Shit that pisses us off...

-Street prophets who tell me that Jesus loves me-"Yeah, well Satan loves you; he told me so! Now leave me alone."

-The Olsen twins: those brazen whores are corrupting America's youth one kid at a time.

-The jerk-off on the freeway who leaves his turn-signal on for miles at a time.

-Warren Sapp: shut your fucking face, uncle fucker!

-Celine Dion singing our National Anthem. Newsflash: she's CANADIAN!

-Mullets.

-Overuse of the word retarded: no witty quip here. You people seriously need to knock that shit off; it's not funny.

-Crazy-ass Raiders fans: "Yay! We're the greatest! Now let's burn down some fuckin' buildings!!!" And their ridiculous outfits: Look. It's a football game, not a Halloween party, you fucks.

-Deafeningly loud car alarms. Just hurry up and steal the damn car, alright?

-Leashes on children: the hell kind of sick shit is that, anyway?

-The Crocodile Hunter: "Wow! Look at the soize of that gator. I wonder what would happen if I poked him in the bunghole with this stick!" Moron. And on that note: Australians in general.

-12-year-old girls who dress like hussies, and, worse yet, the parents who let their pre-teen daughters wear thongs and tube-tops. She's 12. It's just not right...

-And on that note, R. Kelly: 33 counts of child pornography in the last year! Who the hell do you think you are? You know goddamn well only Catholic priests are allowed to get away with that.