| 3.20.2001 (Tue) I can't breathe....if breathing is without you!!!! ..... no .. it's not you .... I mean the nasal strip...lol I always have a stuffy nose due to the allergies, but I don't even know what I am allergic to.. dust? pollen?..perhaps..I don't know..but I know I always sneeze for nothing even I am not sick with cold. I used to have a Vicks inhaler with me all the time when I was in HK. Esp when I was in high school, my classmates all know that "Helen always has an inhaler and a handkerchief" ....One day, Rosa introduced me the nasal strip. It really helps, but it looks weird when you put this thing on your nose and walk on the street. Like today...... I know.... I look awful with the nasal strip.......Oh....be nice to me .... I have a stuffy nose..... :( 3.21.2001 (Wed) I'm getting crazy again...It's now 1:21am late at night, cold, silent, and lonely. I went to the kitchen and wanted to drink some water. I was thinking " I am not drinking water. This is not water." From the Chemistry book, and also from what the scientists have said "This is H2O." ........ how can I believe it?? I was drinking some particles. Some Hydrogen particles and Oxygen particles... and the ratio of hydrogen and oxygen is 2:1. You are not drinking alcohol. You are drinking "CH3OH" or "CH3CH2OH" You are not putting diamond on your neck. You are putting "Carbon with strong bonds in between" on your neck. So next time when I eat out with my friends, should I say " Could you please pass me some Sodium Chloride." ? ....lol Sigh.... my name is bond........ covalent bond....lol..... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Tomorrow, I will have a chemistry test. how dare I spent the whole day with my dad in Bby, cooked a nice western style dinner, went to playdium with cousins after dinner, got home @10:30 and bathe....and watched fireworks...THEN .. FINALLY I started to study Chemistry at 11:30.... until now ...12:39am.... sometimes I think ...I do my Chemistry halfhearted. Even it's now all calculations, I should't do my study in the last minute...... and in fact... the teacher told me she is not going to give us multiple choice.... and that's why I studied for the test.....sigh...... when will all my lazy viruses be killed? Anyway...I really like the dinner I made tonight... :) mushroom cream soup + homemade garlic bread + ceasar salad + 2pizzas from Super Store + bake bacon + salmon sashimi + leftover fruit salad .. yum! aiyo.... I ate too much and drank too much soda today..... :p ....lol Alfred and Martin are enjoying their spring break... they stayed over night here..... sigh.... they yelled to go to Playdium........ what a "bigger cousin" should do ? ... be the driver and watched them play there......lol 3.22.2001 (Thur) Another strange sleeping habit. My bed is just a twin bed, not a king size bed, but I always put a lot of cushions on my bed and that makes my bed crowded....lol Also , I have two pillows..I sleep on one of them, and I put the other one beside me when I sleep... It's silly.... but it makes me feel safe...The less space I have, more safe I feel. When I first came to Canada, I stayed in my aunt's house for about 10 months. I slept on a double bed. It was a bad bad bad experience. I didn't have any cushions or extra pillow. I always woke... it was like I was having a bad dream or I was scared by "something" and woke suddenly. After a few months, I learnt... I put my school bag right beside me when I slept. lol... Like yesterday, I gave one of my pillows to Martin, so I put my school bag with books inside beside me... :p ... It feels so different ..... but better than nothing beside me..lol... 3.23.2001 (Fri) Finally, Rosa moved out from her host family. She gave me a new Tel # and a new add....sigh...I hope she will be fine of living on her own. Doing laundry, cooking, cleaning.....etc by herself.... also she has to study. I think it is good for her coz then she can learn to be independent. Sigh..... 40 more days she will be 22 and me I have 5 more months. 22 YEARS OLD!!! For some people, 22 is nothing...but for us ma :( sigh...... Rosa once told me that she wanted to get marry. Well, I wasn't surprised since she always does something UNexpected.... you can never predict what she is going to do. But getting marry that young ?? No way.. now I don't even want a b/f ..... marry ?? till... Anyway I just don't want to talk about this all the time. I'm not going to get marry within 10 years.... and I 'm not going to have a b/f within 5 years..... that's the period I set up for myself few years ago. Perhaps I will be "zip joe la", perhaps I will be alone for the rest of my life, perhaps I will go to visit different places with my lucky backpack.... who knows... :) .... I know I am happy now.. I know I am satisfy with what I am doing now. The world is so big.. I wanna see a lot of things, I wanna try, to feel, to learn a lot of things.... of course .... even I have a b/f or husband, I can still do those "things" But I would feel totally different. Life is short, why people always waste time on that kinds of thing ...(including myself) I don't understand ...... and also I don't want to know what is going on ....... so even if you know the answer ... don't tell me coz I don't want to know. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Does it sound sad to you guys? I'm sorry if you are feeling so... I am not sad, and I am not worrying about anything so please don't worry. Even I said life is short, I won't commit suicide for just not having a b/f..... You think too much.. sigh...But thank you for caring me so much... :) .. and now I know you have read my secrets. I'm no longer in the age to do silly things or to be a cutie, or try to commit suicide to get people's attentions....sigh.... 22years old lah. Not a little girl anymore. Just a moment ... let me see the fireworks first... yes ,, fireworks again. I'm back...Ok.. life is like fireworks.... short but beautiful... ok ? Don't worry about me... I am as strong as an iron bar.... I won't turn into cotton. got it ? Back to archives Prev, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, next |