Hidden Scars


Articles Dante Alighieri Arthur Dent Jesus Jones Thomas Paine Other Authors Contact Us! Letter to the Editor Dante Alighieri Arthur Dent Jesus Jones Thomas Paine	Hidden Scars Jesus Jones -"There's no place for a kid with grades like these in this family." -"Your grandfather must be turning over in his grave, listening to you." -"What do you mean you can't hold a 4.0, a place on the Varsity basketball team and a job?" -"Get out of my sight: you disgust me." Words can leave scars deeper than any belt… No one will deny that child abuse is a horrible thing or that abusers should be stopped. Most people know about and can identify children who are being physically abused: they don't relate well to peers, may be overly aggressive, show up with bruises in suspicious places all the time, so on and so forth. However, most people don't realize that there is another type of abuse that occurs between child and parent, one that doesn't leave any physical evidence: emotional abuse. Parents who emotionally abuse their children are usually unsure about their parenting abilities. Their whole lives are their children, so they often lack real connections with friends, relatives, and neighbors. They're not involved with the community, and they often have marital problems. These abusers, who claim to love their children very much and often appear to be good parents, will reject their progeny when they don't perform as desired. Name calling and insults are common, designed to make the child feel worthless and unwanted. The child often feels as though he or she is shaming the family and is a sorry excuse for a son/daughter. The parent may terrorize the child by ridiculing normal behavior, and they may expect their child to be able to achieve things far beyond their abilities. They may go so far as to threaten physical violence. But it doesn't stop there. Children who suffer from emotional abuse are often isolated from their peers by their parents; a large part of the abuse has to do with the parent maintaining complete control over the child. Teenagers in such a situation are often forbidden from participating in social activities outside of school. Furthermore, the parents don't trust their children and may snoop through personal belongings and punish them at the drop of a hat. They will frequently tell their children to do contradictory things, filling their young minds with doubt. "You got a D in English?! If that's how you're going to be, you can't use the computer any more. You deserve to fail." The teen is left reeling, not knowing which will come next: praise or punishment. Youth in this type of environment have many of obstacles to overcome and may have a hard time making friends, later becoming prone to depression. These children may have insomniac tendencies and may even attempt suicide. They're isolated from whatever friends they might have, and their parents do not show love in an effective way. They feel alone, uncared for, and like nothing but a burden to everyone around them. Worst of all, they've been manipulated into believing that it's all their fault. They deserve to feel this way. Fortunately, there is help for these kids, as there is increasing awareness of this abuse in the medical and psychological professions. If someone suspects that a child is being emotionally abused, pediatricians and Child Protective Services are more than willing to help. The best thing for these kids, though, is to be removed from the parents "care," where they daily and unwittingly fall victim to the deepest bruising of all.	Archive Back Issues Why? Cartoons Poetry Random Rants Disclaimers Losers and Kudos of the Week Letters to the Editor Editor's Notes Picture of the Week
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Jesus Jones

-"There's no place for a kid with grades like these in this family."
-"Your grandfather must be turning over in his grave, listening to you."
-"What do you mean you can't hold a 4.0, a place on the Varsity basketball team and a job?"
-"Get out of my sight: you disgust me."

Words can leave scars deeper than any belt…

No one will deny that child abuse is a horrible thing or that abusers should be stopped. Most people know about and can identify children who are being physically abused: they don't relate well to peers, may be overly aggressive, show up with bruises in suspicious places all the time, so on and so forth. However, most people don't realize that there is another type of abuse that occurs between child and parent, one that doesn't leave any physical evidence: emotional abuse.

Parents who emotionally abuse their children are usually unsure about their parenting abilities. Their whole lives are their children, so they often lack real connections with friends, relatives, and neighbors. They're not involved with the community, and they often have marital problems. These abusers, who claim to love their children very much and often appear to be good parents, will reject their progeny when they don't perform as desired. Name calling and insults are common, designed to make the child feel worthless and unwanted. The child often feels as though he or she is shaming the family and is a sorry excuse for a son/daughter. The parent may terrorize the child by ridiculing normal behavior, and they may expect their child to be able to achieve things far beyond their abilities. They may go so far as to threaten physical violence.

But it doesn't stop there. Children who suffer from emotional abuse are often isolated from their peers by their parents; a large part of the abuse has to do with the parent maintaining complete control over the child. Teenagers in such a situation are often forbidden from participating in social activities outside of school. Furthermore, the parents don't trust their children and may snoop through personal belongings and punish them at the drop of a hat. They will frequently tell their children to do contradictory things, filling their young minds with doubt. "You got a D in English?! If that's how you're going to be, you can't use the computer any more. You deserve to fail." The teen is left reeling, not knowing which will come next: praise or punishment.

Youth in this type of environment have many of obstacles to overcome and may have a hard time making friends, later becoming prone to depression. These children may have insomniac tendencies and may even attempt suicide. They're isolated from whatever friends they might have, and their parents do not show love in an effective way. They feel alone, uncared for, and like nothing but a burden to everyone around them. Worst of all, they've been manipulated into believing that it's all their fault. They deserve to feel this way.

Fortunately, there is help for these kids, as there is increasing awareness of this abuse in the medical and psychological professions. If someone suspects that a child is being emotionally abused, pediatricians and Child Protective Services are more than willing to help. The best thing for these kids, though, is to be removed from the parents "care," where they daily and unwittingly fall victim to the deepest bruising of all.