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You Ain't Nevah Had A
Friend Like Me

The girl was a rather antisocial little thing until after high school, so she didn't have many friends. Luckily for her, a few people saw through her venomous exterior and decided to be friends with her, a gesture for which she is eternally grateful. Remember... friends help you move; real friends help you move the bodies.

The Best of the Best

The girl's best friend since age four has been kresie. These two have sat through countless 4-H meetings, history lectures, and French lessons together, trying to keep each other from going too crazy. Whenever the girl has a problem, she knows kresie will ask the tough questions that make the girl really think about whatever she's gotten herself into. Even though they're currently in different parts of the country (the girl up north and kresie down south), they keep in contact through emails and phone calls. Some of kresie's interests include Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Television Without Pity, theology, psychology, U2, and a show she and the girl might eventually try out for, The Amazing Race.

Mixed Nuts

Some other friends who deserve to be mentioned are: The Great and Powerful Fire Penguin (not to be trusted with a Mag-Lite), Amergein (he looks like the devil... well, like the devil on crack, but you get the idea), Äzarel (he is the devil, and he'll prove it if you touch his queue), CorBear ("I'm an Oracle of Time. I'll be when I want."), Cowboy (see you on Broadway someday), Ex-Trainee Page (what the piss, trainee?), MandaPanda (no, I don't think there's a good market for shrunken heads, so put the teacher back where he belongs), Kellyroo (no more diary... *sniff*), Kimbo (where are you??), Margalit (knows how to have fun in a bathtub), MrNoSuch (now with MrsNoSuch!), SpaceMonkey (part mountain goat), Snyder (sexy helicopter guy), and Windu (rar!).

The Last Word

In addition to all the friends, the girl would like to mention someone she used to think of as a friend. She called him Prince Charming, because that's what he seemed like for a while, but he turned out to be a frog... a spineless, childish, careless frog. Mentioning him here is the girl's way of finding closure on the subject. Her public proclamation of her distain for this creature is, she finds, theraputic. One of these days, she'll go on a road trip and administer some "therapy" in person. Hear that, Charming? You've been warned. You don't break a girl's heart and then disappear without consequences.

Content Copyright © 2002 L. Force unless otherwise noted. You hear that? It's mine. All mine! Steal it, and I'll come after you with a rusty spoon. Then I'll make you drink water from that rusty spoon and you'll gag because drinking water from a rusty spoon is disgusting and you'll get really upset because you should have known better than to steal my friggin material. So, um, don't steal. If you think I'm brilliant enough to quote, tell me and provide a link back here. Thanks muchly. Want another disclaimer? Click here.