"CRY" by Sarah Ryniker

STORY LAST UPDATED ON 20/12/2002

AUTHOR'S NOTE

This story has a high sexual content.

Cry Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Epilogue

CHAPTER SIX: ON THE JOB

When I had begun to work as a stripper, I had planned to hide only that from Mother. I had never any intention of hiding anything from her. Now I was making up lies left and right. Most of the time Landon kept me there overnight. And every morning I would walk in with a new story. I could tell she was suspicious, but she never said anything.
    I had lost Francine as a friend. I could tell she was disgusted with me. I wanted so badly to tell her the truth of what was going on. But even if Landon hadn't forced me into secrecy, she wouldn't have listened. She hated the sight of me. I had disappointed her, the only friend I'd ever had. I felt lousy. I was lying to the two people I loved.
    All of the girls knew what was going on. All of them avoided me. They were all disgusted with me. I understood, but then again, I didn't. Hadn't Francine told me that Landon often used the girls? Maybe it wasn't disgust, I relented in the end. Maybe it was the fact that it brought back their own memories. Or maybe some, if not all, were like Laura, and were very jealous.
    And Laura was highly jealous, more so now than she had been before. Every time she passed me, she would purposely try to trip me or she would make a nasty comment. I hated going to work. I still did my best to make the extra tips that I was often given. Yet my stomach did flip-flops, making me nauseous, every night before I had to go to work. When I would walk back into the dressing room, I would receive looks of disgust from the girls and a few rude comments from Laura.
    The worst part about it all was the fact that Landon would grope me in front of people. If I were to be bending over to place a mug of beer onto someone's table, he would walk up behind me and would grab my rear.
    One time when he did this, I'd finally had enough. "Landon, I am trying to work here. Can't you at least leave me alone during these hours?" The guys at the table perked up, wanting to know what was going on. I knew that my attitude could very well chase the customers off, but I didn't care any longer. It was almost worth going back to poverty.
    He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me closer. "You're mine, Cry, and I want that to be known."
    "I belong to no one. And if you feel that way, then I may as well work only as your whore. After all, no customer of yours is going to want to even look at a taken woman," I snapped.
    "Oh, Cry, don't feel that way. I do not pay you to have sex with me," he said this loud enough for the customers to hear clearly.
    "Like hell you don't, you son of a bitch," I hissed, just as loud. I walked away then, not wanting to deal with it any longer. I would not fight with him in front of them.
    However, the fight wasn't over. He followed me back to the bar. Unlike most bars, the bar was relatively quiet because all of the men were busy watching the strippers, who you couldn't see from the bar. And Landon liked the privacy that we would have there. I realised too late what a mistake it had been to go to the bar.
    I felt his presence before he spoke. He walked up behind me and stood for a second. I could feel his eyes looking me up and down in my uniform, which didn't give much to the imagination. It was a simple blue and white costume. It was in two pieces, the top no more than a blue, nearly transparent silk bra. The bottom was like a pair of daisy duke shorts, so high my rear was partially hanging out, especially when I would bend over. The blue silk was lined with white fur. I, like the other girls, had to pile my hair onto my head with a little white fur headband piece and curls coming down the sides. I thought we looked rather ridiculous, but the men, especially Landon, seemed to like it.
    His hands were suddenly on my arms, rubbing them up and down. He stood so close I could feel his body just an inch or so away from my body. His breath was heavy on my neck and I felt, once more, the need to vomit.
    I swallowed hard and tried to ignore it. But he spoke closely to my ear, forcing me to listen to him. "Let us not argue, my dear. I know you're upset, but I'll make it up to you tonight. I promise."
    I stiffened. "Do you actually think that I enjoy being somebody's prostitute? To be honest with you, Landon, I feel like throwing up every time you come within feet of me. You disgust me. I only do it because I need to keep my mother and myself from living on the streets."
    His eyes darkened drastically, and I almost regretted my words. I knew that I would definitely regret it later. "You'll get what you deserve later. I'll really make you feel like no more than a whore." He left with that, and I felt my stomach fall to the floor. My nerves were on edge for the rest of the night.
    I didn't get to dance that night, because I was a waitress for the night. In fact, I rarely got to dance anymore. It was obvious that he wanted to lay complete claim to me. He scared me with his possessiveness. It was as if I were no more than an animal that he used and played with whenever he felt like. And, like any abused animal, I had no choices in the matter.
    When I spotted Laura leave the dressing room, I decided to go in and change out of my uniform. I could hear some of the girls wondering, sarcastically, out loud about why I was changing clothes if I was just going to come out of them soon anyway. I felt tears pierce my eyes, but I forced them to stay back until later when they were gone.
    After I had dressed into my clothes, which consisted of a skirt and shirt that Landon had requested I wear, I was about to leave. Carly and Francine were the only ones left in the dressing room, but after I had finished buttoning up my shirt, she had left. That left Francine and me alone.
    "You do it against your will, don't you?" I heard her voice pierce the ever-widening silence between us.
    I pretended to be interested in a button on my shirt. "No, of course not. I have more will than to give into a man's demands." I felt the lie roll off of my tongue, but my voice hadn't sounded convincing even to my own ears.
    She came up to me and forced me to look at her. "You think I'm stupid but I know you're hiding something from me and from your mother. If you would just speak up this could be stopped."
    "There is nothing to speak up about." I held my tongue that wanted ever so much to just spill out the horrible truth and details about it.
    She let out a frustrated groan and left me in the room without saying goodbye. I was miserable as I stood there. I knew that Landon would come soon. God only knew where he would want to have sex with me this time. He'd already had me in every disgusting way out in the bar and stage room.
    When he came to me, I already felt the need to grovel at his feet and apologise. His eyes were dark with anger and passion. His need to have me right then and there frightened me. How could he want me that badly? Did he really want to punish me that much for what I had said?
    He grabbed my hair and pulled back until his breath and hot kisses were on my neck. He sucked until it hurt, but to my utter surprise, I felt something I had never felt before. It almost felt good.
    His hand pulled at my clothes roughly. He didn't care where they went. This was much like the first night that I could remember, and yet it was different, too. He was touching me and pulling me and doing things to me very roughly. And I was enjoying it.
    For the first time since it had all started, I liked the things that he was doing to me. It was frightening to me that I liked it. I could tell that he grew excited by the moans that were unwillingly escaping my lips. The part of me that knew all of this was wrong was yelling and screaming at me and made me feel like crying.
    But the other part of me had taken complete control. His lips and teeth were all over my body, and a fire was building heavily in my stomach and working its way through my veins. My blood pumped faster and I gave in and responded to every touch. I knew it was wrong, yet I couldn't stop myself.
    His hands had been gentle and almost loving every other time we'd had sex. But the rougher it seemed, the better it felt. I liked the way he had tugged at my shirt and bra to yank it down around my elbows just to hurry up and get to the nipples beneath. He never finished undressing me before roughly picking me up and tossing me onto the couch.
    It was the first orgasm I had ever had. And when it was over and we were both very spent, I felt so incredibly guilty. What had I done? It had been different before. I hadn't wanted it or enjoyed it. But this time I hadn't been able to control my body. A part of me had taken over. It was a part of me that I'd never known existed. And it was a part of me that frightened me to the depths of my very core.
    I had wanted him to be all over me this time. I had wanted him to push, shove, bite and do all sorts of other wicked things that would have disgusted me before. What was wrong with me? Why had I responded the way I had?
    That night I made the decision not to stay beside him and let it happen again. I feared what would happen if I were to like his touching again. I managed to wiggle out from beneath him while he lay atop of me sleeping. He didn't wake and I quickly straightened myself.
    I peered into the mirror to see if everything was in place, and what I saw there frightened me. For I saw myself, but I was disgusting to me when I had never been before. I had felt like a whore before, but now the feeling was much worse than before. I was no better than some streetwalker. I was getting paid for having sex with a man I hardly knew, and I was now beginning to like it. I was a disgusting person.
    As I left the dressing room, I silently prayed that I would have a job come the next night. I didn't want him to fire me for leaving him there, expecting more. And I knew he was expecting much more. But I couldn't stay there. The fear of enjoying his touch once more was suffocating.
    Just as I stepped out of the dressing room, however, I looked over into the shadows to see a figure standing there, watching me. I stood utterly still, staring at the figure that was staring back at me. I waited, wanting to know whom it was.
    Finally, Laura appeared from the shadows, a look of disgust upon her face. "I've heard you complain to yourself and to Landon about having sex with him. But by the sounds of it you more than enjoy it."
    "Leave me alone, Laura, you don't know what you're talking about." I felt the shame warm my cheeks quickly.
    "Oh, yes I do. And if you want it to be kept secret from your precious mother, then you'd better quit here soon. I'm giving you two weeks."
    My mouth dropped to the floor. "The only reason I am doing this is to keep my job, Laura! You can't do this to me!" I cried out. I didn't want to whine, beg or plead; yet I was ready to do just that.
    "I want him back, Cry. You took him from me. Now I am being generous enough to let you find a new job. But you will most certainly leave." She left me no choices about it. She turned and left before I could say another word.
    I stood there in the shadows, ashamed of myself. For now I felt different. It didn't just want to keep Mother and myself out of poverty, I wanted to stay Landon's lover. I had enjoyed it to the point of wanting him again already. And to my own disgust, I turned around and walked back into the dressing room.

Cry Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Epilogue

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