again when I was a junior. This year, it has happened seven times, and I fear it will happen again. Hundreds of impressionable teens, taken hostage. No choice. No mute button. No escape.

This isn't a story of youths held captive in far-off lands; it's a story about you; it's story about me; it's story about Terra Nova High and the third-party speakers to whose inanity the students of this fine school are subjected with alarming frequency.

Are you interested in DeVry "University" or Heald "College"? Did you sign up for a seminar about a fashion school in LA? Do you want to spend an hour of your time listening to one such school's representative yammer on about his institution as he attempts to brainwash you? No? Well, pipe down - nobody asked you.

That is precisely the problem. Nobody asked us if we wanted to receive information about these schools. Nobody asked us if we wanted to miss out on engaging class discussions, important lectures. Nobody asked us anything. Nine. Nine times in my short high school career, I have sat through seemingly endless sessions of "information and education" about schools and programs that are of no interest to me and have nothing, I repeat, nothing to do with the subject at hand. And not to sound selfish, but why am I here in the first place? Why do I spend six hours a day at TN? The answer, my friends, has nothing to do with DeVry.

To be quite honest, the caliber of the schools whose representatives so frequently waste my time is not the outrageous part. For all I care, it could be a Stanford University spokesperson addressing my econ class week after week. The outrage is that any party not directly involved with a given subject is allowed to set foot in the classroom. You are in econ to learn about economics. You are in Government to learn about, well, the government. It is the job of your teachers and administrators to ensure that you do, and again, wasting class time hearing about a fourth-tier school from a random person is frankly uncalled-for.

Never mind that these lectures take place before class-loads of seniors who have already applied (or been accepted) to colleges. Never mind that students often disrespect these speakers and hold them in contemptuous regard. The problem is simple: during these presentations, you are a captive audience. You can't run. You can't hide. All you can do is sit and inconspicuously doodle or play paper-football, or, if you get lucky, do some homework while a monotonous voice drones on and on about "your future at Heald."

So, what to do about this predicament? Something must be done, for I fear that, if I am again subjected to the incoherent ranting of the man pictured to the right, my head will, in fact, burst. First, it is important to know that class time belongs to the teacher. Not the administrators, not the college representatives. The teachers. That means that your teachers are allowed to tell their superiors, "No. I will not let DeVry hold my class hostage. I have teaching to do." Can you ever imagine Ms. Tom or Ms. Potter letting that shit happen in their classrooms? Never. Why? Because they value their class time, and they value their subject matter.

So the solution, it seems, is simple: communication. Tell your teachers that you value class discussions, and you are tired of being robbed of your education. The instructors at this school tend to know their subject matter, and this may (god-willing) be your last chance to learn from them. It is up to the teachers, in this case, to stand up for themselves and refuse the advances of these counter-educational presenters. I'm sure that, if all of a sudden teachers refused to let Heald and DeVry into their classrooms, Administration would find an amicable solution.

Perhaps the best alternative is optional seminars in the library - ones for which students must sign up. This way, everybody is happy. Those interested in economics can learn it. Those interested in Heald and DeVry can find out more. Those interested in teaching can do their job. It's incumbent upon you, however, to encourage them and to refuse to be, yet again, taken captive.

Glad I'm not that guy.