Keep Your Rules off my Body!


Articles Dante Alighieri Arthur Dent Jesus Jones Thomas Paine Other Authors Contact Us! Letter to the Editor Dante Alighieri Arthur Dent Jesus Jones Thomas Paine	Keep Your Rules off my Body! Arthur Dent It's the first day of school. You walk into Teacher X's room, find a seat, and wait for the final bell to ring. Once it does, Teacher X starts in with the syllabus and the classroom rules. Top of the list: No eating in class. No drinking in class. No trips to the bathroom. Bottom line: forget you're a human being and deny your biological needs. No one can argue with the fact that eating in class could be disruptive. When Dominos delivers a pizza to class, obviously a line has been crossed. (Could be fun, but you couldn't blame the teacher for being a bit miffed.) Similarly, soda can spills are sticky, messy, and would interfere with the teaching and learning processes, and if students are constantly in and out of class going here, there, and everywhere, it could definitely disrupt classroom flow. However, these are the extreme possibilities, not the common occurrences which would happen in a classroom where eating, drinking, and moderate bathroom use are permitted. Here are the facts: Terra Nova students have 6 minutes to get from class-to-class. If you're trying to get from P-12 to Room 318 while pushing your way through our over-crowded hallways, that's barely enough time to simply get from one class to the other. Add in a quick stop at your locker, and you're rushing. Oh wait - you should stop at the bathroom before class, too. HA! Like that's going to happen, because you know damn good and well that if you're late to Teacher X's class, your grade could be reduced (the subject of another rant) or you could be assigned a thrilling 30 minute "campus beautification" period after school. So you bypass the bathroom (no time to stop, and there's a line anyway) and get to class on-time. You're pretty sure you can "hold it" for another 55 minutes, but about half-way through the class period, your eyes are turning yellow and your bladder downright hurts. Oh crap - what to do now? Teacher X says there are no bathroom opportunities. Must concentrate on learning about the French Revolution…like THAT can possibly happen as you're doing the I-really-have-to-go dance in your seat. What's wrong with this picture? Problem #1: 6 minutes just isn't long enough. Not with the crowded hallways, limited bathroom facilities, and spread out campus. If you're going to make us get to class in 6 minutes, be prepared to let us go to the bathroom now and then. Either that, or lengthen the passing period to 10 minutes. Problem #2: Holding one's bladder just isn't healthy. It can lead to bladder infections (now THERE'S fun), and, in rare cases, kidney problems. Problem #3: How on earth can one concentrate on ANYTHING when one's bladder is close to overflowing? Problem #4: Are teachers in class to teach or to police our bathroom habits? I thought that teachers' priorities were supposed to be our brains, not our bladders. Is there any educational basis for expecting students to pee at regular intervals? Now that we know the problems, let's look at some possible solutions: Solution #1: Teachers let students go to the bathroom as needed, one at a time. If someone abuses the bathroom privilege, they lose the privilege. Most students would be so thrilled to be allowed to void their own bladders as needed that they wouldn't take advantage. Besides that, if a teacher is really teaching, there would be enough going on that students wouldn't want to miss more than a minute or two because it would interfere with their ability to complete the homework or pass the test. (Teachers not teaching: there's the subject for another rant.) Solution #2: Lengthen the passing period to at least 10 minutes between classes. Yes, it would add 20 minutes to the school day, but at least we could get from class to class in a more humane fashion. Plus, we would have time to stop at the bathroom, grab a snack, or take a drink. Grab a snack, take a drink...what a novel concept. As things stand now, it's a school rule - not a classroom rule - that students do not eat or drink in classes. What's the problem? We get HUNGRY! Ever tried to concentrate when your stomach is growling louder than Jimmy the Mouth sitting next to you? It's just not possible. Furthermore, why shouldn't we eat? I'm not talking about pulling out a bag of extra-crunchy Doritos in the middle of a teacher's lecture per se, but what's so damn wrong with eating a granola bar in the middle of class? It doesn't smell, it's innocuous, and it wouldn't distract anyone. One might argue that the student doing the eating is distracting him/herself, but that's seriously flawed logic. It's far more distracting to be starving. One might also argue that 6 minutes is plenty of time to get from class to class and eat something, too. As to that ridiculous scenario, I can only say, "See stopping-at-the-bathroom-between-classes rant above." Add to the mix that attempting to eat and walk could be hazardous for the klutzy among us and unhealthy for the rest of us, as rushing to class while eating precludes chewing one's food as doctors recommend. So here's my plea to the teachers out there: treat us like responsible people, and maybe, just maybe, we'll act like responsible people. Allow us some bathroom access. Allow us to eat and drink within reason. We'll be more focused on learning if our biological needs have been met. And remember: even jail cells have toilets…	Archive Back Issues Why? Cartoons Poetry Random Rants Disclaimers Losers and Kudos of the Week Letters to the Editor Editor's Notes Picture of the Week
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Arthur Dent

It's the first day of school. You walk into Teacher X's room, find a seat, and wait for the final bell to ring. Once it does, Teacher X starts in with the syllabus and the classroom rules. Top of the list: No eating in class. No drinking in class. No trips to the bathroom. Bottom line: forget you're a human being and deny your biological needs.

No one can argue with the fact that eating in class could be disruptive. When Dominos delivers a pizza to class, obviously a line has been crossed. (Could be fun, but you couldn't blame the teacher for being a bit miffed.) Similarly, soda can spills are sticky, messy, and would interfere with the teaching and learning processes, and if students are constantly in and out of class going here, there, and everywhere, it could definitely disrupt classroom flow. However, these are the extreme possibilities, not the common occurrences which would happen in a classroom where eating, drinking, and moderate bathroom use are permitted.

Here are the facts: Terra Nova students have 6 minutes to get from class-to-class. If you're trying to get from P-12 to Room 318 while pushing your way through our over-crowded hallways, that's barely enough time to simply get from one class to the other. Add in a quick stop at your locker, and you're rushing. Oh wait - you should stop at the bathroom before class, too. HA! Like that's going to happen, because you know damn good and well that if you're late to Teacher X's class, your grade could be reduced (the subject of another rant) or you could be assigned a thrilling 30 minute "campus beautification" period after school. So you bypass the bathroom (no time to stop, and there's a line anyway) and get to class on-time. You're pretty sure you can "hold it" for another 55 minutes, but about half-way through the class period, your eyes are turning yellow and your bladder downright hurts. Oh crap - what to do now? Teacher X says there are no bathroom opportunities. Must concentrate on learning about the French Revolution…like THAT can possibly happen as you're doing the I-really-have-to-go dance in your seat. What's wrong with this picture?

Problem #1: 6 minutes just isn't long enough. Not with the crowded hallways, limited bathroom facilities, and spread out campus. If you're going to make us get to class in 6 minutes, be prepared to let us go to the bathroom now and then. Either that, or lengthen the passing period to 10 minutes.

Problem #2: Holding one's bladder just isn't healthy. It can lead to bladder infections (now THERE'S fun), and, in rare cases, kidney problems.

Problem #3: How on earth can one concentrate on ANYTHING when one's bladder is close to overflowing?

Problem #4: Are teachers in class to teach or to police our bathroom habits? I thought that teachers' priorities were supposed to be our brains, not our bladders. Is there any educational basis for expecting students to pee at regular intervals?

Now that we know the problems, let's look at some possible solutions:

Solution #1: Teachers let students go to the bathroom as needed, one at a time. If someone abuses the bathroom privilege, they lose the privilege. Most students would be so thrilled to be allowed to void their own bladders as needed that they wouldn't take advantage. Besides that, if a teacher is really teaching, there would be enough going on that students wouldn't want to miss more than a minute or two because it would interfere with their ability to complete the homework or pass the test. (Teachers not teaching: there's the subject for another rant.)

Solution #2: Lengthen the passing period to at least 10 minutes between classes. Yes, it would add 20 minutes to the school day, but at least we could get from class to class in a more humane fashion. Plus, we would have time to stop at the bathroom, grab a snack, or take a drink.

Grab a snack, take a drink...what a novel concept. As things stand now, it's a school rule - not a classroom rule - that students do not eat or drink in classes. What's the problem? We get HUNGRY! Ever tried to concentrate when your stomach is growling louder than Jimmy the Mouth sitting next to you? It's just not possible. Furthermore, why shouldn't we eat? I'm not talking about pulling out a bag of extra-crunchy Doritos in the middle of a teacher's lecture per se, but what's so damn wrong with eating a granola bar in the middle of class? It doesn't smell, it's innocuous, and it wouldn't distract anyone. One might argue that the student doing the eating is distracting him/herself, but that's seriously flawed logic. It's far more distracting to be starving. One might also argue that 6 minutes is plenty of time to get from class to class and eat something, too. As to that ridiculous scenario, I can only say, "See stopping-at-the-bathroom-between-classes rant above." Add to the mix that attempting to eat and walk could be hazardous for the klutzy among us and unhealthy for the rest of us, as rushing to class while eating precludes chewing one's food as doctors recommend.

So here's my plea to the teachers out there: treat us like responsible people, and maybe, just maybe, we'll act like responsible people. Allow us some bathroom access. Allow us to eat and drink within reason. We'll be more focused on learning if our biological needs have been met. And remember: even jail cells have toilets…