Chapter Seven

"Hello, who's calling?"
   "It- it's me."
   "What's your name, caller?"
   "My name's Noriyasu."
   "What would you like to talk about on our program, Mr. Noriyasu?"
   "I've wanted to call in many times before to discuss my problems. But ... there were just too many. But now I've taken care of all my business, and I'm leaving in two days, so I thought I would give this a try. It's nothing special."
   "Eh? You've taken care of your business? Do you feel better now, then?"
   "Mm, better than a few days ago."
   "A few days ago? Why were you bothered a few days back, then?"
   "Because I had to look at the world from a different perspective recently."
   "A different perspective? You mean that the world may seem ugly?"
   "No, it's not. But ... looking at it through a different set of eyes, the world is very different. With them come desire. The desire to have her. These eyes lie."
   "This is a very interesting topic you've given us. Would you care to explain further?"
   "Try not to see with your eyes. Quietly close your eyes, and in this moment of silence, try to reach out with your purest heart. You may find everything different than it might have been before. You'll find beauty and happiness to fill the emptiness you didn't know your heart had."
   "You seem to be a very learned man, Mr. Noriyasu. Could you hold? We'll talk more. Now let's go to some music. To the audience, now that you've heard Mr. Noriyasu's testimony, why not try it? Close your eyes, and reach out with your purest heart..."

Ayanami Rei walked slowly towards the lobby, deep in thought after another day in the labs. A door was opened for her -- probably a nurse or guard who recognized her. Rei nodded as she passed through it, and braced herself for the wave of cool air rushing past her from within. The public areas of the hospital were always air conditioned to such a degree that it caused Ayanami to wonder if patients could catch colds from it, especially during the winter. Along with the cool waves came the sounds of many people talking, laughing, and shouting. Rei stopped walking for a moment, trying to pick out a familiar voice. She did not have to.
   "Hey! Ayanami!" It was Suzuhara. Ayanami walked carefully towards his general direction. Someone offered a hand and touched her shoulder gingerly -- probably Horaki-san's.
   "Alright! Finally -- I'm starving." Soryu.
   They exited the medical facility, and talked excitedly on the train.
   "Ayanami-san! Congratulations!" Hikari exclaimed with no lack of enthusiasm. Rei tilted her head slightly forward, as if to ask "what" with confusion. "Suzuhara says the doctors have made a breakthrough!" Rei blinked and nodded once after some hesitation. "You'll get your eyesight back soon, then!"
   "And just in time, too," Asuka picked up. "School starts again next term."
   "Oh, they'll be done by then? That site doesn't look like much yet, y'know," Toji considered.
   "Because, idiot," Asuka replied, "with all the construction and people coming in, it'll be one of the most important things to be rebuilt. It's on the top of the list. Don't you read the news?"
   "Yeah?" Toji retorted. "My life's got enough news as it is." Unseen, the freckled girl sitting between the two of them turned slightly redder. "And personally, I ain't that high about going back to school, y'know."
   "Feh, well, I am. And I don't even have to go, being me." Asuka took this oppurtunity sit back slightly, lay a hand on her cheek, and look smug.
   As Toji twitched in a combination of annoyance and disbelief, Hikari leaned forward slightly. "You're really going?"
   Asuka settled herself down, and nodded, grunting an affirmative. Yes, she had chosen to attend school, to take things at everyone's pace for now. She was not perfectly sure yet, but there was a good chance she would spend a good deal of her future living in Tokyo-3, where everything would happen in the midst of a home rebuilt.
   When they stepped off the train, Rei bowed and excused herself from dinner. She did not answer the question why she had to leave. She was not sure herself, but she did not feel like being with such uplifted spirits today. And so she assured everyone she would make it home just fine on her own, and slowly made her way through the quiet and sparsely populated streets she knew so well.
   Her door creaked open, and its familiar smell seemed extra fresh this evening. Tired, Ayanami felt her way to her chair and sat down.
   She would have her vision back soon. She supposed she should have been very excited, but the smallest spark of anticipation she felt was only a fraction of how elated her friends were. Her friends...
   Suddenly, something felt very wrong. Or out of place. Rei stood up from her seat immediately, and closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Her room -- someone had been here. And they had cleaned it.

Shinji watched her window from the construction site. He stood in the wreckage of the nearby building which had no wall to obscure his view. Leaning on a slanted beam, he scooted in towards the wall and wreckage beside it, as if to hide from a blind young girl. It was a very large distance from the window, actually. He could not really see anything other than traces of movement. But he knew very well what was happening. Ayanami Rei had noticed the extra cans in her kitchen. They contained tea, the kind that was once shared between two children there. Shinji rested there, almost closing his eyes and imagining what was happening, imagining that he himself was there.
   His eyes grew almost hazy in the midst of his dreaming, that he did not notice Ayanami leave her room until he heard the familiar noises of a door opening, the door on the roof of the run down apartment complex. Standing straight up, Shinji scampered about the ruins he stood in, looking for a way to get up as high as he could.
   He looked too hard, and found himself two floors above where Rei sat at the edge of the roof, her legs resting over the edge, her arms leaning against the railing, and cheek laying against her arms. The sky's grey's and white tones floated away into the black of night. The lights came out within seconds of one another at one point, and the sleepy side of the city had entered the evening. She remained where she sat for many hours, and Shinji remained where he stood for just as long.

"Katsuragi-san?"
   "Ah, Rei," Misato answered, caught off guard. She had not expected a phone call this late from anyone other than a co-worker, especially not one from Ayanami Rei. In fact, Misato could swear that this was the first time she ever heard of the quiet girl even using a phone. Misato sat up, digesting this information, excited, worried, and flattered all at once.
   "I am sorry for calling you this late," Rei said in a calm voice. That is, it was as if the girl was at absolute peace as she spoke. Misato liked the tone, and found it comforting.
   "Not at all," Misato did her best to make sure she sounded like she meant it, since she really did. This was a welcome departure from the pessimistic estimates and political cautions she usually got at this time of night. "What can I do for you?"
   "I know that this is not very reasonable. But," Rei seemed to pause for herself for just the barest of moments. "I can really feel him near me, very close. He's back..."
   "Slow down. Who's back?"
   "Ikari-kun. Very close by."
   "Rei..." Misato's heart wept for the girl. While she never got that explanation she wanted out of Rei about her thoughts on Shinji-kun, the impression she had received had always been enough. "I think it might just be in your head. Do you understand?"
   "Yes, I understand," Rei said calmly. Had Misato not known any better, she would have sworn she could hear the girl smile as she spoke. "I knew you would say that."
   There was no hint of accusation or condescension in the girl's tone. But then, Rei rarely let any emotions she might have had show face to face, so Misato could not have expected much over a phoneline. "Do you want me to come over, Rei?"
   "No, that's not necessary," Rei assured the woman. "But, it's not just in my head. Ikari-kun's really back." Misato said nothing, or had nothing to say. "At any rate, I am sorry to bother you. Good bye." In a second, she hung up, leaving Misato wondering.
    Rei stood up, and opened her refrigerator. She took out the small watermelon -- quite spoiled now, but still solid, and felt it with her cheek. The cold and even freezing sensation did well to calm her, as it always did, and she put the melon back, whispering a silent good night to it.

Shinji, back at his original spot, watched Ayanami sit by her window briefly, staring out. He almost wished she would see him so that he could wave to her, or at least ... something. But soon the girl pulled the covers up, and Shinji knew the night was over.
   "Good night," he mumbled. He turned slowly, regretfully, and walked away.

...

My last day, Shinji thought as he scratched the final stroke into the wall.

"This man is Seta Noriyasu," Misato pointed at the black and white photo in the newspaper. "He's out halfway around the world digging up artifacts in the name of science. There is no record of any other man by the same name coming to Japan within the past week, and there is certainly no record of any Seta Noriyasu ever existing in the small place where Shinji used to live. His foster parents confirm that they never heard of this guy."
   "You've checked?" Asuka asked with less care than Misato would have appreciated. The redhead's tone and expression implied one word -- "stalker."
   "In other words, that boy is a fake." Misato's tone was grim, and hinted at a sense of anger. She did not like being lied to, and anyone who knew her even slightly understood that. Misato's mind had been ringing alarms the more and more Seta Noriyasu had been revealing how much he knew about Shinji-kun. Too much for the late Shinji to have talked about, if he had not even discussed half of those matters with his friends here. Even if this Seta was supposedly an old and close friend of his. Misato's suspicions had been correct, and now she was left wondering how this new visitor had so much information that he should not have had. "For your protection, I think the both of you should avoid him." Asuka said nothing, but waved nonchalantly, signalling her assent.
   "Rei?" Misato reached out tenderly and just barely touched the girl's hands. The pale blue girl was holding a cup of tea with both hands very firmly. She looked up immediately, however, at Misato's call. "Do you think I should have the police deal with him?"
   The girl shook her head slowly. "No, he hasn't bothered me in a while now."
   Misato briefly considered having someone look into the matter anyway, but decided that for now, "Okay. Then have a nice day, you two. I'm off."

Ayanami had fallen asleep at her desk listening to the radio, and did not notice one Seta Noriyasu climbing around the construction site outside.
   Shinji could not help himself. He had to be here for his last day (how could he be anywhere else?). Of course the sight of that window, so close he could be there in a minute or two, brought him much regret. But at least being here was much better than being anywhere else, where he could only imagine himself near her. The sounds of cicadas were his only company in the night. After a short moment, Shinji turned with hesitation away from the window, and left, glancing back just once as he did so.

She did notice, however, when the piercing beauty of strings and music hit her senses. The music.
   Rei did not even have to think. She stood up and as quickly as she could manage, was out the door. She made her way to the roof, and felt her way around the edges, gaining a good sense of the more specific direction the music was playing from. She pushed her way from the railings, and was out of the building within a minute. Her hand trailing along the walls, she soon found it turn into fencing. It blocked her path towards the sound. Desperately, she clawed for an opening, a way inside, soon, before the music was gone.
   Please, she whispered in breath. Hopelessness was beginning to overwhelm her. She had come too close to tripping, falling, or injuring herself in some way too many times already within the past few minutes. Finally, she fell to her knees, and then sat down. Her hand refused to let go of the fencing. She realized that it was becoming cold quickly -- it was already evening again. Her cheeks had become flushed from the weather, and she almost looked like she would burst into tears. But instead, she just remained still, her head downcast, and waited for the music to end.
   It did, of course, and then, the wind and cold were all Ayanami could feel, and for all she minded, those two elements were the only things left in the world.
   After some time, she heard the distinct sound of footsteps approach her. She recognized them as Katsuragi-san's and Soryu's. Out of respect more than anything else, Rei raised her gaze with effort to greet the woman.
   "Rei..." The voice was not Misato Katsuragi's. It was too matronly. It cared too much.

The door was answered promptly by Asuka.
   "H-hello," Seta did his best to look respectful, and made a hasty bow.
   "What do you want?" The girl asked with noted curiosity. Misato called from within, asking who was at the door. Asuka turned and met the woman and her question with a simple "It's him."
   "Good evening, Misato-san," Seta smiled a small smile, one that did not do well to lift Misato's spirits.
   "Good evening, Seta-kun." The woman then proceeded to grab the boy by his collar with both hands and pressed him against the wall. "What kind of game are you playing?" Her eyes dug into him.
   "I- I just need to borrow something," Seta stuttered and gurgled as he spoke.

Misato hugged the girl back with a vigor that was hollow, but no one noticed that. Rei had fallen apart, and Misato did her best to shut her eyes and block out all the thoughts screaming at her. Thoughts like Seta begging her not to reveal him to Rei. Thoughts like watching Seta, who had seen her and Asuka approach Ayanami, walk the other way back towards the Katsuragi apartment to return the cello. It was cold. Misato took off her jacket and draped it around the girl in her lap. It seemed to do alot to comfort her.
   "Do you know who it was?"
   The question could barely be understood through the small cries in Ayanami's throat. Misato shook her head, very slowly at first, then with some forced enthusiasm. Then she realized that Rei could not see her. "No, I didn't see."
   The girl said nothing, staring at the floor so that her eyes and expression could not be read. Finally, she lay her head on Misato's shoulder, and slowed her breathing.
   "I'm sorry, Rei." Misato held back but one tear. It fell quickly, though, and none followed it. In front of her, Asuka grimaced with a sense of disgust. It was obvious that she believed that Misato should speak up. But the German girl said nothing, and finally, with a growl in her throat, turned away. I'm so sorry, Rei.

Shinji sat slouched very forward in the third pew. His cello slouched with him. This was a church that had been erected a very long time ago, and had few attendees. It made sense, the religion was not especially popular, despite the events within the past two decades. The boy might have been praying, but in fact he was just thinking quietly to himself. Thinking very, very quietly.
   But, at least, she's happy now. And I mattered.
   He leaned back into the seat, and brought his arms up to rest against the back of the pew as well. In front of him was the ever symbolic cross. Looking at it brought into mind Kaoru, the Angels, EVA, his life -- or rather, Shinji Ikari's life. So much turmoil, conflict, but in the end, he did not give it a fraction of the appreciation it deserved. And now he was blessed to be the only person on Earth to be at total peace with the thought of leaving this world (yet again, even), because he knew that something came after it, and welcomed it. Shinji exhaled the contents of his troubled heart, and felt much better. If he were a poet, Shinji would have found himself in the ideal set of circumstances to be inspired. As it was, he just sat there, satisfied and regretful at the same time, and admiring the way his feelings could be so at odds with one another, yet work together in a sort of harmony to make him appreciate the time he had now.

Rei was no longer tired, having slept through most of the cold day from the comfort of her apartment. So she listened to the radio with a heavy but passionate heart. Her eyes were still red from crying, but she felt better now. She was in that state of comfort and recovery that inevitably came in the aftermath of tears. Her feelings had decided that she liked -- or rather loved -- the music again. However...
    Misato stood up as straight as she could to prepare herself for what was to come. Finally, she lifted a hand and knocked on the door. Rei answered it promptly, blinking twice.
   "Rei..."
   Ayanami brought her head up slightly. "Katsuragi-san."
   "I know who it was," Misato declared, nodding. "I wish I didn't, but I don't want to lie to you." Gently, Misato put her hands on the girl's shoulders. She leaned forwards and encased the child in a heartfelt embrace.
   Ayanami Rei's arms remained at her side. "Don't tell me it was Ikari-kun." And tears fell from swimming glass pools of crimson.
   Misato took a second to herself before she answered. "It was Seta."
   When the girl began to walk towards the door, Misato was slightly surprised. The raven-haired woman stared at the floor with remorse as she listened to the girl's footsteps speed up and fade away. Finally, Misato stood up and ran after her.
   "Rei!" she called when she had made it outside. The girl stopped walking, and turned around. "Let me drive you."

Shinji's room. Rei had never been here before, but she could recognize it as his easily as the door was opened. She stepped inside with obvious hesitation. She reached out with her hands in every direction, and took short steps, as if the floor would give way and pull her under at any time.
   Misato stood outside, leaving the girl alone. The woman would not have liked to enter the room, anyway. She stayed and watched, however, as the shadows within seemed to draw in and envelop Rei. The room was a tomb, undisturbed until recently. Everything had lost its color. And so did Rei, it seemed, as she headed in.
   "Watch out!" Asuka called, but it was too late. The cello fell over sloppily against the wall, and a cacophony of tones rang out. Rei knelt down, but not to put it back up. She ran her soft hands over the instrument with care, and found that she could not breathe. Of course it was his -- Shinji's. Satisfied, Ayanami stood it back up, and with Misato's assistance, set it back in its place. She felt around the room more, and stopped at his desk.
   "Did he leave the diary?" Rei asked.

She walked through the hillside by herself. She had requested to be alone, and so Misato waited below. But Ayanami did not walk up the stairway to Shinji's grave as Misato had expected, but instead walked through the sleepy village that spiralled about the hills.
   She was alone now. Or so it seemed -- she could almost feel him nearby again. And so, she decided, against her logical comprehension, to call out, and hope to be answered. It was cold this evening, and the wind shrilled softly. It was unlikely she would be heard.
   "Ikari-kun! Shinji Ikari!"
   She walked through the stone-paved streets, under the glows of lanterns and lights, around the bends of small buildings, trees, and grass. This was the way she had gone the evening Shinji had taken her here. In order to force determination and hope to overrun her sense of regret, she picked up her pace, and called out even louder, disregarding the possiblity that children in the houses nearby may be asleep, while the adults would be distrubed.
   "Shinji!" She yelled, a sense of despair in her voice. It was really only a hint of despair, but to one set of ears nearby, it was caught. It nearly broke Shinji's heart. But still, he followed her a good distance away, knowing that she would be able to hear him should be follow any closer. "Come out!" she cried. He would not. She was walking so quickly that she fell twice, probably injuring herself with minor scratches or bruises. He considered running to her once or twice, but instead had to live with the hope that the girl would give up her foolish drive, and just ... and just give up, and he had.
   The second time she tripped, she landed on her arm, but her thick clothing protected her. The girl sat there for a moment, catching her breath in the cold night. Shinji looked away abruptly. She was beautiful. He wanted to turn and run away, but his legs would not let him. His heart sank into his stomach, and he felt sick. Suddenly, he really wished he had just died like any other person, and wondered why he had chosen to be here, what the meaning behind this torture was.
   She stood back up wobbly on her two legs -- a result of her blindness, not any injury or dizziness. Immediately, she was walking again. She reached the grave, and yelled once more. Ayanami could never lift her voice very high, and tonight was no exception. The air seemed to muddle her calls. Shinji heard them clearly of course, focused on her as he was. He remained on the stairway up to the gravesite, and watched longingly as the girl hopped on the railings and mouthed his name before heading off into the thick of trees that would eventually lead out into the field of tall grass. She travelled slowly, and here it was quieter. In fact, everything seemed almost silent.
   Rei's mind was frustrated beyond her own comprehension. She wished so much that she could open her eyes and see. Then, at least, she would be satisfied with the logical answer that there was no one around to answer her. But blind as she was, hope pulled at her, and carried her through the trees Seta Noriyasu had come through a number of evenings back. Shinji had put his hands in his pockets, and steadily followed the girl's slow progress through the foliage. It was a sight to behold -- a girl, helpless directionally, doing her best not to stumble through such demanding terrain, and a boy, walking calmly and knowingly through it, never closing the distance between them by even a meter. It was dark, but Shinji could not lose sight of her.
   She did not end up in the tall grasses Shinji had walked through on several occasions, such as when he was running away after his second incident in an Evangelion. No, Rei forged forward and where she ended up was a place that surprised Shinji -- though in retrospect, made more sense. It was the hillside where the two of them had met the last Angel. How Rei found her way here through such an unprepared route brought a sad smile to Shinji's lips.
   She sat down, the way she had that evening, and looked up, trying hard, so very hard, to see the sky. The sky that was supposedly covered with burning stars. Shinji stayed a good distance away.
   "Shinji Ikari! Come out!"
   The call echoed with a ferocity that shook Shinji's lungs. He sat down and buried his face in his arms, resisting the urge to scream at the sky.
   "You're really not coming?" Rei murmured. Her eyes held back tears only through anger. She lowered herself slowly down the hill to a bluff which acted as a wall for the street and small houses below. Reaching the edge, she turned around. Shinji started before she had reached the edge. As his end of the bluff was only a few feet to the bottom, he had leapt down, and sprinted towards the girl still barely standing at the edge of the wall.
   He made it, sort of. He did not have much time between stopping his run, staring up, and seeing the girl fall towards him.
   He opened his eyes to a smiling Ayanami Rei.
   "Are you okay?" he asked with concern. He then realized that his rear really ached.
   The smiling girl shook her head and said nothing.
   "Are you crazy?" Shinji scolded her. "What's wrong with you? Why would you do this again? He isn't worth it! Baka..." Ayanami's smile almost became a laugh of joy as she fell forward slightly holding back her ebullience. Shinji froze, realizing what he had done. In fact, he was paralyzed, and could not beathe. His lungs had locked, and his heart was about to burst. No, he was not choking for air the way he thought he would. He just could not breathe.
   "I should have known you were Shinji. And the one playing the music for me." Rei's smile softened, and she faced him, her glass eyes drawing him in with their depth. His lips trembled, and he could feel nothing until he realized that she was leaning in towards him, her hand caressing his cheek tenderly...
   He grabbed her delicate hand quickly, and then slowly guided it away. Her smile died almost immediately, and he exhaled because his lungs forced him so. He broke his gaze away towards the end of the road, stood up, and walked away.

"Shinji!" She had followed the direction of his footsteps with determination. "Shinji Ikari, stop." Her tone sounded commanding from the anger that fueled it. Shinji stopped, if only because he feared that she would injure herself following him at his pace. They were on a bridge, the roads there and below were destroyed, and devoid of any traffic or person.
   "You're wrong," he muttered. "Shinji Ikari was just a good friend, and he is dead. Stop dreaming. Baka." Shinji's head was having trouble holding itself up. "I'm just Seta, I'm sorry."
   "You're lying," Rei declared. Her voice did its best to hiss at him, but she did not have the breathe to.
   Shinji nodded, steeling himself. "You're right. I'm just a fake, a liar. I've beeing lying to you. To all of you."
   "Why can't you face me, then, and tell me who you are?" she pleaded. "Why must you push me away now?"
   "Please understand," Shinji's confidence suddenly fallen apart, his voice croaked. "I don't want it to be this way. But I'm not your Shinji Ikari."
   Ayanami said nothing for a moment. "Fine." Her voice choked slightly as well. "That evening you read to me. There was only one page and yet you knew everything. How?"
   Shinji was shaking his head sadly now, facing the floor. It felt so cold.
   "It's fine if you don't explain yourself to me," Rei declared, regaining some of her usual composure. "I understand that you must have your reasons." Her balance fell an instant later. "But please do not leave." Shinji shut his lips tightly, lest he should lose everything and cry at the way her voice pierced him. "I'm so foolish," Rei cried. Her voice, while still gentle, was now accompanied by a sort of trembling. "I couldn't just believe you were back out of faith. I had to have proof."
   Shinji forced his leg to step forward, to walk on. He did not get very far.
   "You're running? You're going now?"
   Shinji stopped and swallowed. "Yes." He drew a breath before he spoke on, refusing to imagine how the girl behind him might have looked right now. "I'm leaving now. I'm no one. Forget Shinji Ikari. He's gone; you'll never see him again. Please go away." Shinji sniffed once. "Leave me alone!"
   "Fine," Rei replied. "I am sorry, but I have one last request before you go." Shinji turned slightly to see her walking slowly and tiredly towards him. The yellow light pouring down on her haunted him as if brought out her tear-streaked cheeks. "As someone who knew Ikari-kun so well, would you please tell me what he would say if he were here now."
   He turned around, and the boy found that he was glad she could not see him -- his contorted face would have surely given him away. He took a moment to catch his breath and steady himself. He walked up to her as steadily as he could manage, and avoided her eyes, which might have blinded him.
   "Forget about me. Let go of these bad memories." Rei was shaking her head slowly at his words, hating them, keeping from crying, as she discovered she hated that, too. Shinji continued, shutting his eyes. "Please, find happiness again."
   "Fine," Rei hissed, straightening suddenly. "I'll forget him and everything he was." She heard him as she spoke. Heard the cries in his throat. "Please don't leave me," she continued, grabbing him by the arm the way she had so many times before. He pulled away as viciously as he could, then regretted it when he heard a cry emit from her lips. His own cries were escaping now, his concentration lost as he could not escape her accusing, pleading eyes. "I cannot forget him, as you ask," Rei finally said softly. "But I don't care if you are not Shinji Ikari." She took a small step towards him, causing him to fall back a step as well. "I do not mind if you're not Seta Noriyasu." She took another step towards him, grabbing his arm again. "But please," she tightened her grip. His arm was shaking. "Don't leave me again." She fell into him, her forehead pressed into his shoulder. "Please." It was a word, she realized, that she meant as she spoke it.
   Finally, finally, a hand came up and held her cheek gently. She lifted her gaze, and lifted her hand to him as well. He dipped his head forward unto hers to better receive it, and Shinji cried. He cried because her face was so warm compared to his, which must have been freezing. Because he loved the sensation emanating from the her palm on his cheek, and because she was embracing him now. And he could only offer his own embrace in return, one that could not match hers no matter how tightly he held her. What had he done to be so fortunate? It hurt, holding her like this. It hurt so much, but he could not leave it.

"It's nearly midnight, and it's snowing in China tonight, and the nation is celebrating. Many of you might be waiting for it outside tonight, so I'll be with you all night."
   "Shinji wished that he could be with you when the snow first falls here." They sat on the roof of Ayanami's home. There was no tea this time, but there was the radio. Rei was holding one of Shinji's arms with both of her own.
   "This will do," she answered. Shinji had to smile at such an answer. It probably meant more to him than it did to her.
   "You've got a good soul, Rei. God will watch over you."
   "Can God give me Shinji back? So that he would always be near me? That was my wish." She held him tighter, and leaned on him even more.
   Shinji held her back, but looked elsewhere sadly. "Shinji had a second wish, too. But..." He stared down at her with a heavy heart. "It can never come true."
   "Mr. Noriyasu promised he would call back before he left tonight. And we're still waiting..."
   Shinji dialed.
   "Hello? It's me, Noriyasu." He took a breath, and continued. "I appreciate the care everyone has for me." He turned and looked at Ayanami, who looked back with those bottomless eyes of hers. "I want to say something ... to the one I love."
   "Why can't you just tell her yourself?"
   Shinji sighed silently. "Because," he shut his eyes as he spoke. "When I expected nothing, I unexpectantly had her affection." Memories swirled in his mind, of him cutting Ayanami's hair, or taking her to the hospital in the mornings, or just sitting on a roof overlooking unremarkable scenery as they were now. He took another deep breath. "But when I pursued her love, she turned away." Like the way she turned and left that evening, so coldly, stating that memories meant nothing to her. "I'm leaving soon, but I will bring with me my most precious memories." Rei's eyes were holding back tears as he spoke into the cold night. "Times of laughter, and times of tears, I hope these memories stay with the one I love. To help her be strong, and carry on." She was holding as much of him as she could now, so gently, yet so passionately.
   "Five days is very short. But I want to tell the audience to hold on to what they have as tightly as they can, so they do not disappear. So that you won't regret." He stopped talking, and leaned into her so that he could feel her breathe.
   "Well spoken, Mr. Noriyasu. Our listeners appreciate it. So, then. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
   "Could I ask..." Rei was definitely crying now, even if she was totally silent. "Could I ask everyone to close your eyes again, and just feel the person next to you with your heart? It might be ... wonderful."

Toji Suzuhara held Hikari with his arm. The freckled girl brought her longing gaze from the sky downwards, and leaned into him. The moon that watched them also watched one Misato Katsuragi as she held a hotspring penguin in her arms on the balcony of her apartment building. Beside her was Asuka Langley, propping her arms against the railing, staring at nothing.

It was so cold outside, so cold that it was a shame that no snow accompnied it. "I'm sorry my wish didn't come true." It was all Shinji could think of saying. He was looking up at the sky, not for snow, but because he was feeling light. So light, that he could just fly up towards it. Rei did not notice -- she had shut her eyes and was holding him to keep from losing tears.
   "Make another," she whispered.
   He looked down at her, and she raised her gaze in response. He was shaking his head gently, and he realized he had learned why Kaoru always smiled that sad, sad smile of his. Or at least, he understood how it must have felt. "I can't," he did his best to sound light-hearted. "I've already made two. If a third one doesn't come true, what will I do?"
   She leaned on him again, just holding him and saying nothing.
   The light feeling in his stomach had begun to spread to the rest of him now, and felt as if he was being hypnotized. And so quickly, before anything happened, he held her shoulders gently, pulled back, and looked at her one last time as best he could. She was shaking her head now, trying not to believe it. But then, she reached up, held his cheeks gently and leaned to his side.
  "I'll wait," she whispered. Shinji looked back at her and shook his head frantically. Or rather, he frantically tried to. Her goodbye evoked a sort of warmth that was spreading from within him. Then she began to cry, but held back as much of it as she could. She finally let go of him, and waited. There were but the sounds of the cold air, but when he had gone, she brought her legs up, turned and leaned against the railing, and curled inwards.

To Toh Ee Loong, thanks for everything.

Author's note: Difficult chapter, despite the fact that most of it was inspired by Fly Me to Polaris. I wonder if this says something about my writing ability. Well, anyway, I'm done. Finished. This is the first time I've ever completed a multi-parted project. Anyone who's watched me transit through my years of writing knows what my track record is like, and so understands that for me, this is actually kind of important. I wonder if it was worth it... I might write an epilogue, if my mood prompts me to.