The Eight Spellings of Hanukkah


Articles Dante Alighieri Arthur Dent Jesus Jones Thomas Paine Other Authors Contact Us! Letter to the Editor Dante Alighieri Arthur Dent Jesus Jones Thomas Paine	The Eight Spellings of Hanukkah Arthur Dent Okay, so we all know that there's this other holiday in December (actually, it starts in November this year), but what the heck is Hanukkah? And how on earth do you spell it? And why doesn't it come on the same day every year like holidays are supposed to? The beautiful thing about Hanukah is that you cannot misspell it. Chanukkah, Hanukah, Chanukah, ChakaKhan…spell it however you like. It has been transliterated from Hebrew, which has a different alphabet, so you cannot misspell the darn thing. How convenient! Now, what is it? Here's the short version of the story: "A big miracle happened there." Got it? No? Okay, how about a slightly longer version… A long time ago (about 167 B.C.) in a galaxy far, far away (Israel), there lived the Israelites. They had their temple in Jerusalem and a nice little country. Unfortunately, the Syrians liked the land, too, so they conquered the place. Many of the Israelites went along with the new rulers because they felt they had no choice, but a small band of rebels, led by Judas Maccabee, decided that enough was enough, and they weren't going to sit idly by and let the Syrians run the show. Against all odds, the Maccabees fought back against the Syrians and were eventually victorious. When the Israelites returned to their temple, though, they found that the Syrians had desecrated it. In order for it to be rededicated to God, they would have to burn oil in the temple for 3 days. Only problem was that they only had enough oil for one night. No matter - they lit the oil for the one night…and it miraculously lasted for 8! A miracle had happened, and Haunkkah (however you choose to spell it) was born. For the past couple thousand years, Jews have celebrated Chaunakkah as one of the more minor holidays. It's a fun holiday, filled with great food, candles, and songs, but it's not a particularly important or serious time for the Jewish people. In fact, were it not for its coinciding with Christmas in December, most people probably wouldn't even exchange gifts for Hanukkah. Instead, Jews would spend more time gambling with the dreidel (another word you can't misspell) or eating Haunakah gelt (chocolate coins), traditionally given to children. As far as why this holiday-which-cannot-be-misspelled falls all throughout December, it has to do with the fact that the ancient Jews followed a lunar calendar instead of the Gregorian one we now use. If you go by a lunar calendar, Hanukkah really is at the same time every year (the 24th day of the month of Kislev). Of course, if you start writing lunar calendar dates on your papers in school, you're bound to confuse pretty much everyone, so we'll just have to stick with Hanukkkah seemingly all over the month of December. No matter when it falls, and no matter how you spell it, be sure to wish your Jewish friends, family, and teachers a "Happy Hanukkah!"	Archive Back Issues Why? Cartoons Poetry Random Rants Disclaimers Losers and Kudos of the Week Letters to the Editor Editor's Notes Picture of the Week
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Arthur Dent

Okay, so we all know that there's this other holiday in December (actually, it starts in November this year), but what the heck is Hanukkah? And how on earth do you spell it? And why doesn't it come on the same day every year like holidays are supposed to?

The beautiful thing about Hanukah is that you cannot misspell it. Chanukkah, Hanukah, Chanukah, ChakaKhan…spell it however you like. It has been transliterated from Hebrew, which has a different alphabet, so you cannot misspell the darn thing. How convenient! Now, what is it?

Here's the short version of the story: "A big miracle happened there." Got it? No? Okay, how about a slightly longer version…

A long time ago (about 167 B.C.) in a galaxy far, far away (Israel), there lived the Israelites. They had their temple in Jerusalem and a nice little country. Unfortunately, the Syrians liked the land, too, so they conquered the place. Many of the Israelites went along with the new rulers because they felt they had no choice, but a small band of rebels, led by Judas Maccabee, decided that enough was enough, and they weren't going to sit idly by and let the Syrians run the show. Against all odds, the Maccabees fought back against the Syrians and were eventually victorious. When the Israelites returned to their temple, though, they found that the Syrians had desecrated it. In order for it to be rededicated to God, they would have to burn oil in the temple for 3 days. Only problem was that they only had enough oil for one night. No matter - they lit the oil for the one night…and it miraculously lasted for 8! A miracle had happened, and Haunkkah (however you choose to spell it) was born.

For the past couple thousand years, Jews have celebrated Chaunakkah as one of the more minor holidays. It's a fun holiday, filled with great food, candles, and songs, but it's not a particularly important or serious time for the Jewish people. In fact, were it not for its coinciding with Christmas in December, most people probably wouldn't even exchange gifts for Hanukkah. Instead, Jews would spend more time gambling with the dreidel (another word you can't misspell) or eating Haunakah gelt (chocolate coins), traditionally given to children.

As far as why this holiday-which-cannot-be-misspelled falls all throughout December, it has to do with the fact that the ancient Jews followed a lunar calendar instead of the Gregorian one we now use. If you go by a lunar calendar, Hanukkah really is at the same time every year (the 24th day of the month of Kislev). Of course, if you start writing lunar calendar dates on your papers in school, you're bound to confuse pretty much everyone, so we'll just have to stick with Hanukkkah seemingly all over the month of December. No matter when it falls, and no matter how you spell it, be sure to wish your Jewish friends, family, and teachers a "Happy Hanukkah!"