Forgoing the Boobies?


Articles Dante Alighieri Arthur Dent Jesus Jones Thomas Paine Other Authors Contact Us! Letter to the Editor Dante Alighieri Arthur Dent Jesus Jones Thomas Paine	Forgoing the Boobies? Yesterday, we were at Starbucks involuntarily eavesdropping on the conversation of two loud women who were bemoaning men in general for patronizing strip clubs. We had the computer out, and the following exchange ensued. Enjoy. Thomas Paine (male): I want to smack these bitches at the next table. They're shitting on some guy for participating in some strip-club action...saying that the guys are sexist for "objectifying" women. Wanna know what's sexist...assuming that the women have no say in the matter. Damn, bitches, it takes two to tango, and if a woman CHOOSES to dance topless in front of a bunch of men for a buck, far be it for ANYONE to rag on the guys for getting their jollies from it. Perhaps it is a deplorable practice, whatever. Just don't hate on the male population for partaking in the greater strip-club subculture. If women saw it as so "degrading," they'd effin' stop doing it. Strippers stop dancing; there are no strip clubs. Simple as that. Arthur Dent (female): However, that doesn't mean I'd be happy about my man frequenting said places! If a woman wants to dance naked, that's her problem - her personal degradation, but when my husband/boyfriend is visiting such establishments, that's my problem. What's wrong with me that he needs to visit strip clubs and see naked women? Am I not enough? Does looking lead to touching? Furthermore, you cannot argue that objectification of women isn't a problem - it IS. However, eliminating strip clubs doesn't solve that problem in the slightest. Eliminate men, and MAYBE you'll take care of it... TP: That statement, in and of itself, degrades women. Christ, it's not a commentary on the woman's ability to please the man when a guy goes to a titty bar and has a fuckin' beer after work. It's recreation time. Sometimes, a guy doesn't want to go home immediately after work because he can't stand his wife bitching at him incessantly. Maybe, he wants to chill with some friends and watch the boobies, free of commitment or consequences. Quit adopting the man-hating attitude that we should "get rid of men," and perhaps your husband/boyfriend won't need to seek solace from your bitchdom by dint of frequenting said bars. AD: Ouch! I don't know how looking at women's bodies is "recreation time," but whatever. Let's say it is. Let's say, though, that it bothers me. I'm uncomfortable with it. So I ask him if he could please forgo other women's boobies and spend more time with mine. What then? Am I being unreasonable, denying my man access to other women's bodies just because it bothers me? Is staring at other women's breasts some sort of right amongst men? What if I want to go look at some guy's "package"? Is that okay? Should he be 100% comfortable with me looking at another man's naked body? After all, I'm only looking. TP: Yes! It's a right, and a god-given one at that. They are not having sex with the women, merely feasting the eyes while talking with buddies. You are, as women tend to, reading TOO MUCH into the situation. Guys have an inherent desire to look at broads. Is that bad? And hey, if you WANT to look at some packages floppin' around on stage, help yourself. Once in the crowd, you may realize that you are a minority, as the female contingent rarely patronizes such places. Listen, it's not a "degrading" activity to chill in a nudie bar...it is, as I said, recreation time - and getting all up in arms only unveils one's insecurity. If the girls dance, don't look down on the men for watching. End scene. AD: I will admit that it's in a man's biology to notice women, to objectify women...but I don't have to LIKE it, for cryin' out loud! I don't have to be thrilled with my man at some skanky bar, looking at other women. I don't have to understand the need, if it's even a need. I have never been to a male strip club...ewww...nor do I see the need...just like I don't see the need for him to have a beer at a nudie bar. Why not a sports bar, for cryin' out loud? Go watch some fuckin' football and forgo the boobies...unless they're MINE. TP: In the interest of getting you to shut the fuck up with your insecure feminine bull, I will acquiesce here, more than anything, because I think my point was taken. You know that men need their "medicine," and that nothing's wrong with hitting a skanky bar to watch the boobies. Let us be, and quit driving us away with your obviously bellicose attitude. Alright already? Hey, this is pretty interesting. Wanna publish it? AD: Hell yes. Edited, of course. Comments? Write us @ TheSubterraneanTN@yahoo.com	Archive Back Issues Why? Cartoons Poetry Random Rants Disclaimers Losers and Kudos of the Week Letters to the Editor Editor's Notes Picture of the Week
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Yesterday, we were at Starbucks involuntarily eavesdropping on the conversation of two loud women who were bemoaning men in general for patronizing strip clubs. We had the computer out, and the following exchange ensued. Enjoy.

Thomas Paine (male): I want to smack these bitches at the next table. They're shitting on some guy for participating in some strip-club action...saying that the guys are sexist for "objectifying" women. Wanna know what's sexist...assuming that the women have no say in the matter. Damn, bitches, it takes two to tango, and if a woman CHOOSES to dance topless in front of a bunch of men for a buck, far be it for ANYONE to rag on the guys for getting their jollies from it. Perhaps it is a deplorable practice, whatever. Just don't hate on the male population for partaking in the greater strip-club subculture. If women saw it as so "degrading," they'd effin' stop doing it. Strippers stop dancing; there are no strip clubs. Simple as that.

Arthur Dent (female): However, that doesn't mean I'd be happy about my man frequenting said places! If a woman wants to dance naked, that's her problem - her personal degradation, but when my husband/boyfriend is visiting such establishments, that's my problem. What's wrong with me that he needs to visit strip clubs and see naked women? Am I not enough? Does looking lead to touching? Furthermore, you cannot argue that objectification of women isn't a problem - it IS. However, eliminating strip clubs doesn't solve that problem in the slightest. Eliminate men, and MAYBE you'll take care of it...

TP: That statement, in and of itself, degrades women. Christ, it's not a commentary on the woman's ability to please the man when a guy goes to a titty bar and has a fuckin' beer after work. It's recreation time. Sometimes, a guy doesn't want to go home immediately after work because he can't stand his wife bitching at him incessantly. Maybe, he wants to chill with some friends and watch the boobies, free of commitment or consequences. Quit adopting the man-hating attitude that we should "get rid of men," and perhaps your husband/boyfriend won't need to seek solace from your bitchdom by dint of frequenting said bars.

AD: Ouch! I don't know how looking at women's bodies is "recreation time," but whatever. Let's say it is. Let's say, though, that it bothers me. I'm uncomfortable with it. So I ask him if he could please forgo other women's boobies and spend more time with mine. What then? Am I being unreasonable, denying my man access to other women's bodies just because it bothers me? Is staring at other women's breasts some sort of right amongst men? What if I want to go look at some guy's "package"? Is that okay? Should he be 100% comfortable with me looking at another man's naked body? After all, I'm only looking.

TP: Yes! It's a right, and a god-given one at that. They are not having sex with the women, merely feasting the eyes while talking with buddies. You are, as women tend to, reading TOO MUCH into the situation. Guys have an inherent desire to look at broads. Is that bad? And hey, if you WANT to look at some packages floppin' around on stage, help yourself. Once in the crowd, you may realize that you are a minority, as the female contingent rarely patronizes such places. Listen, it's not a "degrading" activity to chill in a nudie bar...it is, as I said, recreation time - and getting all up in arms only unveils one's insecurity. If the girls dance, don't look down on the men for watching. End scene.

AD: I will admit that it's in a man's biology to notice women, to objectify women...but I don't have to LIKE it, for cryin' out loud! I don't have to be thrilled with my man at some skanky bar, looking at other women. I don't have to understand the need, if it's even a need. I have never been to a male strip club...ewww...nor do I see the need...just like I don't see the need for him to have a beer at a nudie bar. Why not a sports bar, for cryin' out loud? Go watch some fuckin' football and forgo the boobies...unless they're MINE.

TP: In the interest of getting you to shut the fuck up with your insecure feminine bull, I will acquiesce here, more than anything, because I think my point was taken. You know that men need their "medicine," and that nothing's wrong with hitting a skanky bar to watch the boobies. Let us be, and quit driving us away with your obviously bellicose attitude. Alright already? Hey, this is pretty interesting. Wanna publish it?

AD: Hell yes. Edited, of course.

Comments? Write us @ TheSubterraneanTN@yahoo.com