"CRY" by Sarah Ryniker

STORY LAST UPDATED ON 20/12/2002

AUTHOR'S NOTE

This story has a high sexual content.

Cry Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Epilogue

CHAPTER NINE: PLANS AND SECRETS

I began to plan out my move. I knew there were a lot of things that needed to be done, including getting rid of some things. I chose to have a yard sale, and began rummaging through some of my old stuff that I had managed to bring with me from my childhood. I also started going through Mother's old things as well.
    Everything I touched began to bring back memories. Most of them were bittersweet. They were good memories of my father when I was a little girl. But remembering those good times made me remember him walking out on us. And that brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't understand his cruelty, his hatred. It hurt, but I didn't know what hurt worse, the fact that he left without a word in my direction, except to insult me, or the fact that I didn't understand it.
    Mother, I found, kept an extreme amount of things. Not materialistic things that I could sell, however. Everything that was in her special trunk was precious; family things that were priceless, such as pictures and arts and crafts that had been made during school. Not everything that had been made was from me, however. Though much of the noodle necklaces and the finger-painted pictures were mine, there were three other children that she had kept things from.
    As I began to look through her many pictures, I found pictures of Daddy, Mother and me. Some were of them as children with their parents, though never together as children. Some were of me as a baby and a little girl; though the pictures stopped after I turned sixteen and they realised that I had my mind set on never growing up. How long ago that seemed, yet it had only been slightly over a year.
    I looked through her jewellery and found things that I could sell, including the box itself. I had no use for the stuff. Neither had she towards the end. I hadn't seen a single piece of jewellery on Mother since Daddy had walked out. Even her wedding ring had been stashed away.
    But as I looked through her stuff further, I found a box of old letters. I bit the side of my lip, debating on whether or not to read them. I imagined that they could be from Daddy when they were young and in love. Or they could be from family. Or maybe some old boyfriend or boyfriends that she had as a teenager. My curiosity became too much for me to handle and I picked up one letter and began to read it.

Dear Colleen,
    I don't really understand what happened and where I went wrong. I only wanted the best for us both. But you, obviously, had other plans in mind. I loved you, I still do. I always will. I know, however, that you never loved me. Our marriage was far too arranged by your father, and we both know you hate him. Maybe our marriage could have been better had he not arranged it. After all, we were friends at one point in time.
    I am glad that you wrote me and told me where you are. I know it's only so you can keep in contact with the other children. Kassy misses you so much, Colleen. She's only three years old. She just doesn't understand. And the twins are just three months old. They'll never even know who you are. Doesn't that bother you?
    Oh well, I guess I'll stop trying to make you feel bad. I know that you'll never come back, and I'll continue to miss you for a long time, maybe for the rest of my life. I'll send pictures and crafts that the kids make. Maybe you'll realise what you've done and my hopes of you returning will come true.
    With love,
    Tomas Lavigne

    I skimmed over the letter three more times before it really clicked that Mother had been married before Daddy. It also took a minute for me to realise that the children he spoke about were my siblings; also the other three children Mother had collected things from over the years.
    I knew that it wouldn't be right for me to go there. I wasn't Tomas Lavigne's daughter. I was nobody to him. But I wanted so much to know Mother's family, my family. I was so alone in life now. What was I supposed to do?
    I read the address and saw that they lived in a bay area town called Carmel. It was a tourist town with a lot of beach and hotels. When I looked at the pictures Mother kept, I saw that it appeared to be rather beautiful. I thought about it, and thought that maybe someday I could visit. I would debate on it, but not before I at least attempted to get my life into more order. I was too much of a mess right now.
    I read through more letters and found out that I had twin siblings that were only a year older than me. One was a boy, the other a girl. The girl's name was Felicity and the boy was Edward, or Eddie, as Tomas referred to him in the letters. I soon found out that Eddie had been blind since he had been kicked in the head at the age of nine.
    Felicity, as I saw in the pictures, was a beautiful girl. She resembled Mother a lot; only she had light brown hair. I watched her grow up in the pictures and saw that she was always more beautiful with every passing year. The last picture Mother had received of them all was two months ago. I couldn't help but wonder where I had been when she was receiving these things.
    Kassy, my sister who was four years older than me, wasn't actually named Kassandra. She, too, was extremely beautiful. She resembled her father more, however. She had light brown hair and eyes so dark brown they appeared black in the pictures. They were large and innocent looking. She had such a sweet look to her, and I had an urge to rush there to meet her, and the other two.
    I knew that going there would make such a mess of life, for all of us. I didn't need anymore stress in my life. I needed time to sort through my life. I needed time to start my own life. I was scared, I admit. I had never been out of Washington. But I had to get out of here. I was too alone here, and going to a big city could be a good thing for me.
    I thought about what I should do, and decided that I would need a job before going out there. And probably a place to stay. Thank God for the Internet. I began searching through their online papers for rooms for rent. I decided that moving in with someone would be of interest to my lack of funds. Maybe somebody would give me a home for a short while until I could find a job.
    So I began to call the numbers that I found, in spite of the long distance. After seven people turning me down, I felt at a complete loss as to what to do. If nobody would take me in, I couldn't move. And I'd already told my boss that I would soon be leaving.
    Finally on the eighth call, a young woman answered the phone. Her voice was high pitched and sounded quite young, too young to be on her own. She sounded no more than five or six.
    "Masters' residence, Kylie speaking." She sounded so young and cute, but I didn't know whom to ask for.
    "Um, hello, Kylie. Is your… mother home?" I hoped that I was asking for the right person.
    She seemed to think for a second and finally she called to her mother. I heard the phone shift and another voice on the line. "Hello?"
    "Hi, my name is Cry Fawrling, and I was calling for your ad in the paper, you know, about the roommate." I felt awkward asking a million people the same thing. I felt as if I were begging.
    "Oh! Yes, I've been waiting for someone to finally call about that! I'm Kimberly Masters. And all I really need to know is your age and you're in. I need someone to come here so badly!" She sounded desperate, and I immediately almost hung up the phone.
    "Well, if you need somebody that badly, Ms Masters, I'm afraid you won't want me. You see, I live in Washington right now, and I couldn't help out until I got a job," I explained regretfully.
    "Hmm, well, I know you must have called a million people by now. You know what, I don't care. Come here and we'll figure it out." I was so shocked to hear her words, but I nearly jumped for joy.
    "I'm nineteen by the way. And you won't regret this, I promise!" She asked for a little more information about me and we started talking a little bit. Finally, she gave me the address and I hung up.
    I felt a sense of complete, utter relief. After hanging up the phone, I began packing immediately. I called my boss and told him that I would be giving my two weeks' notice in exactly one month.
    I was loading up my car and the small trailer I'd rented one week after Christmas. I decided not to go bother her so close to Christmas. So I made my date, and began to move out there. I was nervous as I loaded the last box into the trailer. I'd lived here my entire life, completely sheltered. I couldn't help wondering if I could do this.
    I was just about to get into the car when I heard my voice being called. I turned around to see Francine running in my direction. I raised my eyebrows, not knowing what to expect.
    "Take me with you!" she cried out breathlessly. "I have nothing here, Cry. Please, let me go."
    I thought about it. Kimberly was going to leave the ad in the paper for another roommate. So I nodded, and suddenly all of Francine's things were shoved in tightly with mine. It did make me feel more secure knowing that she was coming with me. Now I wouldn't be alone, going out there or living there.
    We left town without a second glance back. It held horrible memories for both of us. I wasn't sure I would ever want to remember being here. As I left town I promised myself that I would never look back again, and I would forget the horrible things that had happened. From now on, I would be a new person. And it felt good to think that way. I smiled to myself as I saw the sign telling me that I was leaving Shelton, Washington. But I didn't know what Las Vegas, Nevada, held in store for me.

Cry Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Epilogue

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