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| The Public Cervix Brought to you by: Gia & Lina the 'dangeroud' ones |
| 5.27.01 (more than one in a week?!) |
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| the gay gene - 2.25.01 sunna suggestions - 3.04.01 trouser snakes - 3.12.01 our porno radio - 3.20.01 wheres the lips (from) - 4.03.01 never mind the vraun - 4.22.01 |
| Archived Cautions |
| ~*~How To Be An MC~*~ (by Lina, AGAIN.. hello gia are you going to write anything anymore??) In the Public Cervix Announcements, we try to guide you on how to behave in your normal every day lives.. that is, the life of a freak. Today, I am going to teach you how to be an MC - that is, the little person in garage songs that helps the DJ. Example - DJ Luck is accompanied by MC Neat So, being an MC. Why be an MC? In your freak-life you may have noticed that non-freaks often get a lot of attention. People may walk round with them, sit next to them, and even talk to them. This is called HAVING FRIENDS, and can only be achieved by those of medium-high intelligence. One good way to get friends, or at least get people to PRETEND they might one day think about being your friend, is by impressing them with an unusual skill.. so why not be an MC? How to be an MC in a few easy steps... 1. Everytime you answer the phone, or the door, or hold a conversation with someone, try to speak as quickly as possible. Why not? =>Why not try answering their questions before they even ask them? =>Why not try timing how quickly you can recite your personal details, and then trying to beat that time, so achieving a "personal best"? =>Why not race your friends when reciting mundane things such as French Vocab, and shopping lists? ---------------- 2. Create a phrase that you can say quickly and easily, to greet fellow MC's or impress your "friends" when you confront them. For example: "dibby dubby dibby" (ref. Piano Loco) "doo doo doo" (ref. Do U Really Like It) "jiggy jiggy" (ref. Will Smith, Slim Shady) ---------------- 3. Listen to these songs, recommended by Wherestheclit.com as suitable starting points for an MC. Play them as you sleep, eat, and go about your daily activities, muttering the words to yourself. Don't worry, you won't look crazy.. everybody does it, honest! Wherestheclit.com recommends you steal from Napster these songs: Piano Loco - DJ Luck & MC Neat Do U Really Like It - DJ Pied Piper VS. the Masters of Ceremony R U Ready - Artful Dodger Oxide & Neutrino - Bound For Da Reload BUT... reciting songs by Craig David do not count in your MCing abilities - he is a pretend MC, therefore you in turn are a FRAUD! ----------------- 4. Take on a hardened London accent, incorporating words such as "Da", "Innit", "Bo", and "True Dat" for effect. The more offense caused by the use of this accent, the better. Why not? =>Why not practise your accent in some of the roughest areas of London? =>Why not phone a record company claiming to be the "latest thing" in MC's, and sign a record deal? ---------------- So there you have it, you are a real MC! Make sure you keep practising these song words, and impress all your friends. Improve your popularity through comments such as.. "I can't MC to this song, he is far too slow for my professional style" Have fun, and good luck! Da Gals at Wherestheclit.com x x x (Wherestheclit.com does not accept responsibility for any loss of respect that occurs through the practise of what they preach, or for the effects of wandering around in London saying strange things) |
| MC CLIT |