I
FUCKING HATE TV!!!
I
FUCKING HATE TV!!!
TV is a fucking joke now. There are no edgy shows which push the line. There are no interesting shows which make you think. And worst of all, there are no funny shows which make you laugh. Shows still attempt to be funny. However, the attempt is futile because every show is exactly the fucking same. Since I have absolutely no life, I have compiled a list of "Primetime" tv shows to prove that there is nothing good on tv. The following list excludes any movies that might have been playing during a time slot. Heheh....slot.
Synopsis
If you don't want to read all of this crap and you just want the stats, then here you go you fucking dipshit. These are the the most common types of sitcom premises and the number of shows under each category:
Family Sitcom - 18
Crime / Law - 12
Bachelor(ette) Sitcom - 9
Reality Contest - 9
Investigative Reporting - 5
Reality Dating Show - 4
What does this tell us? TV doesn't have what you want to watch, it has what the TV execs want you to watch. And the local channels wonder why they are losing so much of an audience to cable TV. Now cable TV isn't the end-all-cure-all, it's more of the same 6 topics listed above except you pay for it. The big 3 channels own all the cable channels too, so it's not like you are fighting the man by watching cable anyways. In closing, the big 3 (ABC, CBS, NBC), the alcoholic uncle (FOX), and the two red-headed step-children (WB, UPN) will always suck.
| Show | Station | Premise | Analysis |
| Monday | |||
| 8:00 | |||
| Fear Factor | NBC | Reality Contest | I've got an idea. Let's make people jump off things and eat bugs. We'll be kings. Joe Rogan is a douchebag. |
| Yes, Dear | CBS | Family Sitcom | Dumb husband and strong, level-headed wife raising ugly kids. The guy from Boston Public plays a pussy husband and the guy from Nickelodeon GUTS plays his wacky neighbor. |
| 8 Simple Rules | ABC | Family Sitcom | Dumb husband and strong, level-headed wife raising ugly kids and a semi-hot daughter. John Ritter's agent must be giving Satan head because there's no way he deserves a career that lasts this long. He will always be Jack Tripper in my mind and he should've died after doing the Problem Child movies |
| Anything for Love | FOX | Reality Dating Show | Camera-hungry sluts date verginer-hungry douchebag guys |
| 7th Heaven | WB | Family Sitcom | This proves that pastors have the hottest daughters and gayest sons |
| The Parkers | UPN | Bachelor(ette) Sitcom | A bunch of people you never heard of are trying to make it in the city |
| Show | Station | Premise | Analysis |
| Monday | |||
| 8:30 | |||
| Still Standing | CBS | Family Sitcom | Dumb husband and strong, level-headed wife raising ugly kids |
| According to Jim | ABC | Family Sitcom | Dumb husband and strong, level-headed wife raising ugly kids. Jim Belushi fucking sucks. How long can he ride his brother's coattails. |
| One on One | UPN | Bachelor(ette) Sitcom | An ex-NBA player must choose between basketball and his momma |
| Show | Station | Premise | Analysis |
| Monday | |||
| 9:00 | |||
| For Love or Money | NBC | Reality Dating Show | Gold-digging sluts must decide between a million dollars or an ugly guy |
| Raymond | CBS | Family Sitcom | Dumb husband and strong, level-headed wife raising ugly kids. Oh yeah, Ray's parents live next door. Hilarity ensues. |
| George Lopez | ABC | Family Sitcom | Dumb husband and strong, level-headed wife raising ugly kids. Who is George Lopez? |
| Paradise Hotel | FOX | Reality Dating Show | STD's a plenty. TV shows like this demonstrate how cool it is to be a loose whore |
| Everwood | WB | Family Sitcom | A widowed doctor must teach his kids how to be pussies like him |
| Girlfriends | UPN | Bachelor(ette) Sitcom |
Remember Living Single on FOX with Queen Latifah? Well this show is exactly the same except the black chicks are fatter and hornier |
| Show | Station | Premise | Analysis |
| Monday | |||
| 9:30 | |||
| King of Queens | CBS | Family Sitcom | Dumb husband and strong, level-headed AND HOT wife raising ugly, annoying wife's father played by Jerry Stiller. |
| Show | Station | Premise | Analysis |
| Monday | |||
| 10:00 | |||
| Meet My Folks | NBC | Reality Dating Show | Parents prostitute their 25 year old kids (who still live at home because they got a communications degree in college) on national TV |
| CSI Miami | CBS | Crime / Law | Law & Order wanna be. Enough said |
| Primetime Live | ABC | Investgative Reporting | Who cares |