Shit that pisses us off...

-Girls who dot their I's with little hearts: C'mon, honey, it stopped being cute back in Second Grade.

-Pikachu: He's so damn cute and happy that I just want to throw him against the wall.

-Underwear is not meant to be a public fashion statement. Must we see any part of your boxers or your thong? Nothing against gratuitous semi-nudity, but if we want to see it, we'll ask -- in private. Modesty, people…

-Spam, part one: If I get one more unsolicited piece of email offering penis enlargement, I'm going to lose my mind. I don't even have a penis, dammit!

-Spam, part two: The fuck IS that stuff--pig in a can? Anybody?

-People who send us Loser of the Week nominations with no justification other than "I've hated him since the third grade."

-"Hawaiian Shirt Friday" in the Social Science Department: Hey, if you people knew anything about history, you'd know that those things went out of style over a decade ago. Get your girlfriends/wives to take you shopping. Now.

-Make-up in class (from Kdawg): Girls, would you please quit doing your make-up INCESSANTLY in class? If you have to make up something, try your Algebra homework.

-Political correctness: People, It's "Columbus Day," not "Indigenous Peoples' Day" like those douche-bags in Berserkeley say.

-Girls who don't shave their armpits. And on that note: French people in general.